Is anyone elses OH taking part of their paid maternity leave?

2522laura

Neither myself or my OH have ever claimed benefits, he doesnt even get his two carrier bags full a month of medication for free. As I said in my post I have worked very hard to pay for the things we have and that is exactly how it should be. I totally agree that the benefits shake up needs to happen, I was gob smacked to hear on the news the other day they are going to be cutting housing benefit for people that earn over £100k - what on earth is someone earning that much money doing living in social housing that us middle men have to pay for. Why should I work 3 jobs when some people dont bother at all because they know they will loose out if they go back to work but the whole point of working tax credit is that it is for working people, a benefit that is gained by generating tax and national insurance money.

One of the biggest housing problems in my opinion is people not being means tested often enough that are in social housing, I believe it should be used to help people out when they need it most, then as soon as they earn enough to buy or rent privately they should so others can use it till they get back on their feet again. They should never ever have been sold. An example I have is a friend of mine and her OH were very hard up, he was couch hopping, she got pregnant and they got a council place. Fast forward 7 years and another child later, they now earn about £10k a year more than me and my OH and are sending one of their children to a private school at a cost of £12k a year instead of buying their own house (which they had planned to do) How is this a good use of our tax money? I have many other friends in similar situations that can and do have children without needing to think about the financial implications. This is something we thought about for over a year before we finally decided to go for it because we knew how tight it would be if OH was off sick while I am on maternity leave but we have saved up and hopefully have enough put by in case he is off a lot.

2522laura

Amymo wrote: »

Hey Laura, just wanted to thank you for sharing your budget, OH and I are in the same position as you re my earnings being higher and we're about the same age/stage in life etc so it gives me something to compare to, I've been burying my head in the sand a bit to be honest as I've been nervous about how we will afford for me to be off so this has given me the impetus to take another look tonight!

Hi Amymo, It is a big worry isn't it. I have had to save a few thousand to cover my 6 months off but will have to go back full time after that, which to be honest I am gutted about. I would love to stay at home and bring our child up and I do worry I will miss out but things will never be different for us and as a female the older you get, the more risk to the pregnancy. I'm glad you have found it helpful. I probably have over estimated a few tings but better to over budget than under budget! x

Lotus-eater

2522laura wrote: »

but the whole point of working tax credit is that it is for working people, a benefit that is gained by generating tax and national insurance money.

No, the whole point of WTC was to prop up low wages and not let people realise the cost of houses and rents were getting out of reach by normal people.

That has worked perfectly, now we are in the mess, that people need unnecessary benefits to be able to live. Not a sustainable situation.

Good for you on the rest of your post.

I am a stay at home Dad btw, we survive mostly on my OH's wage. I on;y work a little bit.

2522laura

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I am a stay at home Dad btw, we survive mostly on my OH's wage. I on;y work a little bit.

How do you both find it? Is you OH happy enough and do you feel confortable being a stay at home Dad?

tea_lover

Nothing useful to add but just wanted to add that I'm following this one with interest too. We're TTC (although v unsuccessfully so far) and will hopefully be facing similar issues soon. I'm the higher earner, and also have far more benefits in terms of maternity leave, sick leave, etc. OH earns slightly less than me, and works for a very small company and would struggle to get even basic paternity leave.

We're still debating how the finances of it will work out (if it ever happens). We know we can manage, it's just the detail we haven't worked out yet!

It's interesting to see different ideas and thoughts about it all. Best of luck to you and your expanding family Laura! x

Gillyx

Me and my OH are paying £450 a month to rent a one bed flat, it doesn't even have separate living/kitchen, it's all in the one. We will never own this place. My OH works almost full time and is in his final year of quite an intense degree. Sadly I quit my job to move here before discovering I was pregnant, so I don't work, I don't claim any benefits although I am entitled to Maternity Allowance because I contributed enough tax & NI in my test period. We don't have a car because we couldn't afford to run one, we walk most places, and only recently have we started to pay for the bus as I'm struggling with the walks with being heavily pregnant. The only thing we really indulge on is our food shopping, as I want us both to have a healthy diet but even then we do shop around and try our best to spend as little as possible.

We've had a lot of help from parents when it comes to buying baby things, but it is a first grandchild for both our parents.

It is difficult and people who work are penalised, but I suppose it's about doing the best you can with the budget you have. If your OH was to become a stay at home Dad Laura, is there anyway you could survive with 1 car between you? Or would the fuel costs go down at all with him not working?

Lotus-eater

2522laura wrote: »

How do you both find it? Is you OH happy enough and do you feel confortable being a stay at home Dad?

We're both happy, but we are both secure in ourselves and what we are. I'm very comfortable in it, tbh I'd like to shock a few more people, but no one is shocked at all by it. it's quite boring.


The truth is that she would have wanted to stay at home instead of me, she loves kids, but it just couldn't work out that way for us.
She did do that when our DD was younger, but our circumstances changed.

2522laura

Thanks Tea lover. Hopefully if you get good work benefits you should be ok, most of our problem is that I work for a small company so can only get SMP and my OH take home - if he hasn't had any sick days - is around £850!!! I'm sure we will be ok, we are lucky in that we have family that can help out with child care for free. I would just prefer it if one os us were actually able to spend more than just evenings and weekend with our much longed for child :0)

All the best for your TTC, I'm sure you probably have looked already but I found the TTC thread invaluable when we were trying. I also found that using fertility friend to temp chart and conceive plus really helped x

2522laura

Gillyx wrote: »

Me and my OH are paying £450 a month to rent a one bed flat, it doesn't even have separate living/kitchen, it's all in the one. We will never own this place. My OH works almost full time and is in his final year of quite an intense degree. Sadly I quit my job to move here before discovering I was pregnant, so I don't work, I don't claim any benefits although I am entitled to Maternity Allowance because I contributed enough tax & NI in my test period. We don't have a car because we couldn't afford to run one, we walk most places, and only recently have we started to pay for the bus as I'm struggling with the walks with being heavily pregnant. The only thing we really indulge on is our food shopping, as I want us both to have a healthy diet but even then we do shop around and try our best to spend as little as possible.

We've had a lot of help from parents when it comes to buying baby things, but it is a first grandchild for both our parents.

It is difficult and people who work are penalised, but I suppose it's about doing the best you can with the budget you have. If your OH was to become a stay at home Dad Laura, is there anyway you could survive with 1 car between you? Or would the fuel costs go down at all with him not working?

I feel bad for moaning now Gillyx! Just get so stressed out by all the finances sometimes

I had only allowed £20 a month on fuel for the other car, we moved further away from the town we work to buy a cheaper house. There is talk of our offices moving while I am on leave but I have no idea where to!?

Gillyx

2522laura wrote: »

I feel bad for moaning now Gillyx! Just get so stressed out by all the finances sometimes

I had only allowed £20 a month on fuel for the other car, we moved further away from the town we work to buy a cheaper house. There is talk of our offices moving while I am on leave but I have no idea where to!?

It is hard, the thing that's worrying me is, all the types of jobs that my OH would be looking at when he graduates are all in England, it's a graduate wage so better than minimum but not great either, you're talking 25/26k a year, which would take us over the threshold for tax credits, we wouldn't have any family around so would have noone to help with child care and compared to here the rents etc are a lot higher.

In an ideal world I have to keep my fingers crossed that he could find a job here, as house prices have just fallen another 9% and are at about 54% of there 2007 value, so it is becoming more affordable to get onto the housing ladder. OH's Dad has kindly offered us a no interest loan so we could get a deposit for a house together, but from the looks of things, most mortgage lenders, wouldn't be too happy with this, as they want you to have saved the money yourself and it can't be "gifted"

His mum has also offered to go to a 4 day working week, aswell as working "school hours" which would hopefully enable me (if I can find one in this market :eek: ) to get a part time job.

It's all a bit up in the air at the moment anyway, I suppose we all just cope don't we?