advise please

janeawej

I used to work fulltime but now since caring for my mother who is 84 and has alzheimers disease (she has lived with me for 2 yrs) ~I have developed depression and anxiety and was off work with this for approx 5 months, i have now returned to work but am finding it very hard, I am working approx 16 hrs a week and have been claiming wf tax credits ( i also have children) however I am finding this realy difficult, i am very anxious all the time and still depressed and find it a real struggle to get to work not to mention go out shopping ect, and some days just getting out of the house is a struggle, i was wondering if there was anything else i could claim as i realy cant see myself being able to work any more hours for a long while, i cant claim carers allowance as i earn more than the max amount for claiming this, i have a huge mortgage and dont realy know what to do so any advice would be greatefully recieved, thanks

msmicawber

I'm sorry, Jane, I can't answer your direct question about whether there is anything else you could claim, but you have so much to deal with, I'm not surprised you're wilting under the weight of it. Please can I recommend that you see your GP about the depression and anxiety, and check whether there's any assistance you can get in caring for your mother. A trip to the CAB would be a good idea as they can advise you on whether you're getting everything that you're entitled to, financially; they may also be able to point you in the right direction for assistance like respite care (I suspect this would come from Social Services).

My heart goes out to you, and I hope you can get some help.

shameless-about-money

janeawej wrote:

I used to work fulltime but now since caring for my mother who is 84 and has alzheimers disease (she has lived with me for 2 yrs) ~I have developed depression and anxiety and was off work with this for approx 5 months, i have now returned to work but am finding it very hard, I am working approx 16 hrs a week and have been claiming wf tax credits ( i also have children) however I am finding this realy difficult, i am very anxious all the time and still depressed and find it a real struggle to get to work not to mention go out shopping ect, and some days just getting out of the house is a struggle, i was wondering if there was anything else i could claim as i realy cant see myself being able to work any more hours for a long while, i cant claim carers allowance as i earn more than the max amount for claiming this, i have a huge mortgage and dont realy know what to do so any advice would be greatefully recieved, thanks

You should be claiming Attendance Allowance for Mum for a start.

There are people who work voluntarily through the Social Services who will come and sit with Mum for a few hours to allow you to have a break yourself. There is also respite care so that Mum can have residential care once every few weeks to give you a break.

Have you claimed Council Tax Benefits as you are entitled to that.

Go to https://www.entitledto.co.uk and input your personal information and it will tell you what else you are entitled to. Or visit the CAB who will be very helpful.

Living with and caring for someone with Alzheimers is very stressful and there IS support out there for you but sometimes you have to ASK before anyone does anything.

Do talk to your GP as you need help yourself and it is important for your GP to realise how ill your living situation is making you.

wolfehouse

there should be a carer's centre in your local area - they are run by the princes trust here but some are quarriers and i'm not sure about england/wales.
they can give fantastic support including helping you maximize income (benefit advise) and giving you a social group with people who have similar pressures.
ours will even arrange a sitter for the caree if you need to go to a meeting and the person can't be left alone.
worth asking your local council or social services or cab where your local one is and giving them a ring.

carole_twigg

I am sure there will be a local Carers branch near you that will be able to give you support. They can help you with a welfare benefits check and also assist with filling in forms if you find it a minefield. They should also have a carer's nurse who is there for YOU. You will have to register but it's free and confidential. I do hope you wll feel better soon. You are doing a fantastic job looking after your Mother

janeawej

thankyou all for your support, it means a lot to me especialy as my ex constantly puts me down, the finances are diffucult to explain, mum does get attendance allowance, but is not eligible for any other bebefits as she has money in a trust fund which she cannot touch but is counted as hers, its not that we are dreadfully hard up because were not but it is hard to afford everything she needs, 24hr care is essential, she cannot be left for even 10 minutes as she could wander or as she did the other day put the grill on full and walk away, or poke her waking stick in the coal fire (our only heating) i had a ss carers assessment last year and they gave me £100 to put towards some time off for me (that was 2 years worth!) agency care costs £14 per hour through their own agency! she has to pay for any respite and i feel guilty taking the money as the respite is for me not her benefit, the carers support worker did visit once, that was it! sorry just moaning! the https://www.entitledto.co.uk link was great..........except they dont allow you to have anyone else living in your house except you, partner and kids so i couldnt include mum! but it has made me realise that dd1 will be 16 NEXT year (feb 08) so could probably claim carers allowance for granny herself then! enough moaning it just seems so lonely here, carers groups in my area apparently have no one my age they are all over 60s! so not realy my thing, thanks again for all your support, Jane

Afzal_2

I don't know much abt the Law in your country but there must be some claims ..

jobbingmusician

YOu could have a look round https://www.carers.org - there's a discussion board on there as well which I have visited in the past - I think there are quite a few carers looking after people with Alzheimers who use the site, since it's such a dreadful disease to care for. You have my total sympathy - my mum had Alz and I know my dad had a terrible time of it.

wolfehouse

i admire you for taking on the carer role. You must take care of yourself as well so you can continue. you seem to have already done the obvious things.

if it were me i would want an occupational therpapist (social services) round to put in an isolation switch on my cooker (so she can't 'accidentily' turn it on). i would try to seek support from the alzheimer society http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/Caring_for_someone_with_dementia/Coping_with_caring/index.htm
and any other chairity like that i could find to share on any forums where people may have ideas about things like wandering.
and i would phone my local council to ask about day programmes for people with dementia- my own local council does have such a thing (but of course more people want it than they can supply....still).

it is unfortunate that if you are willing to quietly accept the little help that is given at first, that is all the help that you may get.
I would give the carers association a go anyway and maybe even see if they would be willing to start a 'younger' carers group for people of your age. they may not know that is putting you off if you don't tell them.

Again, i think you are great to be helping your mother now. you need to take care of yourself too.

wolfehouse

i admire you for taking on the carer role. You must take care of yourself as well so you can continue. you seem to have already done the obvious things.

if it were me i would want an occupational therpapist (social services) round to put in an isolation switch on my cooker (so she can't 'accidentily' turn it on). i would try to seek support from the alzheimer society http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/Caring_for_someone_with_dementia/Coping_with_caring/index.htm
and any other chairity like that i could find to share on any forums where people may have ideas about things like wandering.
and i would phone my local council to ask about day programmes for people with dementia- my own local council does have such a thing (but of course more people want it than they can supply....still).

it is unfortunate that if you are willing to quietly accept the little help that is given at first, that is all the help that you may get.
I would give the carers association a go anyway and maybe even see if they would be willing to start a 'younger' carers group for people of your age. they may not know that is putting you off if you don't tell them.

Again, i think you are great to be helping your mother now. you need to take care of yourself too.

janeawej

Thanks I have asked for an occupational therapist assessment but seem to have a social worker coming instead! an isolation switch on the cooker is a good idea as mum did switch the grill on full the other day! I can switch it off at the wall but she knows where the switch is!! the wandering is not too bad now as i hav e door alarms they frighten the life out of me when they go off!!