Divorce - Visitation costs for Children

srob030869

We have decided to get divorced due to my (ex)Wife's affair which she has admitted and agreed to a Divorce citing this as a reason.

We have also reached a financial agreement regarding the care of the Children with the eldest (17 and at college) wanting to stay with me and my wife insisting the youngest ( 9 ) lives with her and I will pay slightly above what the CSA calculations state to her on a weekly basis changing in line with any salary changes I have.

We have no assets apart from a car ( £2000 ), rented home, old furniture and belongings, nothing worth much at all. She moved out in July.

The only sticking point we currently have is she is planning on moving to Glasgow from Durham, so costs to get my daughter every 2 weeks will rise significantly. Who is it up to, to bear these costs, as it is her who is moving away?

rachbc

I guess the fairest woudl be to split half, my ex only lives 8 miles away but we do one trip each - I drop off he returns. When son goes to see him for tea his dad pays the bus fare.

Mojisola

If you can't follow rachbc's suggestion, as you're paying over the CSA rates, how about reducing that amount by the cost of transport?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Unfortunately, it depends on whether you want to see your younger child or make a point.


If she can't afford it, doesn't drive, you kept the car as part of the separation, then it's up to you to get there.

HTH.

curlytop12

when ex and i split,he said he'd stay in the town we lived to be near DS.
instead he moved 80 miles away to where the lady he was seeing lived .after a year of messing me about/being no support/ i then moved 150 miles in other direction for family support/help with DS etc,
CSA wouldn't grant ex any relief on his payments for travelling costs,and thats a 6 hour round trip.
now he does the full trip on a friday,i meet him half way on a sunday,though this is my choice.

if i were you,try compromise,in the end the arguing will wear you out!
see if you can pay going rate for maintainance and share travel costs.
good luck

Marisco

But if he is already paying over the odds, and has the teenage child living with him, then it's only fair to either do what Mojisola or rachbc said? Travel costs should be shared 50/50. And if not, then dock the travel off the extra that is paid.

Emmzi

isn't that about a 3 hour drive each way? So every fortnight child spends 6 hours in a car (on a good traffic day?) And you 12?

Seems unfair on the kid to me regardless of cost and you'll be knackered. I'd look at that one again.

srob030869

Thank you to everyone for your advice, I will offer her 50/50 and see what she says.

BitterAndTwisted

Please ensure that your child never hears of this discussion, especially from you. No child ever wants to realise that they're only having contact with their absent parent after they've been fighting tooth-and-nail about who's going to pay for it. Been there, done that. My youngest sister was the kid. Heartbreaker.

srob030869

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Please ensure that your child never hears of this discussion, especially from you. No child ever wants to realise that they're only having contact with their absent parent after they've been fighting tooth-and-nail about who's going to pay for it. Been there, done that. My youngest sister was the kid. Heartbreaker.

That wasn't the purpose of the thread, I would pay anything to see my daughter, I was just wondering what would be fair to counter offer as my wife was expecting more than full maintenance and me to take on all extra costs as well for her move and her affair.

RAS

I would advise her that if she intends moving that far away, you will deduct the extra travel costs from the maintenance (but not below the CSA limit).

In fact the CSA do reduce payments if there is a very high travel cost of contact, but not I think when the NRP moved away from the original home area.

You might want to ask on the Child Support sub-forum. There are a couple of people there who can quote chapter and verse.