Please help - can't get new mortgage, should we rent?

colli

If I were you I'd just squirrel away as much money as I can. Your wedding is not until next year and it will be at least another 9 months after than before a baby arrives (I'm assuming ), even after the baby arrives you're advised to have them sleep in your room for 6 months so you've got ages before you need to make any decision. The more money you have the more options will be available to you.

Good luck!

ETA I wouldn't put off having kids if that's what you want, especially if you want more than one. You never know how long it will take (16 months and counting for us, 2 pregnancies and 2 miscarriages) and now whilst we'll be over the moon for no.1 as the months tick by a sibling is looking more unlikely.....Just my personal opinion, I wish we had been braver and gone for it earlier, like they say there is no perfect time for a baby.

HWoody1983

Thanks Colli, that's what I'm thinking...I will have quite a bit of spare income once my debts are paid in June so will be able to save or make substantial overpayments on the mortgage then.

Bitter&Twisted, I will be 30 next year but the two friends I have who are going through IVF have advised not to leave it much longer, they started trying around 32 years of age and one of them is 40 now and still had no luck. Plus 80% of my friends all miscarried their first child, a problem that seems to occur when you have been on the pill so long as I have (since I was 16) so don't want to leave it too long...plus my fella is obsessed about not being and 'old' dad!!! haha!

We work extremely hard and have established a secure relationship and financial situation so just feel that after the wedding would be the right time... It's just unfortunate that the housing market and lenders don't really make allowances for us 'deciding it;s the right time!' ha!

Thanks again x

zzzLazyDaisy

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Your wife to-be has yonks of child-bearing years ahead, ten years as an absolute minimum.

OP is the wife-to-be!

Also many women approaching 30 do not have 'ten years as an absolute minimum' to start/complete a family. As women get into their late 30's early 40's it can become very difficult to get pregnant, and if OP wants more than one child, this means allowing for the year/s in between the children and any delays in conceiving each child.

Not that I think OP needs to panic just yet, she is still in her 20's, but nor do I think it appropriate to suggest that she's got ten or more years ahead of her, in which to have children. Ever wondered why there are so many childless professional women around these days?

HWoody1983

haha! My thoughts exactly lazy daisy!

I have never really had a maternal instinct even though I have worked with children all my life as a teacher and am now an advisory teacher so am bit more hands-off Then over the last year, it's just crept up on me and we have decided we can definitely see ourselves having a child...obviously assuming it is our choice to make...who knows?

I'm a big believer in what's meant to be will be but am also a bit OCD when it comes to planning! I like to have a bit of a plan and then I can prepare, hence why we are thinking about moving house etc now...not sure about this grown up lark...Lol!
Thanks again x

Yorkie1

OP, not quite sure how best to phrase this so apologies if it comes across the wrong way. People always advise from their own viewpoint. You have 2 friends who are undergoing IVF - I think that's a pretty high % amoung friends for most people, and the numbers of people who do require IVF must be a very small proportion of the general population. Just because your friends need IVF does not mean that you will, and nor should it mean that you should be panicked by their experience / views and thus base your own plans on their experiences.

At under 30 you are still young and have not even started trying for a child yet if I understand your posts correctly.

If you want to go for it, then do so, but don't feel you have to plan for a child immediately based on someone else's life stories.

On a completely separate note, this forum has seen many many threads about renting to family. The universal advice on here is that it should be avoided at all costs because the risks of either misunderstandings or fallings out are far too high. Imagine the stress of facing losing your house because a family member unexpectedly didn't pay you your rent - and you had to choose between evicting them and a major family split.