help for father with dementia

cheepskate_2

hi
Wondering if anyone can help with info.
Father recently diagnosed with dementia.
He stays London, we are in Scotland, there is no one near him to help.
We have been told because he is still very able at the moment that he reallt wont get any help.

In general we can fix most things, with VERY lenghth calls, altho very tiring and frustrating we can usually get there inthe end

BUT we realy need help for when we cant fix it, such as tunning in his telly, he's done something to it but we dont know what. Now its not just a case of saying do this do that as he goes onto something else or does something different, as is usuall the case .
The telly is just one example, but we have the same with the heating etc.
so its really a sort of pop in person we need
many thanks

pukkamum

How are your dads neighbours?
I generally find that even if he does not interact with them at the moment, if you were to pop in on one of them and explain the situation they would be more than happy to help.

CH27

cheepskate wrote: »

hi
Wondering if anyone can help with info.
Father recently diagnosed with dementia.
He stays London, we are in Scotland, there is no one near him to help.
We have been told because he is still very able at the moment that he reallt wont get any help.

In general we can fix most things, with VERY lenghth calls, altho very tiring and frustrating we can usually get there inthe end

BUT we realy need help for when we cant fix it, such as tunning in his telly, he's done something to it but we dont know what. Now its not just a case of saying do this do that as he goes onto something else or does something different, as is usuall the case .
The telly is just one example, but we have the same with the heating etc.
so its really a sort of pop in person we need
many thanks

Contact the Alzheimers Society. They have befrienders who go to visit people & help them out.

How often do you visit him?

rb211

1st Contact Social Services and ask for an Assessment
2nd Apply for attendance Allowance
3rd Apply for Council Tax relief (100%) because of Severe Mental Impairment

Kittendreich

Some council areas have 'handy man' services (either council run or voluntary sector) that can help with 'little' jobs - can be anything from changing lightbulbs to small DIY tasks. Could he/you afford a cleaner? A few hours a week to keep the place clean and to help out with little jobs (like sorting the tv) wouldn't cost too much . Also means someone will see your dad regularly and could be encouraged to keep in contact with you as to how he is keeping so you can guage when additional support is necessary to keep him safe / happy. This can be difficult to sense over the phone and in spread out visits.

It might be a good time to discuss (the next time you visit) what the longer term plans are going to be when he needs much more support. Would he consider moving to Scotland to be near you (if you are able to provide support) or would he move into a care home (in London or Scotland?). It might also be useful to get things like power of attourney and financial and welfare guardianship organised now while he still choose what he wants to happen. Although they will be difficult conversations to have will save you having to guess what he would have wanted when he is no longer able to decide for himself. Hopefully you won't need to use them, but it is much easier to have them in place already if they are.

Tiddlywinks

The reality is that you father's condition will get progressively worse and the sooner a plan is made that acknowledges that the better you will all feel.

Who diagnosed your dad? Normally the consultant or memory clinic would make a referral to Social Services to assess your father's home and needs. Has a care package been discussed?

Does your father have any local family support to attend appointments etc? Normally there is regular monitoring of someone with his condition to look at his progression, reaction to drugs etc. It is important that someone who knows him well attends these appointments with him.

Unless your father has a partner or close family at hand I do think that it would make sense to close the geographical gap between you - for everyone's peace of mind.

Good luck

Mojisola

Having carers/cleaners/gardener/handyman to visit regularly will cope will some of the problems in the short term but, from my experience with my parents, you need someone local who will respond whenever needed (that's me, in our case). If the television won't work because odd buttons have been pressed on the zapper, if the trip switch goes on the electricity, if a pint of milk is dropped and shattered, there has to someone who will respond there and then to sort things out. If there's no family or very kind neighbour to do so then your Dad's time of living independently is going to be limited.