HELP! It's jealousy

mynameissophie

I have two sisters, one lives with the hubby-to-be and the other is at University so she lives their mostly. But when she comes home I find myself getting really jelous I dont know why! I love my sister to bits and I get on with her like a Best Friend, but I just get really jelous and I sometimes just start to get an attitude and I really don't know why. I think it maybe as I am so used to just living with my mum and dad i am used to getting the attention, but i need help as I can feel this pulling me and my sister apart and I really don't want that to happen

elvis86

Actually, it's jealousy..;)

BitterAndTwisted

How old are you, 12?

It's not the feelings that are important: that's your issue to resolve on your own but how you choose to demonstrate them. If you're making your sister feel unwelcome in her own home you need to look at your heart and see why you're being so childish and hurtful to someone you're supposed to love.

mynameissophie

I'm not making her feel unwelcome. 99.99% of the time we are laughing, chatting, having fun like sisters do. I think it's because she is louder and brighter than me that just gets me down a bit. I don't think that she is aware of this.

Gingham_R

It's a normal feeling - don't beat yourself up about it.

What you do about it can make all the difference though. Can you tell her how you feel? Can you just spend a little extra time just you and her when she comes home, so you can develop your relationship with her? The closer you are to her, the less threatened by her closeness with your parents you'll feel.

And, depending on your relationship with your parents, is it worth telling them how you feel?

However you feel, how you behave is a choice you make - make sure it's the right one.

mynameissophie

My mum keeps asking me why I change when she comes home and I just say 'i dont know'. I don't want my family to feel that I am being silly or petty. I am exteremly close to all of my family, and I feel that 99% of the time I am my normaly, chearpy happy self, it's just that 1% that I can't get rid of.

Lotus-eater

Almost everyone has that 1% at some time, it's normal. At least you realise it.

You are jealous because you percive her as being brighter and louder than you. She may be jealous of you for other reasons, that's usually the way it works. Vive la difference!

BitterAndTwisted

Yep, your sister could envy qualities you have which she doesn't and your circumstances, too. You're in the bosom of your beloved family all year round and she's having to fend for herself a lot of the time.

fannyanna

I think to a certain extent jealousy is normal - especially amongst female siblings. But if you feel that it is causes a problem then I think you're right to look to address the situation.

Do you know exactly what it is that you're envious of?

BitterAndTwisted

The OP has said that her sister appears more outgoing and is brighter. This could mean that she's better at covering up her shyness and has perhaps had more encouragement to go into further education or is just more ambitious.