Help for my son at school

troll35

My son (year 5) is very clever. The other day he excelled at a maths test getting a perfect score and doing 'far and away better than the other children' (his teachers words). Today his teacher has rung up because in a literacy test he sat there for 40 minutes and didn't write a word, the only child in the class to not put pen to paper, despite encouragement etc my son was adamant that he couldn't do it (wouldn't do it more like). He dislikes writing, full stop. He's very good at reading and comprehension type activities but anything which requires the use of imagination seems to completely throw him. His teacher is struggling to get him to actively take part in many areas of the curriculum. This term they are doing Space and the Solar system which everyone is enjoying and really enthusiastic about, apart from DS (and I would have expected it to be right up his street also). His teacher is trying lots of different tactics and is very good, but it seems that sometimes DS just becomes very stubborn...thinks he can't do something, so won't even try, however much you try to help and advise........and he's not a teenager yet:eek:

Does anyone have any suggestions of how we can get DS turned back on to school? I know we will have to talk to him about this test and that the upshot will be that he won't want to go to school tomorrow or the day after etc. I won't be telling him off, but we've got to find some way of getting him to attempt things he doesn't want to do at school. I don't want to resort to punishment or bribery in order to get him to do schoolwork either at I think that would be counter-productive.

I seem to have rambled and I may not have explained things very well, but all opinions welcomed.

kitchpoo

Hi.....
Say your son was writing a story tomorrow and you were forwarned what it was about, could you discuss ideas informally with him the night before? In such a way that would encourage him with the story...kind of extracting the ideas from him so he has the ideas ready for the next day??

Gingernutmeg

Have you considered maybe looking into whether your son needs assessing by an educational psychologist to see whether he has any issues that aren't being addressed by his school, such as very high intelligence or an undiagnosed learning difficulty?

A lot of children who are very bright can find writing really frustrating - your brain is racing ahead with ideas but you can't get your hands and fingers to keep up to get the ideas down on paper. Getting your son to practice handwriting at home might help, or even encouraging him to learn to type - you can type faster than you can write and some children find this helpful. Bright children too can have issues with perfectionism - if they think that they will get something wrong, then they won't even try to do it. It might be that your son has needs in this area that aren't being met, and need addressing, and obviously the sooner this is done the better, as he is unlikely to receive such sympathetic treatment at secondary school.

If your son is really having problems with imaginative activities, then it might be worthwhile getting him assessed to see whether he has some form of learning difficulty. A lot of children with Aspergers Syndrome, for example, can excel at activities that require straight logic but can really struggle with subjects that require imagination and empathy.

The problem with your son is that if he's percieved not to be even trying at school then he's unlikely to get the support he needs if he is very able. His high marks on the maths test should have made his teacher take notice that your son might have ability above the norm, but unfortunately in this country the provision for able children tends to be doled out (where it exists) on the basis of merit - a bright child who 'tries' is more worthy than one who won't. His class teacher sounds very good though, and it might be worthwhile making an appointment with her to discuss your son, and see what she thinks might be a logical next step for you.

andycarmi

I m I correct in he doesn't like creative or infomation writing?

Could it be because with Maths there is a right or wrong answer and with English there is less strutcher to him?

What about Mind Mapping? Helping DS to get all his ideas down on paper. How his organsational skills?

I would try and get the point across that not being the best at everything is ok and normal? Could he be feeling the pressure of he is so good at Maths that everyone in his eyes expects the same with his English? If he doesn't write he can't be judged!

bambam_2

Ditto what Gingernutmeg says. Don't let it slide, get a meeting set up and get him assessed. The sooner someone pinpoints the problem the sooner he'll get assistance. If it is purely writing he may have a motor problem that makes it difficult for him and an occupational therapist will be able to help. Get all the assessments going and do it now. The sooner you start pestering the school the better. My son is now 9 1/2 yrs old and we're still struggling with the school to get an accurate assessment and a learning plan in place. Looking back the signs were all there. Even reading his old class report now I can see what should have been picked up when he was 5.
Do not ever listen to a teacher who tells you that your child is perfectly capable but just chooses not to do things. There is always a reason don't stop till you find it.

Sorry - rant over I just wish I had questioned more earlier.

andyrules

It looks as if your son is a bit of a perfectionist and is afraid to fail, or for him to perceive he's failed, or not achieved perfectly! Very often children find imaginative writing the hardest, and teachers tend to 'share' ideas amonngst the class before they begin the task, so the less imaginative have an idea. However, if this was a test, they would have had little or no input first. (and I completely understand where he's coming from faced with a title and a blank sheet!!)

Does he like (or at least not dislike) information type writing? What are the other curriculum areas he balks at?

Boys often do find creative writing a challenge, this is an accepted fact in schools. I'm surprised what you said about the space though. Could it be that some other children have a good prior knowledge (boys often read up about space) and your DS feels a bit left behind? High fliers don't like to feel less than perfect.

If it's any consolation, much of the writing needed at secondary school is based around factual or comprehension type topics. My DS loathed writing and drawing and the amount of poetry/stories etc decorated with a pretty border that he had to do at primary made him hate it even more, but he settled down OK to the less creative writing at secondary.

I wouldn't entirely rule out bribery, especially if you can get across an empathy with him.

And yes, teenagers start early these days!!

HTH

Bossyboots

My daughter had this problem. She was in the top spelling group and doing very well. Until she had to write a story made up from her head. Weekends became a misery in our house because that was always creative writing homework. She simply could not get started or think it through.

In the end, I tried this -

We took her spelling words for the week and made them into a story. First we would take each word and think of a connection. So for example if she had the word electric we would add storm. Then we would build a story around an electric storm, incorporating the other words. Before setting off we would choose how it would end and then if there was anything particular that might happen in the story. It took quite a while but eventually we were able to move onto picking abstract words which almost always revolved around animals but by applying the same theory, she could produce a written story. Eventually, it became second nature and the problem went away and she cope with writing a story, although it was never her favourite thing.

She was able later on to apply the theory to other subjects to kick start writing up a history or RE assignment for example

Oldernotwiser

Perhaps your son might respond better to a more factual approach to learning about space and the planets. Creative writing can make putting pencil to paper easier for many children but the approach is obviously not working for him. Ask his teacher whether he can write something straightforward rather than imaginary. You may have a scientist in the making and imagination isn't everything.

Zoetoes

My son is the same, he's 13 now, he's never liked writing, he's good at maths and is at GCSE level C in design technology (he's in year 8), good at art, good at all pratical things basically, excellent at cricket etc aswell. His writing is quite scruffy to be honest. It's just the type of learner he is. He is a very calm person mostly, nice natured.

My other son who is 5 nearly 6 is very clever, top of his class at reading, spelling, maths etc likes writing and and being creative and imaginative. He is extremely hyperactive.

Some kids are oral learners, some visual, some practical.

troll35

Thankyou everyone, Andyrules and Andycarni - I think you have hit the nail on the head. He is a perfectionist and yes I think it is the lack of structure that often goes with creative writing that gives him problems. Often if he finds things difficult he just won't try (tieing shoelaces..can do it ..won't do it)

I went to see his teacher this afternoon. We had a chat and I brought the 'test' home. One sheet gives them the task 'Write an article for a magazine about meeting an alien' (there is a bit more than that but it does also say that it is a magazine article not a story). The second is a planning sheet is to help them develop their writing. It gives some ideas of what questions you would ask an alien etc set out as a mind map type thing.

I discussed it with DS, agreed we would do it in steps so that it wasn't as difficult...fine. A while later I got a sheet of paper and we brainstormed. Five words or phrases to describe the alien etc....brilliant, did that no problem. After tea I asked him to convert the words into sentences and suddenly he couldn't do it and got all sulky and 'kevin' like. Yet he's often had to convert random words into sentences. We used to play games like that with his spellings and other word/story games.

Aaargh, children can be so vexing

prettypennies

Hi there, I totally sympathise with you. I work with children aged five to seven and have come across problems similar to yours several times. Bright boys in particular tend to be perfectionists and can be very reluctant to commit pen to paper for fear of failiure. We employ a number of strategies aimed at encouraging reluctant writers.

Many boys prefer to use computers to write their work becuase they know they can delete it if they make a mistake.
This is not always a practical option in a school situation but can be used at home to help children plan and structure work.

Another option is providing a jotter which is not to be marked in any way by the adult. This allows the child to test out they ideas or even draw storyboards to plan their ideas. Many boys find it easier to plan their ideas in pictures rather than words.

We also allow reluctant writers to tape records their ideas to begin with rather than write them down.
One simple change is to provide soft lead pencils which can be easily rubbed out if a mistake is made.

I had a problem with my own son (8) getting him to practise his spellings.

He would become really tense and het up abput making a mistake so I decided to use a simpsons scrabble board. I would sort out the letters he need to spell a word and jumble them up. He had to put them in the right order and then place on the board where he could get the highest score. I extended it by jumbling two words together and he would have to sort them out and make the two words.
He really enjoyed trying to beat his previous scores. ( He's much more into numeracy and factual stuff the creative writing)

Boys tend to enjoy competitve and visual games so they can be a good way of gradually encouraging writing.

Several of the boys I have worked with who ar reluctant wirters have excelled in DT. They have been encouraged to build models out of various materials and used them as a basis for their creative writing)

Hope this helps