Putting home into family trust to avoid nursing home fees

troubleinparadise

Dear Embee,

It sounds as though you have managed to sort out good care for your parents; about as good as one could hope for, and still together - well done.

I hope your brothers are supportive of you - whilst you may have POA, it isn't beyond them to actually do some of the legwork involved in achieving the best for your parents in terms of researching the best way to deal with their finances as well as their welfare.

Sadly it often seems to fall to one family member to do this, whilst others only see that the pot is being emptied, or emerge from the woodwork to query such things.

Equally, you may actually have the ideal situation where all members are working together to achieve the best for the whole family, I do hope so! :beer:

margaretclare

Embee wrote: »

Fortunately the situation highlighted by Teajug is not what my parents are experiencing (see item 207 from my husband, Peejaybe). They are in a pleasant home, sharing a room together, with kind and caring staff. I'm able to visit regularly and at different times and have always found staff caring and helpful. An extra bonus is that they are in a room together next to a very pretty garden so we often sit outside in the sunshine with tea and biscuits provided by the home. The original post was to question about selling their house and replies have been helpful - thank you.

This sounds ideal. What we would probably all hope for if the time should ever come when we can't stay at home and can't look after ourselves. DH and I don't want ever to be parted and we're quite happy with the idea of using all our assets to that end. Best wishes to you and your parents.

Bogof_Babe

A couple in the home my mum was in had two rooms, but had turned one into their bedroom and used the other as a sitting room. If you're paying the full rate x2 for a couple as you would for two individuals I'd think that would be a good option, as each can still have a bit of personal space as and when they need it. I know I couldn't live in one room 24/7 with my husband, and I know that's mutual!

Of course there will be communal lounges and gardens, but it's not the same as having your own living room with your own choice of TV on or off etc.

seven-day-weekend

^^^That's a great idea.

clemmatis

teajug wrote: »

That would be OK if residents got good care in these homes. The fees are outrageous and the care is nil, save for when relatives are with their love ones.

The home I was able to choose for my mother -- after checking all the reports, which were more detailed then, and asking around, and dropping in to inspect it -- was one of the better ones. She was able to stay registered with our GPs. Her room was bright and sunny and pleasant.

Yes, it charged more than an LA would pay, a lot more. I would though find it difficult to call it "outrageous".

The care wasn't "nil" when I wasn't there.

Care home should be a 'home' from 'home' not a place where residents are locked away for 24/7 and forgotten about until relatives comes to see them again.

Relatives and carers didn't give notice of visits. The residents weren't locked away when I arrived without warning -- if anything, I thought the home was slightly too prone to encourage them to go to one of the lounges. (Admittedly in that nursing home, the staff knew relatives visited frequently.)

The system isn't good, but there's no doubt people who can pay can buy a better nursing home. And that's my point.

meer53

Teajug, you can't make sweeping statements about care homes like that. My MIL is in a nursing home, she has her own room with her own TV and bits of her own furniture. She has her own bedding and towels.

They have a communal lounge with a TV, a quiet room and a smaller room for those who want to read. All the residents are encouraged to get up, get dressed and socialise in the lounge, no-one who is physically able to get up is made to stay in their room. The food is home made and they have a choice at breakfast and lunch. They can ask for a cup of tea whenever they would like one and all visitors are asked if they would like a drink.

There are regular outings and events, they play bingo and take part in quizzes most days.

I can call in at any time without calling first and if i do telephone to ask about my MIL, the phone is taken to her. Her own hairdresser visits once a week as does the chiropodist.

How have you come to the conclusion that the care in care homes is "nil" ? My MIL is disappointed that she doesn't live in her own home anymore, but accepts that she can no longer look after herself. She's 90 and has dementia. She likens the care home to living in a hotel ! She's right.

seven-day-weekend

meer53 wrote: »

Teajug, you can't make sweeping statements about care homes like that. My MIL is in a nursing home, she has her own room with her own TV and bits of her own furniture. She has her own bedding and towels.

They have a communal lounge with a TV, a quiet room and a smaller room for those who want to read. All the residents are encouraged to get up, get dressed and socialise in the lounge, no-one who is physically able to get up is made to stay in their room. The food is home made and they have a choice at breakfast and lunch. They can ask for a cup of tea whenever they would like one and all visitors are asked if they would like a drink.

There are regular outings and events, they play bingo and take part in quizzes most days.

I can call in at any time without calling first and if i do telephone to ask about my MIL, the phone is taken to her. Her own hairdresser visits once a week as does the chiropodist.

How have you come to the conclusion that the care in care homes is "nil" ? My MIL is disappointed that she doesn't live in her own home anymore, but accepts that she can no longer look after herself. She's 90 and has dementia. She likens the care home to living in a hotel ! She's right.

Yes....I think this is it, they should be like hotels, not like hospitals.

Doc_N

Care homes can be dreadful places. But they can also be wonderful, as some here have shown.

I suspect the answer depends very much on the part of the country you live in, and whether the home is privately run or run by a charity/local authority.

In my experience, the best homes are well away from the major cities and not run privately. Better staff, happy to work locally, and no temptation by the owner to shave costs at every possible opportunity (meals, staffing etc) to increase profits.

pollypenny

My father was in a good LA place, too. Well-furnished, three smallish lounges, so it wasn't like sitting in a barn.

As residents needed help with bathing, the carers also did blow-dried the hair of the ladies. No need to pay a hairdresser.

Bogof_Babe

My mum was in three (moved first time due to location, second time as she needed a nursing home's care).

In the first one, if I visited at lunch time they would give me a lovely meal free of charge, the catering was excellent and restaurant quality. There were activities every day which they weren't forced but encouraged to join in. Such a happy place.

In the second one (mum's favourite, she was so very happy there) one of the young (male) Filipino carers used to do the ladies nails, file and put polish on - mum absolutely loved this. They had bingo and quizzes, which visitors were welcome to join in.

In the nursing home, although the atmosphere was different, I can honestly say mum was incredibly well cared for and the food was wonderful. We sometimes sat with her at lunch time (latterly she lost her appetite and needed encouraging to eat) - some days there was real steamed salmon steaks, beautifully presented. They always had a choice of three main meals or a sandwich if they preferred. On Royal Wedding day they put on the most wonderful buffet with wine and decorated the lounge - a real party atmosphere.

All these homes had regular chiropodist visits and weekly hairdressing at nominal charges.

Maybe we were lucky, as we didn't really do a lot of comparing because vacancies were hard enough to find, so we took what was available. I do think the care home sector has an unwarranted bad reputation, and it's a shame as it makes relatives feel more guilty than they should when a loved one has no option but to go to one.

Oh and all of these places had a mix of people who were self-funding and those being paid for by the state, and they all got identical care. The only reason I would prefer to save up to pay for my own is so that I could chose the location - I'd rather be close to shops etc. than in the middle of nowhere!