Financial "end of engagement" woes

Bravehearted_2

I sympathise with you, but as others have said, best thing is to just move on.

How much do you genuinely think he should give you?

FireWyrm

Oh dear, I'll add my condolences to you. Unfortunately, even if you managed to get this through the small claims court, you will spend money recovering assets which are worth nothing in reality. Anything under a thousand isn't worth recovering and you're better off just chalking this one up to experience and moving on. I'm sorry to say this, but realistically and practically speaking, you will not recover anything like what you have put in here and dwelling on it's loss isn't doing you any good. I know it would make your life easier, but he obviously has no intention of doing so. Sadly, this is the way in a relationship breakdown and you're on a hiding to nothing pursuing this legally. Just walk away and be careful next time. Concentrate on getting yourself out of your financial difficulty and in a year you won't even be able to recall his face.

sharronej

You clearly have a good friend and although you say you think you must be driving her mad I'm sure that's not the case however I bet she'd be delighted if you were able to move on from the episode, treat your ex with the derision he deserves and start focusing on your future. Spend a couple of hours gathering together information and then post your SOA so that we can help you move on financially at least. In reality a bit of furniture is not going to make that big a difference to you debt free future, just think how much better your Christmas will be if you have managed to make the decision to leave him in the past.

I wish you the very best of luck (from a fellow Oldhamer)

north_star

Bravehearted wrote: »

How much do you genuinely think he should give you?

I would have wanted to recover around £300-£400 if at all possible.

There is a great deal of sense in what you are all saying, in taking it as a lesson learned and moving on. I am trying to get a SOA calculated but it will mean looking up a lot of paperwork so I may not get this done until tomorrow as its getting late and I need to go to bed.

What a mentally draining situation, I must say!

I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to respond to me, thank you all for your kind wishes :A - you are all wonderful.

~ Caroline

telboyo

If you do decide to walk away you need to visit him one more time and just 5h|t in his boots. This is a totally puerile and childish act which will bring you great relief and joy. If he then progresses to sue you for damages you can then use his own spread hseet to show how much his boots have depreciated in the time between purchase and your 5h|tting in them and re-imburse him accordingly.

tallyhoh

I feel really sorry for you but you must forget trying to get anything from him. The cost in money, time & emotional well being just isnt worth it.

MFWannabe

You're welcome hun. Have a good nights sleep and wake up tomorrow refreshed and determined to put that loser behind you and firmly in the past.
We'll see you tomorrow, armed with your soa and we promise to help you as much as possible to sort your finances.
Take care and see you tomorrow x

tallyhoh

Or if you visit him at home, drop a few prawns in inaccessible places, the light shades would be good or the hems of curtains (only joking)

thehappybutterfly

oooh, he sounds lovely! (NOT). Like the others, I'd suggest you walk away from the hassle and count your lucky stars you've escaped. YOu said yourelf this has been going on for months and where are you? No further forward, no money and no furniture. Just take pity on the poor new woman whose life is about to made a misery.

Not much to suggest on the financial side of things but I note what you're saying about your friend and how you feel bad for not contributing very much money. Can you contribute in other ways - like doing all the cooking and/or shopping? I know I'd be grateful if it were me. I'm sure it can be done in a non-Cinderella way

Lots of luck and put this experience behind you. 2012 will be your year!

faithcecilia

Im another who says just move on. £400 is very little money in the long run, and if he won't give it to you you're stuck, but while you keep trying to get it you will never really be free of him. I once walked away from abou £2500 I had loaned an ex (only loans, not shared property) and it was the best thing I have ever done - I was free of him!