Bulls phone in

macaque_2

Macaque – Hello caller, what did you want to talk about?
Caller 1 – Hi Macaque. I've got a portfolio
Macaque – A portfolio of what?
Caller 1 – Don’t you know anything Macaque? Portfolio is Latin for string of houses.
Macaque – Thank you caller, so what did you want to talk about?
Caller 1 – I just wanted to say that renters are scum.
Macaque – What’s the problem?
Caller 1 – Well basically, my renters are not paying enough in rent and other people’s renters are not buying houses. It’s completely screwing up my business plan. No wonder the country’s in such a mess.
Macaque – If you are losing money why don’t you increase the rent?
Caller 1 – Tried to mate but had all the usual rubbish, suicide, bankruptcy etc.
Macaque – Well perhaps you should sell the houses?
Caller 1 – Love to Macaque but house prices haven’t budged in 5 years. When the scum renters come to their senses and accept that 10X income is the new norm for mortgage loans, I stand to make a couple of hundred K. Until then, these muppets are just holding back the recovery.
Macaque – Thank you caller, hello next caller
Caller 2 – Hi Macaque, this is Christine from Crouch End and I wanted to say that Jesus is our sa…..
Macaque – Sorry Christine but we have to go to an advertisement on payday loans sponsored by Beelzebub.

Cleaver

Started on the Christmas sherry Mr Simian?

IveSeenTheLight

Cleaver wrote: »

Started on the Christmas sherry Mr Simian?

It's not even original.
I've seen it before and it wasn't funny then either.

julieq

It is pretty hopeless, isn't it? It's like Geneer and his "memes": invent something a "bull" may have said and then go on endlessly about how it's not true.

I'd say Straw Man except it takes a bit more skill to make a straw man than some of this rubbish.

IveSeenTheLight

As I said, we've seen this before

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2763204

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2595889

This is just desperation to try and paint a picture which quite clearly isn't reality.

Remind us again macaque, how far to go to meet your 70% prediction?

julieq

The funny thing looking back at previous attempts is just how totally and heroically wrong Macaque was about everything he said.

Not that that's a surprise exactly, you can search back through all of his posts and find the same thing. His inability to get anything right is beyond random chance. He's a perfect contraindication.

That's sarcasm for you though. If you're sarcastic and wrong you do end up looking like a bit of a plank. I always go back to Mewbie's sarcastic prediction where he managed to get the trajectory of the recovery precisely right by saying the opposite of what he believed would happen. Happy days.

SecondLegDownIsTheBigOne

He's certainly rattling your cages though.

julieq

Not really, he just happens to be posting sh1te that's easy to dismiss.

chewmylegoff

i thought the previous ones were relatively amusing, this one appears to be a poor effort by comparison.

JonnyBravo

IveSeenTheLight wrote: »

As I said, we've seen this before

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2763204

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2595889

This is just desperation to try and paint a picture which quite clearly isn't reality.

Remind us again macaque, how far to go to meet your 70% prediction?

oooo I like that second link. Especially post no.2.
But just like Mr Monkey it seems as if my best work is now behind me.

:cool:

IveSeenTheLight

JonnyBravo wrote: »

oooo I like that second link. Especially post no.2.
But just like Mr Monkey it seems as if my best work is now behind me.

:cool:

I thought post 3 was better