:( Christmas health and safety, important, please read

heretolearn_2

All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way, are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks.

The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last years well-publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr R Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent instance of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.

jools27_2

LOL! I like it :snow_laug

spidereyes

haha love it!

Have to say it reminds of a particular person from work, everything has a massive list of rules - including the secret santa!

motherofstudents

Ha ha, funny !

adea

:rotfl:very good heretolearn!

kitty_cat_2

made me chuckle :rotfl:

Owain_Moneysaver

And here's the real thing:

http://www.liv.ac.uk/safety/Hazard_A_to_Z/Event_safety/Christmas_Decorations.htm

Owain_Moneysaver

I've retyped it in "Keep Calm" poster format. PDF LINK (requires an email to receive the download link)

Padstow

heretolearn wrote: »

All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way, are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks.

The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last years well-publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr R Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent instance of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.

Here we go again, the same old re-hash every year.
Copy and paste!

pinkduvetdiva

heretolearn wrote: »

All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way, are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks.

The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last years well-publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr R Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent instance of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.

Addendum: Any angels found singing about a new king being born today may be served with a noise abatement notice, if the relevant local authority are satisfied that a noise problem amounts to a statutory nuisance.

chrissie57

Padstow wrote: »

Here we go again, the same old re-hash every year.
Copy and paste!

And a very Merry Christmas to you, Ebenezer:p