Keeping up appearances.......

chevalier

Glad to hear that things aren't as bleak as you thought. The best bit about having tackled the debt is that you DO have those options. Ie you can use that pension draw down to live on or whatever, NOT to have to pay off debt.

I am sure it will sort itself out. In the mean time is there anything that you can sell to help out? Can OH set up any listings for you? Also he could enrol in survey sites too. Being male, he will qualify for a lot of surveys, as they need the same number of males and females..
chev

HappyNow

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Sorry Happy I think I missed something about horses. You don't have them any more?

Sadly they were both put to sleep on 8th April. She was 29 and on painkillers for arthritis. He was 23 and on-off lame since 2012 after a linked abscess & laminitis episode. He had pedal rotation but the pain was controlled by front shoes with gel pads, plus daily painkillers. We knew it wouldn't work forever. A few months ago we doubled his painkillers and hoped he'd have another summer. Meanwhile, she started struggling to get up after rolling. On 4th April she got down and gave in. It took three of us to get her up and we knew it was time. With the vet, we decided it would be kinder to let them both go together - they were very bonded and he couldn't have coped without her. It was probably the worst day of my life, but they just went to sleep next to each other in the field, completely unaware, eating their favourite foods while we held them.


Now the place seems ridiculously big and empty

HappyNow

chevalier wrote: »

Glad to hear that things aren't as bleak as you thought. The best bit about having tackled the debt is that you DO have those options. Ie you can use that pension draw down to live on or whatever, NOT to have to pay off debt.

I am sure it will sort itself out. In the mean time is there anything that you can sell to help out? Can OH set up any listings for you? Also he could enrol in survey sites too. Being male, he will qualify for a lot of surveys, as they need the same number of males and females..
chev

Yes, medium and long term our prospects are OK, it's just a shortish-term struggle now.

He is clearing out the sheds and stables now ready for a big ebaying. Not sure how he would feel about doing surveys though - I will mention it to him. Maybe he would be happy to sit there answering the questions if I did the typing. He is doing lots of repair and maintenance stuff round the house that we never had time for so I am seeing a benefit to having him here, but I would definitely prefer a wage

Dolphin1

HappyNow wrote: »

Apologies for the absence, I've been wary of having my cover blown. I'm probably being paranoid, but our new high-speed internet was finally installed last week, hosted by a local company - the owner of which is a close neighbour. They said they'd monitor its performance for a few days to check speeds and reliability, and I'm not sure just what they can see. Hence I've been keeping my head down as I would hate all the neighbours to know how broke we are . Anyway, it has passed all its tests so I'll assume I'm anonymous. I now have to find £180 to pay for it. Great timing :cool: To be fair, I've been expecting it for months so I should have had the money saved, but I haven't.

So while I've been away, I have been mainly eating chocolate which I have bought even though I can't afford it. And ignoring my manky feet. And not inputting calories into my Fitbit. But NOT spending money - for the simple reason that we don't have any!

Mr H is still not working. He signed on for JSA last week but it takes three weeks to get paid, and there's no sign of the redundancy so far. We're managing though and it's only temporary. Today, instead of listing my May failures, I have decided to list reasons why I'm not panicking about money:

• We can juuuust cover the bills from my wage and the rental income. Not having horses makes such a difference. I'd still rather have them though.
• Mr H will hopefully get a job soon. July time would be great.
• There is redundancy and payment in lieu to come
• He is so much less stressed now and that makes life more relaxed
• I have posted for advice on the Pensions board and got some thought-provoking answers. We do have options.
• If we sold the rental house, we would have nearly enough to pay all our debts including the mortgage. We're not going to because we have a lovely tenant there who is looking after the place and paying promptly. We will possibly sell it when she eventually moves out, but there's no rush and I have no intention of making her homeless.
• If (big if) absolutely necessary, we could draw down on Mr H's private pensions. Through pure fluke and absolutely no management whatsoever, he has accrued private pensions of around £100K. We had no idea until one of the company reps knocked on our door to talk to us about it. They are theoretically there to cover the gap between us retiring/reducing work hours and our state pensions and my work pension paying out, but in an emergency, they're there.
• Last resort - we could downsize the house. I don't want to though and I doubt very much it will come to that.

It's a funny old world. Progress since Dec 2011 has seemed so slow and I've not paid even half the debt off. But slowly, slowly things have moved on while I wasn't looking and our finances are nowhere near as bleak as they were four years ago. So why can I still not shake that uneasy feeling?? Habit maybe?

Honey - hope Kelpie is improving and you are managing to leave that lovely brown stuff alone.
Dolphin - go on, share! Which bar have you fallen in love with? I'm back on twirls right now, but open to suggestions

The uneasy feeling will be coming from the fear of uncertainty as you just don't know which way things will go but just remember that no matter what happens you will cope and you have lots of options open to you. Unfortunately you will drive yourself crazy if you try and plan for every potential outcome so maybe just try and concentrate on the stuff you can control for now.

The chocolate bar I am loving at the moment is just the Milk Chocolate one from M&S but it's a bit pricey so I am going to have to curb my craving. It is just so melt in the mouth delicious though! :EasterBun

Dolphin1

Honey_Bear wrote: »

The trick, I've discovered, is not to start eating it. As Happy said, the more I have, the more I want.

It's definitely easier said than done though, isn't it?

Honey_Bear

HappyNow wrote: »

Yes, medium and long term our prospects are OK, it's just a shortish-term struggle now.

He is clearing out the sheds and stables now ready for a big ebaying. Not sure how he would feel about doing surveys though - I will mention it to him. Maybe he would be happy to sit there answering the questions if I did the typing. He is doing lots of repair and maintenance stuff round the house that we never had time for so I am seeing a benefit to having him here, but I would definitely prefer a wage

Imagine how precarious things would be if you hadn't acted on your lightbulb moment five years ago. That thought just makes me think :eek:. Your financial situation would be the envy of many - yes, short term it feels precarious but as you say, medium and long term you're safe in the knowledge that you're going to be fine, largely because of the work you've put in.

So, while you can't do anything to magic him into another wage-packet type job, I strongly suggest you sharpen a pencil and compile a Mr Happy 'Toots List' (see here for definition, Point 15) so that you can have the house of your dreams. Don't want him getting all morose and depressed because he's unemployed, do we?

Knowing that you could, at a pinch, sell the tenanted house has to be the thing that will get you through, surely? It doesn't mean you have to, it doesn't mean you will, but knowing you could means there's no reason to panic right now.

The pension thing - wow! I've just turned 60 and initially found filling in the paperwork for the occupational pensions I'd paid into over the years really onerous. Then I decided as they all wanted to give me money now - maybe not so onerous after all. I had to lot to learn really quickly about each one because they were all different and I won't get my state pension until I'm 66, but a little bit trickling in now is ... rather nice. But my pot wasn't worth anything like Mr Happy's. So, tell me, Mrs Happy, what was it that first attracted you to Mr Financially-Well-Cushioned-Eventually Happy?

Honey_Bear

Yesterday would have been sugar-free if my good friend and neighbour hadn't needed to know she would be coming here for tea or coffee after a tricky appointment, and arrived with a packet of caramel digestives. Even though they were horribly disappointing, as in nowhere near sweet enough, I managed to polish off at least four. Well, I say four, I just stopped counting.

And now, today, because I had that yesterday, I've polished off an extremely large handful of Twinks (as in a baseball mitt's worth), followed by a tube of fruit pastilles. *sigh*

So yes, Dolphin, the trick is ... not to start. Fail.

joeyjimbles

Now ladies, if we had all the tricks and the mastery of them then we probably wouldn't be on here, nor would we be human and nice people to know. Sugar is a difficult one to give up, isn't it? Even to a committed savoury person like myself, I struggle to give up fruit pastilles, sports gums etc. And I can't resist good biscuits or cake - I do find it best just to avoid it but given I bake a great deal, its not that easy.

First lot of exams are over - another week of revision til the next ones, and then there is a little light relief with half-term before the next and final tranche. I swear if I'd realised what a participation sport it all was I wouldn't have encouraged academia at all! To say nothing of the toll on electricity, tea, coffee, biscuits and anything-edible-that-is-not-nailed-down.

HappyNow

Honey_Bear wrote: »

Caramel digestives. Even though they were horribly disappointing, as in nowhere near sweet enough, I managed to polish off at least four. Well, I say four, I just stopped counting. :D:rotfl:

And now, today, because I had that yesterday, I've polished off an extremely large handful of Twinks (as in a baseball mitt's worth), followed by a tube of fruit pastilles. *sigh*

So yes, Dolphin, the trick is ... not to start. Fail.

Now I don't want to make a bad situation worse, but HAVE YOU TRIED MR KIPLING'S TRIFLE BAKEWELLS??? They are everything doctors warn us about and more. I heart them. They're half price at Tossco right now, which obviously means I have to buy and eat four times the human amount. I cba to read the packet, but I estimate they are 90% sugar and 10% E numbers and they make the world so RIGHT. Also they have yellow icing. And they don't contain chocolate so they're probably good for us.

Dolphin1 wrote: »

It's definitely easier said than done though, isn't it?

Yes. Funnily enough, although I have no money, I do have £38.46 of M & S vouchers! My parents always give me (and Mr H, but he doesn't know) M & S vouchers for Christmas and I intended saving them for holiday knickers. However if you really think I should, I'm prepared to spend some of them on chocolate. That's tomorrow lunchtime's walk sorted......

HappyNow

joeyjimbles wrote: »

First lot of exams are over - another week of revision til the next ones, and then there is a little light relief with half-term before the next and final tranche. I swear if I'd realised what a participation sport it all was I wouldn't have encouraged academia at all! To say nothing of the toll on electricity, tea, coffee, biscuits and anything-edible-that-is-not-nailed-down.

When I was at school my parents kept right out of it! Things have definitely changed. With my kids, I was as stressed by exams and coursework as they were, and I could probably have scraped a reasonable pass on several GCSEs and A Levels with all the revision I did. Maybe even 2:2 degree! Even now with the youngest aged 23 , I still get dragged into essay checking and proof reading and she's about to qualify as a teacher. Sorry if you were hoping to hear it gets easier .