Keeping up appearances.......

Honey_Bear

HappyNow wrote: »

Thanks for the good wishes, and Happy New Year to all! Mr Happy has finally b*ggered off for the day (a race meeting, but for fun and unpaid) so I have a bit of time to myself.

Good to know Mr Happy still knows how to enjoy the important things in life. Did he take enough pocket money with him to treat himself to a bacon butty?

29th December was the 4th anniversary of this diary and therefore my LBM, so I feel a bit reflective. Things I have learned since Dec 2011, in no particular order:

• Building up debt is just about the only regret in my life, so that's not bad

Oh how I wish there were only one thing I regretted. Great going to be able to say that.

• This debt doesn't make me a bad person (just a bit stupid in my younger days!)

It's called learning from our mistakes. I think it's supposed to teach us a little humility, or sumfink like that.

• I don't need a lot of money to be happy

No, we don't, but hyper-capitalism is desperate to persuade us that we do.

• My monthly budget has to be realistic, and also fluid, because it's long-term and things happen

Living on lentils and turning the central heating off until the debts are busted is fine for people who want to do that, but for most of us the change of sticking to such a tight regime isn't bearable. Realistic means that we are allowed, and indeed should, reward ourselves when we've achieved a landmark. Four years is quite a landmark, and you've had others: 10%, 20%, 30%, 40% and a whole load of others.

• Debt-busting doesn't involve misery

Learning that we can't have everything we want in life isn't actually the worst thing that can happen to a person, is it?

• Debt-busting does involve change

Very true. I admire anyone who is courageous enough to start making changes in their lives. It's a toughie a lot of people are too frightened of to make progress. It's worth it, but it can be uncomfortable to begin with.

• Debt-busting can become all-consuming, I need to keep a sense of proportion sometimes

It's all about learning, isn't it? You're learning how to live life in a different way and if we got everything right first time we wouldn't actually learn anything at all, ever. That's not progress, or change.

• On a long-term journey like mine, it's important not to put life 'on hold' for the duration - we must remember to have some fun, even if it costs a bit

Those are the rewards we're allowed. Parsimonious people aren't really about money, they're about avoiding joy. You seem to be more than 'pretty good' at sharing the fun and the good times.

• It's not forever. There will be spare money one day soon

There will and it will feel all the more real because you know you're not borrowing it from your future.

• I will never, ever, live beyond my means again and I am instilling this in my children

Lesson learned, then. I really feel for your children's generation because whichever way they turn it seems they're going to be saddled with huge debts if they want any higher education or to buy their own house. For a huge chunk of that generation, what's the point in trying to rein in spending when they're already so deeply in debt that paying it off seems unrealistic.

Over four years I have paid off £29,000. The reduction rate is gathering momentum as time passes, partly because the interest reduces as the balance does, and partly because I'm better at it. It's not because we have had increased income - Mr H's wage rises have just kept up with inflation and I have had pay reductions, no rises at all.

That's a heck of an achievement, Happy. I wonder what you'd have left of that money if you'd spent it and carried on as you were four years ago.

I've taken to graphing everything so that I can see what the figures look like, rather than just trying to get my head around what they mean. It's also been really helpful in identifying patterns of expenditure - there are months when I can stick to really tight limits and months of the year when it seems I always go stupid. Forewarned is forearmed, as they say.

This diary and the wonderful people who help by posting and cheering me on have made such a difference to my life, so thanks to each and every one of you xx

You're an absolute inspiration, Happy, and if contributing has helped you, I can assure you that it's not all one-sided.

Rah, rah - go Happy!

HappyNow

Dolphin1 wrote: »

Fantastic post Mrs HappyNow, you will have the debt licked in no time but you are right not to put your life on hold in the meantime.

Thanks Dolphin. Not sure about the 'no time' bit, but it WILL be licked!

FlacosFloozie wrote: »

Just popped on to wish you a Happy New Year, Happy! I'd like to say what a fantastic post and so true- not just about getting debt free but about staying that way too. £29k in 4 years is really impressive and it will snowball as the intrest reduces. All the best for 2016 :beer:.

Lovely to see you FF. I have stalked you all the way to your diary, which I didn't know existed until today! Good going

brizzledfw

Love the recent posts Happy. You're doing fantastically.

So sorry re the floods, so glad you escaped but devastated for everyone else affected

PinotGrigio41

Just caught up your most recent posts Mrs Happy, a belated Happy New Year to you and your lovely family.

You have done amazingly well , as you already know ! Heres to the next few years, although I drift in and out of the diaries, its been good to share these last four years with you ! x :beer:

HappyNow

Honey_Bear wrote: »

You're an absolute inspiration, Happy, and if contributing has helped you, I can assure you that it's not all one-sided.

Rah, rah - go Happy!

Honey - the forum for some reason won't let me quote your quoted bits, but just to comment on a couple.

• Mr H had TWO bacon sarnies on race day! And two cans of fizzy pop and three coffees. Obviously not big on the New Year resolutions.
• OK, I could probably come up with a few more life-regrets if I thought about it, but none that scream at me every day like the debt!
• I have definitely learned from my mistakes and will never borrow again, although the debts will probably rise a bit on payday because of the last hell-month and because of the holiday we have just booked, which luckily is covered by your 'rewards you're allowed' comment ! See below.
• I'm useless with graphs or charts or anything like that, but I do love to chart percentages! Whatever works for individuals, eh.
• I am thrilled if you have also gained from posting here - and Fab Feb '16 is just 25 days away!

HappyNow

Brizzle and Pinot :j. Lovely to see you both, it's like an old-timers reunion! I've noticed Kerri and FF are both around too. My next treat is to spend a few hours just cruising the boards and catching up with everyone. I've got to work now, but sooooon.....

Honey_Bear

HappyNow wrote: »

Honey - the forum for some reason won't let me quote your quoted bits, but just to comment on a couple.

• Mr H had TWO bacon sarnies on race day! And two cans of fizzy pop and three coffees. Obviously not big on the New Year resolutions.

And who didn't see that coming? Good on him, because I'm sure the hell December was just as tough for him, and he probably needed to feel that the great things in life are still out there. To be honest, if a man's content with a couple of bacon sarnis, pop and coffee he sounds like a pretty good one to me.

• OK, I could probably come up with a few more life-regrets if I thought about it, but none that scream at me every day like the debt!

Why focus on the bad stuff? One's enough.

• I have definitely learned from my mistakes and will never borrow again, although the debts will probably rise a bit on payday because of the last hell-month and because of the holiday we have just booked, which luckily is covered by your 'rewards you're allowed' comment ! See below.

Something to look forward to, then. Very important. And Rewardy, too, so good all round.

• I'm useless with graphs or charts or anything like that, but I do love to chart percentages! Whatever works for individuals, eh.
• I am thrilled if you have also gained from posting here - and Fab Feb '16 is just 25 days away!

Good. I can't say I'm keen on the idea of adding a few toughen-up targets just yet, and it's OH's birthday today so the festivities have continued here. Fab Feb '16 sounds about right, if I might be allowed to join you.

I seem to remember someone has a birthday around now, although I may be a bit late. If so, happy birthday.

brizzledfw

HappyNow wrote: »

Brizzle and Pinot :j. Lovely to see you both, it's like an old-timers reunion! I've noticed Kerri and FF are both around too. My next treat is to spend a few hours just cruising the boards and catching up with everyone. I've got to work now, but sooooon.....

Yep..we are officially getting the band back together:D:T:T

FlacosFloozie

The Fab Feb reunion tour :rotfl:?

HappyNow

Honey_Bear wrote: »

Good. I can't say I'm keen on the idea of adding a few toughen-up targets just yet, and it's OH's birthday today so the festivities have continued here. Fab Feb '16 sounds about right, if I might be allowed to join you.

I seem to remember someone has a birthday around now, although I may be a bit late. If so, happy birthday.

Thanks, my birthday was Tuesday and it was horrible (though with a happy ending). I had to have the vet to our oldest horse, who had twice over the holidays laid down to roll in the field then not been able to get up again. We managed to help her up both times, but that usually signifies the end, because it's kinder to do a planned PTS than risk them having a horrible end, thrashing about and distressed in the mud. So I expected the worst all day, and even rang round looking for a new loan companion for our other horse so he wasn't too upset at being kept alone (horses generally hate that). But when the vet examined her, she found that her hip joints were inflamed, making it hard for her to power herself up from the floor. She thought it was repairable, so the horse is now on anti-inflammatories/painkillers, and hopefully will keep going a while longer. Please keep all fingers and toes crossed for her. And me, when the bill comes

I am looking forward to Fab Feb '16 and would love your company HB (and Dolphin, JJ and anyone else who is passing). I have already started tidying away ( ) all the Christmas chocolate/wine residue in readiness. Last year I went into March feeling better than I have for years, so I'm after the same again.