just a little advice needed

rebeccaxoxo

im a 21 year old mum to a 11 month old baby who is very bright and alert for his age. I'm also 35 weeks pregnant at the moment. I am at home most days with my some for the entire day and I have recently been struggling to keep him entertained as I don't keep well when pregnant. This in turn is depressing me no end as i feel that my son is not getting what he needs. To people in similar situations, how much one to one time do you spend with your child, and what do you do with them the rest of the time ?

happy35

I used to spend most of the day with my son at this age doing one to one activities, we used to bake, paint or just general playing

If for any reason I wasnt well I would still do the above but also fill in some time reading books to him or watching a DVD together snuggled up on the sofa

I did struggle at times as my son was and still is very active but he did like the above for an hour or so at a time

rebeccaxoxo

thanks for the reply happy 35 , this is exactly how i would like things to be with me and my son. Can i ask you how you got your son to participate in baking at such a young age, same with painting. I cant imagine how id get my little one to interact with me doing these activites. Just to clear things up by unwell I dont mean that I have the flu or a bug etc, ive been hospitalised several times with gallstone related pancreatitis, eventually having it removed. Even afterwards Im still suffering some days with similar pains which i have to take painkillers for.
I am really not trying to excuse the lack of one to one interaction but I dont want people to think im just being lazy.
Anyone else with children that age, how much time do you spend with them playing without the tv on etc ?

osian

When my daughter was that age, I'd spend all day with her.

We'd spend the day doing 'normal' day to day activities (into town/ to cafes/ on walks/ visiting and meeting family and friends) along with a bit of reading, singing (and counting fingers and toes), going for walks to the park, play with toys, watching Cbeebies together (and pointing out things etc), putting her on the floor and trying to get her to walk/move. Feeding in the highchair also took up a lot of hours as she was a slow eater! I didn't do anything particularly special and she's a happy and bright three year old now.

If I needed to do something (pop to loo/ have a cup of tea for example), she'd be quite happy and safe in a travel cot with some toys and a bag of plastic balls for a few minutes.

The fact that you're worried about it suggests that you are a good parent. I think at that age they usually get your attention all day anyway as you're too busy trying to keep them happy (i.e not crying) and out of harms way.

teacherandmum

i think it depends what your 11 month old is like ie is he walking? is he crawling? does he sit in the high chair? can he hold crayons etc

My typical day with my daughter at that age (shes 16 months now and it is still quite similar)
6.30am up, breakfast, sit in high chair with toy or spoon and bowl while i wash up and tidy kitchen, dress and tidy her bedroom, get bed clothes out for following evening, dress myself. She would be playing on the floor in the rooms and crawling around after me.
8.30 School run in the car
9.30 Tues/Thurs at playgroup til luinch. Fri at a friends til lunch, other days come home and do some jobs while DD would play either on the floor, standing at the playtable. I could get a 20 min job done and then would play with her for 15-20 mins and continue like this through the morning. She's carry washing around with her if i was loading the wash machine or if i was dusting id give her a cloth to pretend to help. we might get the veg for tea prepped or something like that, generally she would sit in the high chair with toys or crayons and paper etc
Lunch about 12
nap from 1 to 2.30
2.30 snack
school run in the car.
at home from then til tea, i would play with both girls in the living room
Tea
more playing
bath
bed
(then id do the jobs like the washing up from tea, put clothes on to wash, hoover up the stairs etc)

HTH

rebeccaxoxo

i know you are trying to help and i appreciate the responses but this just makes me realise how little time i do spend with him one on one. i try my best but most of the time hes happy to just play on his own. can he be developing properly just doing that ? I have no idea what im going to do when the other baby is here, as ill have even less time

osian

Honestly, I just carried on doing my normal stuff but with my daughter in tow...then when we were at home I spent about 5-10mins at a time on the activities in my above post, before she'd lose interest. It certainly wasn't a massive amount of time. I found that if she needed my attention she would get it one way or another anyway. He'd probably cry if he needed more attention wouldn't he?

Do you chat lots to him? I think that's probably the most important thing, they learn so much by just normal life anyway (if you see what I mean) that you don't need to do anything special.

He'll also learn so much from having a sibling close in age (sharing and caring etc), that I'm having to teach my daughter now (as she doesn't have a sibling so hates sharing her stuff).

Carl31

happy35 wrote: »

I used to spend most of the day with my son at this age doing one to one activities, we used to bake, paint or just general playing

If for any reason I wasnt well I would still do the above but also fill in some time reading books to him or watching a DVD together snuggled up on the sofa

I did struggle at times as my son was and still is very active but he did like the above for an hour or so at a time

you used to bake with an 11 month old?

did you give birth to the next einstein?

Plans_all_plans

Have you been to the Children's Centre? They can provide lots of help and advice and they run lots of groups if you feel able to get out to them.

Also, the organisation HomeStart are very good. Google them and then go to the 'Need Support' section on the left hand side, I can't seem to post links at the mo.

With baking, I think you can do that with an 11 month old. Give them a bit of mixture and a spoon and they're happy just bashing about really!

Weightwatcher

Hi
I would really advise Children's centres, they are fantastic. They are free, safe and will provide loads of stimulation for your little one. It's also a chance to meet other Mums and get a free cup of tea, biscuit and snack for toddler.

I took my daughter lots before she started school and it done her and me the world of good in so many ways.

missindecisive

listen try not to worry too much about exactly WHAT you are doing with him..you sound overwhemed at the thought of having another baby aswell as him, plus you have really been quite unwell by the sounds of it.
Little ones at this age can be entertained by all sorts of every day things that we might take for granted, eg a trip to the supermarket can be made fun, ask him to point things out to you. A short walk in the park will tire him out, when you are in the kitchen let him play with the pots/pans and a wooden spoon. Try and hide some of his toys away for a bit and then bring them out again at a later date as they get bored with their toys quickly. Simple crayons & paper will keep them amused at this age and also wooden type jigsaws..it does'nt all have to be paper mache and home made play do. Do what suits you.
Do you manage to get out attall to any toddler groups? if you don't you can ask your local health visitor where they are held. Lots of mums I knew thought that these groups were a life line, they are ususally very cheap or even free, lots of new toys and activities for the little ones and a welcome cuppa and a natter for the mums..,.gets you out the house for a bit!
And lastly, there is nothing wrong with a bit of tv time in the afternoon, a snuggle on the sofa with mum and a little rest for you both-don't feel guilty. Your little one won't remember when he's older EXACTLY what you did together when he was 11 months old, just that he was fed,watered and loved, and that you spent happy times together. :j