Can I sell half a house with my brother still living there!.

oldtractor

We were in a similar situation OP with my late MIL. Her younger son lived with her and lived off her. When she died she left all she had to him ,apparently it was because he "needed" her and the house to live in whereas her elder son had married [me] and had therefore "left" her and was able to make his own way in the world,with another woman, [me,his wife]. He received nothing,not a penny. BIL got the lot.
Sorry this doesnt help you ,but it does show how bizarre some people think.

whitewing

oldtractor, am I right in thinking that in your situation it was a farm and house, so not quite as bizarre as it may seem but mightily unfair all the same.

Back_2_Black

I remember hearing advice that if there where likely to be problems with a will, after someone dies, that it is a good idea to leave some money to a large charity, as they have legal department who will fight for the money felt to them.
Does not help if your brother set fire to the house! But is he really going to do that?

corbyboy

If the OP's mother did leave the house on a 50:50 basis what are the practical aspects of getting the brother out?

Presumably he would have to get a court order, but how would the sale proceed and ultimately what would happen if the brother simply refused to leave?
Also, would the OP be able to recoup his legal costs from his brother?

suki1001

In a lot of familes, there seems to be a pattern where a parent feels responsible for a sibling. They seem to feel very sorry for one particular member of the family, but don't realise their actions hinder that sibling than help. I'm not sure why if happens, it usually seems to be down to guilt, or linked to the fact they are the youngest child. I know of many people who do this. they typically make more excuses for that particular person.

Your mother may not be willing to do this, but one way round could be for her to downsize to say a one bedroomed flat. She could either spend whatever equity she has left over on herself or both of you,or invest it. Then work something out for when she does die. My personal concerns would be that even if your brother is willing to attend to her care needs, what if her needs require more specialised care and she has to go into a home? If you have no relationship with your brother if she does stay in her home and is unable to go out anymore, where does that leave you? Will you beable to visit? He may feel he is able to care for her, but this isn't always the case. I have worked in care and helped out where people have stayed in their owns homes and looking after a family member requires a lot of time and patience and I'm not sure I would be happy burdening my children, especially if I suffered with dementia. Is your brother willing to have someone around 24hrs a day if this does happen?

Looking after an elderly relative is hard and can be very upsetting, stressfull and tiring. The sad thing about it, is often rather than looking after children who become more independant, you are looking after someone who is losing theirs.

However having said that there could be one of 2 reasons your brother wants to care for your mother, if it is just so he can stay in the house, then her standard of care might not be what you would wish for your mother, however I would be thankful if your brother intentions were selfless and he had offered to do it because he really loved her and wanted her to stay in her own home with the best standard of care possible. He may be offering do this because he wants to give something back to her. which do you think it is?

troubleinparadise

Does your mum secretly enjoy the companionship and security that having your brother living in her house brings?

She may also be "buying" the reassurance that she will be looked after by him in her own house in her final years by tolerating his continued residence....

Oh to have a crystal ball to see how the future will work out. Several thoughts:

1) No-one can really promise that they will never allow someone to go "into a home" - if a person becomes very physically disabled or perhaps very challenged with dementia then residential care is usually the only option.

2) Caring for someone isn't always just a situation of making them a meal and doing the washing and house diy. More often it is washing the person, taking them to the lavatory, running all their finances, and much more 24/7 - is your brother up to that?

2) If she does go into care, a house is often not taken into consideration (re having to sell it to pay for care) if there is a long-term co-resident such as your brother and it forms his only place of residence; and also if your mum is supporting him as well financially then he is even more secure.

3) Conflict with your brother seems almost inevitable given his stance; why is he allowed to be so stubborn and selfish? He seems to be calling all the shots here.

4) An awful lot can happen before the situation re your mum's present thoughts about her house becomes an issue to deal with.....

pinkshoes

Your mother wants what all mothers want; for her children to get along! And this is no doubt EXACTLY why she's leaving the house to BOTH of you.

You know it won't work, but it's what she wants and hopes might happen, so trying to change her mind is somewhat selfish.

You do have options though:

1. Tell your mum that as your brother won't move out, then could she stipulate in her will that if he wants to remain in the property rather than selling it, then he needs to pay a monthly rent of £X.

2. You could move into the house with your brother. As part owner, there is nothing he can do about this.

3. You let your brother have the house.

Chances are the house could be sold to foot a care bill, and £125k wouldn't go that far!

If you refuse to even visit your mum at her house, then you aren't going to get very far trying to persuade her to add a clause or change the will! Get over your ego, and start visiting her again. IGNORE your brother if he's rude, and just be polite and civil to him. This will please your mum no end, and make your brother look like a prat!

ZARA

you dont know in the long run if you will get any of the house, as other ops have mentioned it may be sold to fulfil other bills, instead of waiting for your mum to die so you can get the house why dont you just enjoy the time you have left with her & if & when you get half the house deal with it then, lifes too short to stress over what may never happen & you only get one mum.

Running_Horse

Your mum can leave her house to whoever she likes. Maybe you should be doing less planning for after her death, and concentrate on relationships with the living. Nothing like an inheritance to bring out the worst in people.

Mojisola

Gulfswinger wrote: »

My brother hasn't worked in 20 years and has no intention of ever working again. His girlfriend works in a shop. My brother claims benefits and has done for most of his life, he has no disability or reason why he can't work apart from the fact that he is plain lazy and is quite happy to live off our mother until she dies and leaves us the house. He has made this clear. Unsurprisingly me and my brother don't talk!

Running_Horse wrote: »

Your mum can leave her house to whoever she likes. Maybe you should be doing less planning for after her death, and concentrate on relationships with the living. Nothing like an inheritance to bring out the worst in people.

I don't think this is very fair! The problem is with the idle brother, not the OP wanting to take money from the mother.

I would be annoyed if a parasite relative also took over the family home because, despite being a half owner, it would be very difficult to get him out.