LBM in 2003.. What have I been doing since??!

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Hello

I have decided to start a diary. Have lurked on here since early 2009, subscribed to loads of threads, loved all the camaraderie and found it very useful for getting shot of debt, starting savings and all that kind of good stuff but then have slipped and skidded into more debt, especially as I left a FT job this spring and yet seem to be still living as if I was FT and not PT...loving feeling more human though and seeing more of the kids but financially it's not great. I need to welcome and appreciate living a much more frugal life.

HOWEVER..even writing that seems bonkers as for a household we are well off with an embarrassingly high income of about 90k gross. :o But clearly as the newly updated signature shows there is no hiding that we (OH, me and 2 DDs) are living beyond our means, failing to prioritise the right things and generally need to rectify all this otherwise, well no otherwise, it simply can't continue. All the savings and OP pot will go and I won't be able to rob Peter to pay Paul anymore which is what I think I have been doing.. Not sure ( which is also embarrassing ) but must have been plus then started to use the 0% credit cards again which can be a slippery slope if not used properly.

I am going away now to do some more on why I have got myself into this mess, ensure I am clear there is no going back and also what my goals are. Hoping this will help me focus and as you guys ( hope you're reading;) are such a supportive bunch on here I am hoping you will also help me! But even if no one reads, I think I need the discipline of sticking to a programme..I can't afford to slip again. This needs to be a new permanent way of life. Currently we try and do all the things that make us feel good about ourselves, the world, the environment, our family..but perhaps we can't do it all and need to make choices? I guess everyone must but we have just not had to as yet.

So a few things to do. Sorry for rambling first post but I needed to take the first step!! Which also reminds me must check out the 'what DFW things have you done today' thread..that used to be magic. Used to love doing that 'stock take' every day

Onwards and upwards:T

Cheers

Brizzle
MFiT-T4 Member No. 96 - 2022 is my MF goal :D
Winter 17/18 Savings Rate Goal: 25% [October 30%] :T
Declutter 60 items before 31.03.18 9/60 ** LSDs Target 10 for March 03/10 **AFDs 10/15 ** Sales/TCB Target 2018 £25/£500 NSDs Target 10 for March 02/10 Trying to be a Frugalista:rotfl::T
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  • brizzledfw
    brizzledfw Posts: 7,302 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
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    OK so I probably need to do an SOA and seek advice..have been through the BudgetBrain process from this site several times but I just keep overspending on the discretionary items..must be. My weaknesses are food, even though we buy fresh and cook from scratch my OH jokes that I think it's a national disaster if there are no olives in the fridge :o, also eating out, alcohol and probably holidays. I think it's a reaction to thinking I have a full on job and so I deserve nice things...that may be true but I need to find some FREE nice things!

    We do try and save quite a bit..but I know, I know, we should pay off debts first. I need to think carefully about next steps, especially as some of the credit cards are 0% for the rest of the year. I think my preferred plan is to build up the OP pot in the mortgage and then just withdraw it in November to pay off the cards. The crazy thing is that I did a BT to get rid of my OD and then because they are interest free on both purchases and BTs have been using them freely..as 'free' money. I am so daft.

    Anyway, the reason for the diary name is that when my youngest DD was small I read a book called Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin which made me realise about my dysfunctional relationship with money..so in 2003 you could say I read a life changing book and then failed to change....now an embarrassing 8 years later with reduced income I am trying to sort stuff out. Lord it makes me sick to even say it..but here's hoping writing a diary will be cathartic too.

    Cheers

    Brizzle
    MFiT-T4 Member No. 96 - 2022 is my MF goal :D
    Winter 17/18 Savings Rate Goal: 25% [October 30%] :T
    Declutter 60 items before 31.03.18 9/60 ** LSDs Target 10 for March 03/10 **AFDs 10/15 ** Sales/TCB Target 2018 £25/£500 NSDs Target 10 for March 02/10 Trying to be a Frugalista:rotfl::T
  • brizzledfw
    brizzledfw Posts: 7,302 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    edited 5 January 2012 at 6:46PM
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    So as of today the plan is:

    1. Do the DFW things thread every day. Have done it today and it's nice to be back there.

    2. Track everything into the Xpensit account on OH's iPhone but then also analyse what we are spending on, with, you never know, any surplus (!) being swept off towards the debt repayment fund :rotfl:

    3. Start PADing again. It worked well before. Will do against the Co*+ CC first as that is accruing interest and given the nice NYs pressie from the bank we are not paying any interest on our OD until April

    4. Turn out the sealed pot stash and use that to pay off some of the OD. I do like collecting the £2 coins..they are so like chocolate money aren't they..and I should use those in the future, ie. keep collecting to make a PAD against one of the debts. Another idea from this site that I love

    5. EBay stuff even if OH hates doing the photos and packing/ sending off. Whens the next fee free weekend, does anyone know? We have stuff we can sell and to quote that annoying supermarket every little does help. We can't afford to be choosy. Have a bag already sorted ( since the Autumn:o) and maybe as its after Xmas it's time for even more stuff to move on as well

    6. And perhaps most importantly, make a real effort to live within our grocery budget..I am sure that's where lots of the leakage is. I just love food and it forms a large part of our budget but also its all around socialising etc. For the record..our mortgage repayments are also huge but that's our choice..want to pay off before DD1 reaches 18 so that we have options to help her if she needs it for HE or house etc. Only have 13 years to run but with significant overpayments and these days of ultra low interest rates we should be able to get it down to nearer 7 or 8 which would help with this goal. However it will be tough that's for sure.

    Anyway that's the latest..thanks guys for reading :)

    Brizzle
    MFiT-T4 Member No. 96 - 2022 is my MF goal :D
    Winter 17/18 Savings Rate Goal: 25% [October 30%] :T
    Declutter 60 items before 31.03.18 9/60 ** LSDs Target 10 for March 03/10 **AFDs 10/15 ** Sales/TCB Target 2018 £25/£500 NSDs Target 10 for March 02/10 Trying to be a Frugalista:rotfl::T
  • jwil
    jwil Posts: 19,363 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Photogenic First Post
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    Good luck!
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
  • brizzledfw
    brizzledfw Posts: 7,302 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
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    Hi jwil

    Thanks! I will need it.

    Thats a huge goal in your sig! What are your secrets??!

    Think you have a diary- will investigate!! :-)

    Cheers...
    MFiT-T4 Member No. 96 - 2022 is my MF goal :D
    Winter 17/18 Savings Rate Goal: 25% [October 30%] :T
    Declutter 60 items before 31.03.18 9/60 ** LSDs Target 10 for March 03/10 **AFDs 10/15 ** Sales/TCB Target 2018 £25/£500 NSDs Target 10 for March 02/10 Trying to be a Frugalista:rotfl::T
  • cj75
    cj75 Posts: 20 Forumite
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    Hi, next free listing for ebay is this weekend. Have fun listing :)
    Pay off all your debts by xmas 2013 #71 - £210.84 paid (BoM - £-100/130, CC1 (L) £-1831.58/1,866.00, o/d £30 + several others) - Debts paid in full 2013 x 1 :)
    2012 paid £1,162.32 paid & 2 debts paid in full

    No buying unnecessary toiletries and declutter during 2013!!!
  • brizzledfw
    brizzledfw Posts: 7,302 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
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    Thanks cj, will get onto OHto take some pretty piccies..

    Have a great weekend

    Brizzle
    MFiT-T4 Member No. 96 - 2022 is my MF goal :D
    Winter 17/18 Savings Rate Goal: 25% [October 30%] :T
    Declutter 60 items before 31.03.18 9/60 ** LSDs Target 10 for March 03/10 **AFDs 10/15 ** Sales/TCB Target 2018 £25/£500 NSDs Target 10 for March 02/10 Trying to be a Frugalista:rotfl::T
  • jwil
    jwil Posts: 19,363 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Photogenic First Post
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    brizzledfw wrote: »
    Hi jwil

    Thanks! I will need it.

    Thats a huge goal in your sig! What are your secrets??!

    Think you have a diary- will investigate!! :-)

    Cheers...

    I have a lot of debt :o That goal is how much I want to pay towards them, it won't be how much they reduce by as not all are interest free. It should result in a decent reduction though!
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
  • SassySuccess
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    Well done on taking stock. Learn from the past and then let it go. Start NOW and make the difference you are looking for!

    Most importantly, be creative and have fun on the journey so you enjoy reaching the destination x
    :A 2012 - the year of Joy & Success
    Clear debts, other than mortgage by 1st July 2012
    Spend Free Days (SFD): Jan - 2/25
    Shred 100 items: Jan - 2/100
    Body De-Clutter: 0/58
    :heart2:
  • brizzledfw
    brizzledfw Posts: 7,302 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    Options
    Thanks Sassy..lovely advice and chimes very well with the concept that living frugally and thoughtfully is not about deprivation or never having enjoyment in your life but about in actually increasing options.. Eg. Options to reduce debt and build up savings so that you can perhaps leave a job you hate, or retire early, work less, support good causes with time or money etc etc. whatever floats your boat really.

    I love the idea of being creative. I love a project :rotfl: and maybe this can be in the title!!

    Have had a slow weekend as at my mums so no eBay listing..:( but on other hand OH has said he will take photos etc and help me list shortly..will be good if we can manage it all together. All the packing is such a hassle. I might do some as buyers collect.Easier.

    From dad have haul of wood for the stove, a paper log maker ( this could be fun and very environmentally friendly as it uses up newspapers that would be recycled) cakes and pot plants. Very good of them:T

    We are also planning to get rid of a car. Having done the sums think we are better off with me having a company car. In the meantime we will be able to sell a car, it's not worth a lot but it will at least pay off some of the new debt.. :mad:I can hardly bear to write this. It still makes me so mad that I accumulated new debt..so stupid. But write it I must.its the truth.

    Have been reading the follow on book to Your Money or Your Life, called Getting Your Life and it is interesting, just about changing your whole dysfunctional relationship with money, taking control of it and accordingly your life. For me one of the main things has to be changing your philosophy that having more stuff is always better.

    Sitting at home now with glass of wine and watching a movie, well multi tasking on this!. With OH and kids...what a blissful Sunday eve. Small pleasures like this are what it's all about.

    Have a good week all

    Brizzle
    MFiT-T4 Member No. 96 - 2022 is my MF goal :D
    Winter 17/18 Savings Rate Goal: 25% [October 30%] :T
    Declutter 60 items before 31.03.18 9/60 ** LSDs Target 10 for March 03/10 **AFDs 10/15 ** Sales/TCB Target 2018 £25/£500 NSDs Target 10 for March 02/10 Trying to be a Frugalista:rotfl::T
  • brizzledfw
    brizzledfw Posts: 7,302 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    Options
    PS Sassy if youre reading.. What is a body decluttering??! :-)
    MFiT-T4 Member No. 96 - 2022 is my MF goal :D
    Winter 17/18 Savings Rate Goal: 25% [October 30%] :T
    Declutter 60 items before 31.03.18 9/60 ** LSDs Target 10 for March 03/10 **AFDs 10/15 ** Sales/TCB Target 2018 £25/£500 NSDs Target 10 for March 02/10 Trying to be a Frugalista:rotfl::T
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