Housing Benefit etc for my son

bubbleoflife_2

My son has not been able to find work since he returned from university last June and has been on JSA for few months. Our relationship has been rather strained and he seems to be spending quite a lot of time sitting at his computer, usually in the night, sleeping till late afternoon (and have mates over till late ).
I was wondering if it would be more motivating for him to find himself a place and claim housing benefit & council tax.

He does want to have a good paying job but I'm not sure that staying at home is enough to motivate him to do so and I'm fed up of his grumpy and rude remarks whenever I remind him to wash his clothes (for the uptinth time!:mad:) and spend sometime going out to apply for vacancies posted on shop windows (he has worked in the past at call centers and lately in a pub, very briefly, during Summer before signing on JSA).

Vejovis

i'm not sure how being given more money from the government is going to motivate him.

GlasweJen

If your son moves out he'll likely only be entitled to the shared room rate for LHA so if he chooses to live in a self contained flat he'd need to find any difference from his wages.

You could always ask if he wants to move out with a friend?

BigAunty

You can identify the shared property LHA rate for the local area on the Direct Gov or local council website. It'll only stretch to properties that are in the bottom third of local rents. From Jan, you have to be over 35 to get a rate sufficient enough to cover a 1 bed self contained property.

Once you've identified the rates, look at Gumtree and Spareroom to see what places he could get with that LHA and note how few landlords will accept non-working tenants. At least, you'll have an idea of his options. You could then pass on the best ads for him to call. That's a big hint for him to buck up, too.

Does he have the equivalent of one month's deposit and one month's rent in advance for the landlord? Some councils operate rent/deposit guarantee schemes for tenants on low income/in housing need. Can you lend it to him?

Many landlords will not accept benefit claimants as tenants and those that do often require a guarantor, someone who will pass the credit checks themselves and pay if the tenant defaults on rent. So it won't be easy for him to find a place without a job. Can you be his guarantor? (Not the faint hearted, very risky).

Start enforcing house rules - tell your son about the new curfew for his guests and kick them out if they overstay - your house, your rules.

HappyMJ

Being on benefits as has been said he will either have to pay the entire 6 month tenancy upfront and/or get a guarantor. It's not cheap. He can move into shared accomodation but most people with a house to share want professional working people as they sensibly do not want people sitting in their house all day with the heating on max whilst they are out at work.

Oldernotwiser

Are you making him pay for his keep out of his JSA or are you allowing him to keep it all as spending money?

BigAunty

How much keep does he pay you out of his JSA, by the way? Do you cook for him?

I bet if you demanded all of his JSA bar a bit of money for his fare to sign on, plus stamps to apply for jobs, and didn't provide any meals, he'd soon be off?!

Do you mean this June (6 months unemployed) or last June (18 months unemployed) 'cos if it's the latter, he's probably v. depressed now, self esteem gone out of the window. He does sound fed up and frustrated at the very least with his job search due to the snappiness, poor hygiene and broken sleep patterns that you cite.

Ask the Employment forum members for advice on how you can inspire your son and rebuild his morale. Lots of bods there are equally fed up with job searching and in need of support, so they'll be able to give you some positive options to help your son address his joblessness and his slide into a loss of work ethic, self worth, structured routine.

What types of jobs is he interested in? what's he applying for (if he won't consider shop work?)?

PS - my dad lost patience with my brother and used to drag him out of bed by his hair or tip him off the mattress when he left for work at 7am, order him to the job centre, was funny at the time but took quite a while for their relationship to be repaired. now my brother has harangued his son on the same issue...

bubbleoflife_2

BigAunty wrote: »

How much keep does he pay you out of his JSA, by the way? Do you cook for him?

I bet if you demanded all of his JSA bar a bit of money for his fare to sign on, plus stamps to apply for jobs, and didn't provide any meals, he'd soon be off?!

Do you mean this June (6 months unemployed) or last June (18 months unemployed) 'cos if it's the latter, he's probably v. depressed now, self esteem gone out of the window. He does sound fed up and frustrated at the very least with his job search due to the snappiness, poor hygiene and broken sleep patterns that you cite.

Ask the Employment forum members for advice on how you can inspire your son and rebuild his morale. Lots of bods there are equally fed up with job searching and in need of support, so they'll be able to give you some positive options to help your son address his joblessness and his slide into a loss of work ethic, self worth, structured routine.

What types of jobs is he interested in? what's he applying for (if he won't consider shop work?)?

PS - my dad lost patience with my brother and used to drag him out of bed by his hair or tip him off the mattress when he left for work at 7am, order him to the job centre, was funny at the time but took quite a while for their relationship to be repaired. now my brother has harangued his son on the same issue...

Thank you for reply.
I've stopped cooking for son a little while ago, though everyone is welcome to have what I cook. He cooks for himself and buys his own food.
I don't ask him for money but I do wish he went to the laundry for his clothes and did small chores without my having to remind him 30 times! But that's kids, I guess!
He left university June this year (2011) and he's been on JSA since August this year.

I can see from what others are saying that he won't be able to find an accomodation elsewhere as I cannot (will not) be his garantor.

What type of jobs is he interested in? Computer Game Design (that his BSc). I'm not sure he actually knows how to look for a high paying salary as he's been used to small part-time jobs students go for, e.g. call centers, restaurant, some manual, etc...

BigAunty

Letting him keep his full JSA without contributing to the household is perhaps sufficient enough pocket money to keep him comfortable enough.

Download the MSE budget planner, fill it in and then talk your son through it so he sees how much you are subsidising him (energy, telecoms, tv licence, etc). Ask him to start making a contribution to his keep.

Show him some accommodation ads from Gumtree and Spareroom that are equivalent to his LHA rate, ones that say DSS welcome, or at the very least, don't mention that DSS (really LHA/HB) isn't welcome. Give him the info from the local council on how he can apply for the rent/deposit guarantee scheme if there is one and he qualifies for it.

Start to get him thinking about the real world with its real costs. Remind him of the house rules.

Tell him that you are very sympathetic about the stress of looking for fulfilling employment but it's no excuse for poor hygiene and laziness around the house. Remind him of the house rules, particularly the new one where he can't have groups of friends around at night - when he gets his own place, that's when he gets total freedom.

Oldernotwiser

bubbleoflife wrote: »

Thank you for reply.
I've stopped cooking for son a little while ago, though everyone is welcome to have what I cook. He cooks for himself and buys his own food.
I don't ask him for money but I do wish he went to the laundry for his clothes and did small chores without my having to remind him 30 times! But that's kids, I guess!
He left university June this year (2011) and he's been on JSA since August this year.
.

Quite honestly, if you're allowing him to be keeping almost all of his £50+ JSA as spending money, he has very little incentive to find a job, particularly if it doesn't pay well. JSA is given to him to support himself and he should be giving you most of it to pay for his keep.

The sentence I've boldened speaks volumes. He is not a kid, he's a young man of 21/22 and he needs to act and be treated like this rather than like some recalcitrant teenager.

Honestly, you're making a rod for your own back and not helping him at all.

smileytiger

You need some tough love i'm afraid.
Make him contirbute financially (before Uni my DS was handing over half his JSA as board)
And set some house rules especially regarding no late night friends and what is expected of him in YOUR home.

'Kids' do whatever they can get away with, however old they are.
The only way he's gonna get any job, is to get out there - if that means you dragging his butt outta bed at 8am every day then so be it until he gets the message that dossing isn't acceptable.

Yep - have been there and worn out the T shirt with son no1 - who thankfully now is in a well paid job and settled with partner in a decent house etc.

It's not easy - but benefits are a last resort and not a solution..Good luck .x