Sons Friend Staying

ladeda

Hi. First time Poster so please be gentle.

Bit of advice please.

My Middle son (18) has a friend (19) who has been evicted from his lodgings (he was staying at in a YM place). His circumstances were that he was employed, but then lost his job due to the company closing and is currently on JSA, and then couldnt pay the rent.. fell behind, and served with eviction notice from the courts..

His mother & father separated and have both moved away, his father abroad, and his mother to another part of the country to be close to her mother and is "unable" to have him lodge with her. He has lived in the area all his life and his friends etc are all around this area.

My Son asked if he could stay with us for a bit until he gets himself sorted, and i have agreed, on the understanding that its just for a couple of weeks. He is currently sleeping in my sons room on a blow up air bed.

He went to the council yesterday to fill in some forms to get on the Housing register etc, and came back and informed me that I need to write a letter to the council saying that he is currently staying with us.

Is there a sample letter template that i can use.. Whilst i dont mind him staying for a couple of weeks, I certainly do not want any letter to be construed by the council, that this is a permanent thing.

Thanks in Advance for any advice

Ladeda

Peater

Ooh, interesting.

The council would love nothing more than for you to take responsibility of him, so be uber-careful in spoken and written correspondance. You are correct to be aprehensive.

Hopefully someone will be along with some more specific advice.

Maddie_S_2

The best thing to do is to set an end date on how long he can stay with you and do not agree to extend this, however much the council ask you to. He will have no right to stay beyond any date you give and if the council has an obligation to help him (which they may not as he is 19) then they will have to house him once he has to leave your house.

As he is just a guest in your house, it almost doesn't matter what you say at this stage as you can change your mind at any time and ask him to leave.

Lotus-eater

I can't help on your exact problem, I don't know the ins and outs of it.

I just wanted to say well done for letting him stay, I hope he's a good kid.

I know when I was 18 and had nowhere to stay it was terrible, you feel very exposed and unwelcome everywhere.

ladeda

Thanks for the replies.. yes I intend to be very careful of how I deal with the council.

I think your right Maddie, I will state a specific end date in the letter.

Lotus-Eater - Yeah he seems like a nice enough kid.. has knocked around with my Middle boy since they were in school, so we've sort of known him for a few years.

He is looking for other options, not just the council, and is up early every morning looking for work (unlike my Son.. who thinks getting up early means lunchtime... only has college in afternoons)

I wouldnt want my kids to be in the same position, hence why he is with us at present.

CATS

Hi Ladeda,

I am no expert but I knew someone in a similar situation. You need to show that it is overcrowded for you and that there is no room where he can stay. Make sure you make it clear that he is sleeping on the floor in your son's room and not in a comfortable spare room. Also I would indicate that you only took him in as an emergency and cannot keep him for longer than xxxx due to the lack of space. This is what was adviced to someone I know. Bsically it is all about showing the council he is basically homeless and you only a good samaritan. Hope this helps

claire16c

Another one to say its a really nice thing you are doing. One of my friends had massive problems with her parents at that age, they were really awful to her. If it hadnt been for friends I dont know where she would have slept. Ten years later she has only just properly made up with them about it.

I think the letter basically needs to say that he is not living with you, and shows that he is effectively homeless, he is only there on the floor as an emergency and can not stay there after x date.

But hopefully someone else can help word it better than me!

pinkshoes

I'd just say you're temporarily housing as he had no where else to go, but due to forthcoming family visits, you can no longer house him after 31st January 2012, so he will need to find his own housing before this date.

I think what you're doing is really nice, and well done to this lad for his enthusiasm to get a job!

JoJoB

Usually a council wil classify someone as homeless if they are to be evicted in less than 28 days time, so make sure your date reflects this. Once e is classified as homeless they will go through options with him.

anxious_mum

Bless you for taking him in, I can't advise you in any way, but I think you must be a really decent person to do this. I have an 18 year old who I would dearly like to farm out, so when you sort out this one can I send him your way? :-)

Kay_Peel

Your letter must be addressed to the young man, not the council. It should be short and factual, for example:

Dear John

You have been a guest in my home since (date), on the understanding that it was a short-term, temporary and an emergency measure. I am not in a position to continue the arrangement and give you notice to leave on or before 31st January 2012."


It sounds brutal, but without clear, unambiguous language and deadlines, the council will not act.