Childcare needs to be structured

kitkateater

Please could you help me. I have been separated nearly two years and have young children.

No formal arrangements have been put in place for childcare and this was something we agreed between ourselves.

The arrangements have recently deteriorated and I no longer know where I stand. I keep getting let down at last minute and have to tell the kids and arrange alternative childcare for when I am working.

I keep asking for next years arrangements and I am getting no response.

I want my kids to see their dad, but would like something formal put in place so that we know when its going to be and so the kids are not let down.

What do I do? I am loathe to put the kids through any kind of court process, but after 18 months of uncertaintly, I don't know what else there is to try.

Any suggestions welcome......

daska

I have every sympathy, my eldest was frequently let down and it's distressing for everyone except the parent who's found something better to do. The good news is that, assuming you both agree on contact levels, it's highly unlikely that the kids would have to go through any court process, maximum would probably be a home visit by CAFCASS, possibly a visit to the CAFCASS office BUT the downside is that it might be a waste of time because a contact order won't force him to turn up.

It's not what you want to hear, I'm sure, but perhaps it might be better not to rely on him for childcare when you're working so that the letdowns are less stressful for you all.

CH27

I would assume that he will have no contact & always have childcare arranged.
If he does turn up then it's a bonus.

junior_j

Sorry I don't have experience as such but through working with families they seem to prefer to avoid court and will set up a contract as such together. Both signing an arrangement agreement. If he does keep letting you down then you might have to go through courts. Pretty much what above posters has said. He needs to prove he can be a good father and show up for his children, Believe me being 19 and my dad (he moved out in april after an affair) lets me down and it still hurts me, so the childrens feeling need to be handled very carefully. x