Button Holes for family

lisajane8482

We are going to book our flowers after Christmas, I know the wedding is a long way off but I want all deposits paid so I know I am getting what I want from where I want.

We are obviously getting button holes for the groom, best men (he's having 2) and the father of the bride and coursages for the mothers and grandmothers but do we provide for anyone else?

The family weddings I have been to if you are not in the bridal party then you have to pay for your own if you want them.

I know my family would happily pay for their own but I don't think my OH family will pay for theirs so I was thinking about getting them for brothers and sisters only then saying if they want the children to have them or any aunts, uncles, cousins etc want them then they pay for their own (which is only around £1-£1.50 each). This way it won't be just my family wearing them.

You may think I'm being tight asking aunts, uncles etc to pay for theirs but we have around 60 members of family and since we are on a budget every pound counts.

So my questions are:

Is it usual to ask family members to buy their own button holes if they want them?

If we provide brothers/sisters with them do we provide their OH too?

Any advice is greatly received.

Thanks in advance

VICSH

HI

For buttonholes H2B and our son are having roses then for the others we are having white tulips we are getting them for:
Best man
Ushers x3
Dad
FIL
My brother and brother in law and my soon to be sister in laws other half

And then a fancier corsage for the mums.

I think your budget dictates who you provide them for i dont think there is a set plan on who should have what we just went with what suited us... hth

stir_crazy

I've only bought buttonholes for the groom, best man, Fathers and mothers. I have brothers, my OH has sisters and there are kids on both sides, but we're leaving them to buy their own. My feeling is that anyone else who wants a flower can buy one, its an added expense for us otherwise.

MaggieBaking

I'd find it peculiar to be asked to buy a buttonhole... When exactly would I give you a pound for example?

I originally planned on just giving a buttonhole to the Dads and my husband and getting the Mums a corsage. I wanted to give buttonholes to my immediate family, like step brothers and it grew from there.

After a big debate I decided to buy one for everyone who attended the wedding. For the sake of £60-£70 it would be a nice way to honour guests, I always get excited getting a buttonhole as a wedding guest.

I don't quite understand why you would want a large family to have buttonholes and not the rest of your guests? Can you not just provide ones to the "top tier" - your brothers and sisters and not do uncles, aunties etc?

You could write in your invitations that guests are welcome to bring their own rose buttonholes (or whatever flower you chose). That's probably how I would do it if I wanted lots of people to wear one but budget was tight.

Personally, if you're inviting someone with a partner, you should also provide the partner with a buttonhole.

I don't think you're being tight, and as a guest I would want to make your wedding as easy as possible and I would not moan about having to buy one, but I just thought I would give you an impartial viewpoint.

wanchai_2

Our florist is doing us a really amazing package which I get very excited thinking about! It was a special limited offer so we're getting 2x the flowers for our money.

He has offered to provide as many buttonholes as we want. I am thinking of asking him either to provide a buttonhole for everyone (c. 100 guests) which the ushers can give as they arrive at the church, OR to tie a flower to each napkin at the table, something like the first pic below (but in our colours!).

If we only have buttonholes for the 'select few', it'll be groom, best man (OH's brother) and his wife, my brother and his GF, OH's sister and her BF, our mums and - um, that's about it. HTH!

sugarwalsh

Personally I have never been to a wedding where you are supplied with a button hole! I often make my own and for those who are with me before a wedding, but I would never expect to receive one. It is a nice gesture, but I sincerely doubt people would expect it. I think it would perhaps be an expense I would do without. I would expect just the main bridal party to have one or cosage/bouquet etc and the guests to bring their own if they so wish.

I don't think asking our family to pay towards them is the right way to go - if you want everyone to have matching button holes then that is your choice and therefore you should pay for them. I think button holes for the main wedding party is a good way of distinguisihing them as 'someone important' if I wasn't familiar with them!!! I would be mighty confused if everyone wore the same - but that is just me!

Megan

sugarwalsh

In the same vain, Wanchai, I think you should go with the table decs - they are lovely, nice ranuculus....

Megan

lisajane8482

I have only been to two family weddings (both uncles) and for both we had to pay for our buttonholes which we a plain version of the bridal parties (i think that was only a couple of pound each) but they did have a lot more friends at the weddings than we are so I guess it distinguished friends and family.

There will only be around 10 people who are not family at the wedding (although they are very close friends) so I think we'll either pay for everyone to have one or just provide for bridal party, I'll leave that decision to the OH (it's about time he had some input:rotfl:).

Wanchai, the flowers are gorgeous, if we decide to go for flowers for everyone then I may ask the florist if she can do something similar instead of buttonholes.

MaggieBaking

Our florist recommended as a cheap alternative to button holes, just stand one of your ushers next to a small table with a bouquet of flowers and a pair of scissors, every guest that comes in is offered a "snip". We nearly went with this but for the sake of ease we decided to go with pre-made ones.

wanchai_2

sugarwalsh wrote: »

In the same vain, Wanchai, I think you should go with the table decs - they are lovely, nice ranuculus....

Megan

They're not our colours, but they are so cute and have inspired me! I love the berries too. Defo going to ask the florist to do this.

lisajane8482 wrote: »

I have only been to two family weddings (both uncles) and for both we had to pay for our buttonholes which we a plain version of the bridal parties (i think that was only a couple of pound each) but they did have a lot more friends at the weddings than we are so I guess it distinguished friends and family.

There will only be around 10 people who are not family at the wedding (although they are very close friends) so I think we'll either pay for everyone to have one or just provide for bridal party, I'll leave that decision to the OH (it's about time he had some input:rotfl:).

Wanchai, the flowers are gorgeous, if we decide to go for flowers for everyone then I may ask the florist if she can do something similar instead of buttonholes.

Glad to be of help

sugarwalsh

I'm having white ranunculus and lime green berries... Probably using them for button holes with white freesias too.

Megan