Need help with likely settlement please

Errata

sosad1968 wrote: »

II made it clear on my original post that I do not want to fleece him.

You want tp walk away with £250k in property - that's a quarter of a million quid if you're hard of thinking - and he walks away with zilch?
You won't be fleecing him , you want to strip him to the bare bones. His solicitor will have an awful lot to say about that!.

clearingout

I think a lot depends on just how big his pension pot is, doesn't it?

What about your future earnings? How old are you? Presumably you now work part-time? Apart from the obvious (recession, thousands out of work), what is stopping you from going full-time? What did you do prior to having children? Can you update your qualifications and/or re-train?

kingfisherblue

I doubt if you could pay off the mortgage with joint savings and then keep the house as well - even though your husband earns decent money, it wouldn't be fair. He can't touch his pension pot yet, and will need somewhere to live in the future.

The usual situation is either that the house is sold and proceeds are split, or that the parent with care lives in the marital home with the children until the end of term following the youngest child's 18th birthday. My situation was slightly different, as I have the house for many years longer. However, I have a severely disabled child who will never live independently andd who will always need to be cared for. Otherwise, our house would have been sold when my youngest is 18.

Even allowing for future earning potential and for the pension pot, I think you are being greedy to want the house and all the savings. You need to consider your husband's entitlement too.

adelight

What does your DH make of that suggestion? You can't simply kick him out with nothing, also remember that you will get a lot more TC and 20% of his earnings so you will probably be able to manage the remaining mortgage okay alone. How old are your children?
About 10 years ago my aunt actually got the deal you suggest, and the house she kept was actually the one her ex grew up in, cared for his mother in and was ultimately left to him by his mother and renovated by him(the work he did cost as much as a small house, it was very run down). He was left completely broke and with no surviving family of his own he had no financial or emotional support, she even did her best to shut him off from her large family that he'd got very close to. His business started to fail as he was so stressed and depressed, he ended up in a bedsit and then hostel so the kids couldn't stay over, he still hasn't fully recovered and will likely never own a house or have another partner. I know this is a worst case scenario and hopefully your DH has a more stable job and support network, but do remember that just because the kids won't live with your DH doesn't mean he should be left to fend for himself without a penny. Imagine how hard it will be to not live with your kids anymore and start from scratch, wouldn't the instability of no longer owning a home or having any savings make it even worse? Of course I do not know the reasons for your divorce but remember to put yourself in his shoes so you don't leave him with a totally bleak future.

jakem_2

sosad1968 wrote: »

I certainly don't want him to "live in a cardboard box"!!!!. I made it clear on my original post that I do not want to fleece him.

Were I to keep the house, he would have his future earnings and his pension pot.

Does anyone else have any views on whether this is fair, legal, reasonable?

I have just done similar with my ex, we have no kids, but I keep the house, an he keeps his pension, his half share in another house he co owns, he also has a share in a business, I dont or have not received a penny from him since we split.
I have to sell the house anyway as cannot afford to take on the mortgage, so I keep the proceeds and allows me to buy a smaller property, and whatever is left if there is any after paying out estate agent fees solicitors fees etc .

Like you I didnt want to fleece him as even though we split up he is not a bad man and we get on far better now, so didnt want to go down the other route.

msb5262

sosad1968 wrote: »

Still mulling over splitting from dh. Don't want to go into reasons. What I really need is help with practicalities!

I have no idea what is seen as a fair settlement. I certainly don't want to fleece dh, but do want an outcome which keeps me and 2 kids safe.

We own a house worth about £250k, with about £50k mortgage still on it. I was thinking of the following: Pay off the o/s mortgage with our £50k savings. This leaves no savings left for either of us. He earns well (about £2700 net per month) so can afford to rent or start mortgage on a new property. I earn about £450 per month net. I keep the house and make no claim on his pension.

I imagine I would qualify for tax credits ( no idea how much though) and though I might be able to manage on that and my pay? Would I also be entitled to maintenance or would that be unreasonable given the fact that I will walk away with all our equity / assets?

I would appreciate people's opinions. Please be kind though...
T. x

Hello OP,

When my marriage ended, we went to mediation to agree what the consent order should say (this is the proposed agreement which must be approved by the judge in a divorce).
I'd strongly advise that you and your OH do the same - mediation can cost but it's way cheaper than doing it all through solicitors. We had been married 14 years and had 3 children.
I earned about £800 a month at that time, he earned a lot more. We finally came up with the following:
I got 66% of the house, he got 34%.
I made no claim on his pension.
He pays child support at CSA rate (25% of take home pay for 3 children).
I claim no maintenance for myself, having always felt that I can maintain myself!

This agreement was regarded at the time as pretty generous on his part (i.e. I had done well from it) so I'd be very surprised if your proposed solution would get past solicitors - it leaves your ex with nothing, when he has worked and paid towards the house and the family all along.
Also, you need your ex to have somewhere to live and to take the children when he sees them...it will be a home to them too.

It's really important to try to meet in the middle.

HTH

Good luck with it all and don't rush into anything.

MsB

GobbledyGook

Really it's too much to work out without help. Do you have other assets? Stocks and shares for example. Do you have a pension also? Is your earning capacity what it is because of your skills and abilities or has it been limited because of his career for example? You'll have to get advice for your specific circumstances.

I've had, what some on here (and IRL) think is an overly generous settlement. I have kept our house and a small flat left to me by my grandparents plus generous maintenance for both myself and the children for longer than some thought/think necessary. To the outside my ex has walked away with nothing other than the rest of his wages and his pension. However my situation was decided by the fact that I left university to move with him (and marry him) when he was offered his dream job. I gave up a career for a very low paid job to care for our children because his job entails long and changeable hours and frequent trips away. Part of the reason my settlement is so generous is that once my youngest is at school I'm hoping to go back to university to train/re-train to give me a chance to catch up on some earning potential before the spousal maintenance stops. I'm also lucky in that my ex husband has fully recognised the help I gave him for his career and doesn't think that the impact on me job wise is solely my problem now we've split (although that took some time). Also it is impacted by the fact that my ex can still comfortably afford another home for himself despite the settlement.

Get some advice. Make sure you are aware of what the minimum you are entitled to is and start from there. Also bear in mind that if splitting is a shock to him he might be very bitter for a while. Also be aware of any rottweiler style lawyers who may cause more trouble than they actually help.

sassyblue

Errata wrote: »

You want tp walk away with £250k in property - that's a quarter of a million quid if you're hard of thinking - and he walks away with zilch?
You won't be fleecing him , you want to strip him to the bare bones. His solicitor will have an awful lot to say about that!.

And don't forget some of his monthly wages for the childrens maintenance. Poor man!

persa

sosad1968 wrote: »

Are you saying that, in law, he would have to have half the house? I was hoping to keep the house but offset this against his future earnings (much more than mine) and his pension.

Out of the three things you've identified (house, future earnings, pension pot), the only certainty is the house. It's somewhere you can live, it's something that can be converted into cash reasonably easily - whereas future earnings can plummet in a heartbeat (can lose professional qualification, can be injured, can change careers, etc) and a pension pot is only good to you if you reach pensionable age and can thus take out from it. It's not really fair for one party to keep the whole of the house unless it was a really short marriage and that party paid for everything.

Assuming your (soon to be ex) OH paid you the going CSA %, could you afford to stay in the house? If not, it's an easy decision to sell up and split the money.

Would your children definitely stay with you? Is your OH likely to apply for custody (and be successful)? Are they old enough to choose whether they would rather live with mummy or daddy?

And for the wildcard thought... Could you live in the same house as your OH, once separated? Or would it be too difficult for one (or both) of you?

Caz3121

If you are intent on staying in the property whilst the children are under 18, maybe speak to your solicitor about a mesher order. You can agree the % split now then you take over responsibility for the mortgage payments etc till youngest is 18 then you either take your own mortgage to give your ex his share or the house is sold. This will give you time to increase your earnings as the children get older (I am assuming that you work part time as they are very young/pre-school)