Concerns about hosting a party

emylou

Sorry this is quite long & I'm probably just worrying unnecessarily:

It's my birthday this week & after many years of trying to plan nights out with friends & only having a handful of mates show due to weather/cash flow/prior arrangements etc I am having a gathering at my rented flat instead. I've invited about 20 people but obviously not really expecting them all to turn up. I wanted a fancy dress theme but from what some people have said they are not dressing up anyway so I got rid of the "theme" & it's now just open fancy dress so hopefully this will make it easier for them. My worry is I have a small kitchen & living room so people wont be able to be in different rooms socialising etc. I'm a bit worried (I worry about EVERYTHING!) that people will be bored?! I have a wii or was thinking of maybe playing a game- family fortunes or a trivia kind of game in 2 teams to try to break the ice as some of my friends are from different groups and don't know each other. Once the game is played the wii can go on & just some music & people can chat? What do you think?
My younger sister has suggested some drink games & shots but I don't want to buy loads of alcohol that people wont drink & she's 19 & I'm not sure that's what my friends will be expecting? (Don't even know what I'm expecting?!) My OH was going to make cocktails but I'm worried about the cost & if they'll get drunk.
Any suggestions for games, cheap cocktails or anything? Beginning to wonder if this will be too much hassle?!

Nicki

How old are your friends and what are their interests? What kind of things do you tend to do when you socialise with them?

There isn't a huge amount of point doing drinking games if half of them will be driving home afterwards or having to get up early with kids, as they won't be able to join in and feel uncomfortable. On the other hand if you are all young and usually socialise down the pub, then a drinking game is a great idea.

Similarly, if you met some of them at the local book club and others at a bridge party, they might feel silly or self conscious playing on the wii, whereas if they are sporty, or like karaoke or nightclubs a cheesy dance game on the wii could be a great ice breaker.

20 people isn't a huge number to entertain, and you'll probably find people break off into little groups of 4 or 5, which intermingle, and you'll be running round like a mad !!! fly, and by the end feel you didnt spend time with any of them! You need to look out for guests who don't know anyone else there and make sure they are properly introduced into groups (ie not just their name, but say something about them which they have in common with the people you are introducing them to and vice versa) but if most of your guests will know at least some of the others, I think you'll be surprised at how quickly the ice is broken and people start to have fun.

As for drinks, again it depends on what you like, but in my experience keeping it simple is easiest, so that people can help themselves to what they want without you having to be constantly mixing drinks for them. We tend to lay out beer, red and white wine and a large range of soft drinks on a table with plastic glasses and bottle openers, get them their first one and make clear they are to help themselves after that, which works well.

Most of all, relax and enjoy it! And happy birthday.

pattycake

Why don't you run a quiz? You can easily get say 25 general knowledge questions from the internet. Do not make it too difficult as it should be fun. You can then split your guests up into teams. Always divide couples - I find that saves arguments! Also, it gives people a chance to get know other guests. Give everyone a sheet of paper and a pen. They write their answers down and at the end swap papers and mark each others.

I have done this lots of times at my parties but I must admit, around a dozen is the most I have entertained at home. It always goes down well and everyone is laughing and joking by the end. I stress, make the questions fun not like an exam.

My friends always bring a bottle or a supply of what they like to drink. As the previous poster says, get in beer, red and white wine plus some soft drinks. Lots of nibbles in bowls round the room. I always then lay on some food for after my quiz.

MrsManda

I understand, I get stressed far too easily about having groups visiting. My OH tells me I'm being silly and is pretty much always right

We usually buy some beer and soft drinks and generally have some spirits in the house. Crisps/nibbles in bowls if it's an evening do or if we're expecting people earlier I usually do a large pan of chilli, some rice and nachos. Put some music on and tell people to help themselves.

I don't generally plan anything else, though depending on the atmosphere we may end up playing board games or watching a film.
Remember they're your friends, they're coming to see you and celebrate your birthday - they're not scary people who are being made to visit. Enjoy your birthday.

January20

I was just going to suggest a quiz! What about a quiz based on things that happened the year you were born? Or with a few questions related to you?

I wouldn't bother with drinking games unless your friends are teenagers lol! And I wouldn't bother with cocktails either, unless all the guests were to arrive at the same time and have the same pre-prepared cocktail, as it's fiddly and costly to do those.

Make sure you introduce people to one another so there aren't any cliques. I hate those party where you have all the people from say the "aerobic class" together, and then the "family", or "school friends".

Bogof_Babe

Don't forget to warn (or invite) the other residents in your block/house as 20 people will probably make quite a lot of noise as the evening goes on and the booze goes down!

I'd forget the fancy dress personally. Yes people get a laugh as everyone arrives, but then they have to sit around feeling like a pr.at for the rest of the evening, or be uncomfortable in what they are wearing.

Most people going to a party expect to be fed, so I'd think about more than just crisps/nibbles. Also if you are providing booze in any quantity it will help with "digestion" lol.

Peater

Keep it simple, some low music let people natter.

Games always seem like 'forced fun' to me and makes me rather uncomfortable. Nothing worse than a party with a schedule of events!

Judith_W

Don't know if its too late but I would just say BYOB and I'll do nibbles. I think with music and wii would be fine, only do a game if the friends are into that sort of thing and sound keen. Also, do you know anyone with the karoke/ guitar hero type wii games, that always goes down well at our parties.

Mrs_Optimist

We usually host 3 parties a year, BBQ at end of July, Halloween and New Years Eve. I wouldn't expect any of my guests to turn up without bringing what they were intending to be drinking. I always provide nibbles, mixers and a spare bottle of red, white and rose wine. We usually have vodka and gin in the house anyway but never seem to have to dip into it, at our parties as our guests usually bring ample and we usually have plenty left over - which we keep back for the next party so we have a "running supply". We have a varied guest list in terms of age ranges. We usually play some background music, and just mingle. Don't spend a fortune on food as my experience is that it will be wasted. Keep any breakables out of the way and cater for those that won't be drinking too - ie mixers. Keep it simple and above all relax and enjoy it, there is nothing worse than going to a party where the host is a nervous wreck and not enjoying themselves. Hope it all goes well for you.

Mayflower10cat

I've noted so many times over the years that guests inevitably end up talking in the kitchen! They don't even care if they're squashed in. I'd suggest setting up a games console in another room and pretty much letting people play if they want to. Why not have one daft game all together to break the ice? Dim the lights slightly, buy a few bags of frozen party food from Iceland or similar and whack them in the oven, and don't panic, it'll be great. Most guests will bring a bottle or two anyway, so if our parties are anything to go by, you'll end up with bottles left over. So, as decent Cava is so relatively cheap, buy some Fizz to serve first (always looks impressive) then move onto cheaper drinks as by then, people will have had a few and won't appreciate anything expensive served later on.

We went to a really great party the first summer we moved here and our NZ neighbour held a massive ''hangi' is it spelled? (It's like a barbeque, cooked in a pit.) He'd invited a real mix of guests, most didn't know each other. But his little twist on this was, big sticky name badges on which you wrote your name and then you had to answer the question 'Ask me about........?!' There were some very funny comments and for the first hour we all wandered round giggling and asking about such diverse subjects as 'Teeth', 'Cats', 'Ukraine', 'Vodka' and 'Caviar'..... One of the best parties ever.

brightonman123

music, drinks, some silly games - all good!