Advice for a father please

Callum_77

Hello,

Im finally at my wits end now and have no idea where to turn to.

For 5 years I have been fighting through court to see my daughter. Her mother vanished a few times and eventually she decided to say I wasnt the father. After it taking nearly a year to do a DNA test, it was proved I was.

So she then takes me to the CSA.....still whilst I have no access.

Eventually things get closer and a meeting is arranged for me to finally meet my daughter! The hour I had with her supervised was excellent and we got on so well. She saw a book I made with a life story of me and my family.
Then the mother decided we could meet up once a week with the little one so she could get to know me.

Next thing I know, she is sending texts saying little one didnt want to get in the car? So it goes back to the solicitors and court. Yet she doesn't turn up to anything.

I received a letter today saying she has moved to Spain!!!!!

So now I am left with 3 grand in solicitors fees, CSA which is £60 a week (I dont even bring home £200 a week for working nights now) and no access to my daughter.

I know this is in the CSA section, I wanted to know if there is anything I can do to stop or reduce payments. CSA said not last time I rang.

Also if there is any advice on what to do now?

Sorry for the long post.

kevin137

If she has moved to spain and it is HER that has said that, i would contact the CSA and ask if you are still liable for CM or if she would have to use REMO... At the very least you will be able to pay for the solicitors bill with the money...

I know it is not a help, and some parents can really be horrible when it comes to using children against there ex, and that is men as well as women...!

Apply back to court anyway, but apply for a residency order, if she is NOT there then it is hard for her to defend, and you could well find that you are granted custody, this is something that i would consider, and chase hard over my child for in your circumstances...

I would definitely make a formal complaint against the CSA about being told you must still pay, and copy in your MP, i am pretty sure that she MUST be in receipt of Child Benefit to force a claim, and if she is claiming that while she is resident in a foreign country she could well be committing fraud as well...

Keep us up to date and ask if you need any advice, there is plenty here, but you have to decide for yourself the best action you take.

creampuff

hi there
sorry to hear of your situation , although i can't give specific advice i would double check with the CSa or someone here might be able to advise on payments - as she is outside of the UK i'm not sure how the CSA payments work - i thought they stopped but someone will clarigy that for you.

Also, do you have parental responsibility? if so, she is not allowed to take your little one ut of the country for more than 1 month without your consent..

Callum_77

Thank you, it was the council that sent the letter to my solicitors saying she has taken the little one out of school and not registered her anywhere else. The letter says other mothers have said she has moved abroad.

She didn't turn up for court a few times and ignored all contact from her solicitor, so it was ordered for them to find her via school etc etc.

kevin137

I would consider looking at this site...

http://www.childsupportlaws.co.uk/moving-abroad-issues.html

It appears that if you have contact that you may well have parental responsibility, and that means by leaving the country she has technically "abducted" your child, she must have consent from you and or the court that deals with contact, so chase that up and make an application for immediate custody through the court on the basis of abduction. Report it to the police as soon as possible, and get hold of the CSA very quickly as well...!!!

If you can get into court and get an order granted, then you MUST send this to the CSA immediately, this will stop any claim she has against you on the spot, they can only use certain types of paperwork to stop a claim, and the most commonly used is the Child Benefit, however a court order is just as good if not better...

This may well give her a real shock and a few nights locked up will certainly clear her head about any actions she may take regarding future contact and not attending court...! That is if she ever got custody back...

I hope you have a supportive family that can help you through this, and try to make as many arrangements as you can for your child to live with you prior to going to court if you choose to do that, so you can prove that you are able to care for your child...

Do not under any circumstances allow anyone to tell you that she has the right to remove the child without your permission, this is completely untrue, and abduction is abduction even by a parent without the correct permission...!!!

pmlindyloo

Another useful site:

http://www.separateddads.co.uk/ex-wants-take-child-live-eu-country-what-are-rights.html

romanempire

As well as the points made above also check out Families Need Fathers. Lots of relevant advise and useful stuff in the forums.

R.

kevin137

The other thing you need to be aware of in all this, is that if you had a court order and she breached it, then she is technically in "contempt of court" and can be imprisoned here for that offence, at that stage she would have no say as to the care of your child, as you would be awarded custody anyway, or should be...

Most of the stuff you need to do, you can do yourself, and reducing your solicitors costs can be very simple, do the grunt work yourself, make the applications yourself etc... This will reduce your costs, but also consider applying for legal aid if you can, under the circumstances, you may well be entitled whereas before you weren't... If you don't ask you will never know...!

Callum_77

Thank you very much for the replies. I do have a lot of family support, infact it was my partner who suggested using this site for advice.

I have just come off the phone to the CSA and Child Benefit. The CSA advised me if she was still claiming child benefit its fraud and they can do more legally, if she isn't claiming child benefit, then my case would be closed. She did say to ring back next week when she has looked into it and I could also ring the child benefit.

So I rang the child benefit, he didn't say yes or no as to wether she was still claiming, but he did say it would be passed to management and onto the fraud squad, so Im guessing she is. So I guess its just a matter of waiting now.

Im back in court at the end of this month, so I will see what court says regarding her moving as she is supposed to be there too!

Thanks again for the advice, really appreciate it.

RAS

There is something called a prohibited steps order, basically means that you can apply to stop her taking LO out of the country without your consent. Check out threads by far2812 as she had to do this to stop her ex taking LO to Peru where his new "wife" came from.

Mark148

I understand how you are feeling and the pain, angst and stress that you are under as I have bee there myself. My advice would be as so:

a. Get yourself onto the 'families Need Fathers' website as they are the font of knowledge regarding difficult issues such as this.
b. Use a reputable McKenzie Friend which you will find on FNF. They are excellent and I feel will represent you better and far cheaper than a solicitor. They are unable to talk for you less when agreed by the judge but this is allowed the majority of the time. I used a solicitor initially until my bills racked up to £15k + and then found the FNF site and it was a revelation, and cheaper.
c. Do lots of reading and invest time in your own knowledge of the whole process because in simple terms it is a game and understanding the rules to play will help you to win. Ignorance is not an excuse.
d. Never let personal feelings and hatred get in the way, everything you do must be child focused and centred on the wellbeing of your child.
e. Be patient as it is a long road with many ups and downs.
f. As for the CSA stuff, sorry cant help you there.

Good look, keep your head, try to keep smiling and always remember that you are a good father who cares about his child as you wouldn't be asking these questions.