Family crisis - have to introduce another cat to our house

Tiddlywinks

I have a middle aged scaredy female cat - she came to us from a rescue 11 years ago. We got her at the same time as an old girl - she died 2 years ago and since then Little Girl has been on her own. She never really got on with our old girl - after the initial "handbags" they just sort of ignored each other.

Now to the problem... my mum has been taken into hospital as an emergency and now it looks like she may have a very long stay (possible she will not recover). She has a very spoilt 16 yo tabby female who rules the roost. Since the weekend we have been going in to feed her but now we know we need to sort something longer term and there lies the problem.

The two girls met last christmas when mum came to stay and they hated each other on sight - no surprises there.

Anyway, I'm an old hand with cats having had them for 40+ years and so I know this is going to be painful for all of us. I'd be really grateful for any ideas about how to integrate mum's cat into our house considering that our cat is scared of her own shadow and will be upset and mum's cat is missing her mum, is a bit spoilt and will not take kindly to being moved.

As if I didn't have enough to worry about going to and fro to the hospital every day which is 80 miles away.

Fridaycat

So sorry to hear that your mum is unwell, tiddlywinks, I hope she makes a full recovery.

In terms of the cats, one of mine, Harry, sounds similar to yours - very skittish, hides behind the sofa when the postman puts the letters through the letterbox, would no way be in the house if anyone other than me & husband are in....

The best advice I can give is to take things slowly and don't force the cats into accepting each other. Try and give your mum's cat their own room if space allows and let puss settle in there for a few days with food, water, litter tray etc.

Then try swapping beds or sleeping areas around between the two cats for a couple of days to get them used to each other's scent.

Then gradually do supervised face to face introductions, but let each cat have their own space to retreat back to and allow for time outs. Start off small and build up the amount of time.

Since having Harry, I have introduced three more cats into our home and he gets on fine with them, though it took time. In fact he is best mates with Robbie our 2 year old, they play, eat and sleep together and are often inseparable now.

spookylukey

Sorry to hear about your Mum, I'm sure it's a weight off her mind knowing that you will be taking on her cat.

I can highly recommend a Feliway plug in, it's an odourless plug in that releases happy/calming cat pheromones.

http://www.vetuk.co.uk/feliway-products-c-1/feliway-diffuser-pack-incl-feliway-diffuser-and-feliway-vial-p-334

Also these links may help:

Introducing a new cat to your resident cat - http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,4789.0.html

Multicat households - http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,4799.0.html

pimento

I can second the feliway idea. It's magic.

krlyr

Heard Feliway is fab. Think there are dietary supplements that are meant to calm them down too.
One method I've seen recommended is to make mesh screens for your doors (wooden frame with weldmesh stapled to it) so that the cats can see and smell each other without access, so they get to know each other without the possibility of fighting (the more fights they have, the more they'll dislike each other)

Person_one

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

As if I didn't have enough to worry about going to and fro to the hospital every day which is 80 miles away.

Ask the hospital if they have any relative's room where you can stay while your mum is there, at least at first or for a couple of days a week.

Some do, some don't and some prioritise either parents of children or relatives of patients in ICU but it has to be worth asking.

160 miles a day on top of everything else will leave you exhausted.

georgiesmum

Used feliway, did no good and i am 6 weeks down the line. Trying zylene tablets now. Hope they work. Good luck with the cats,i will never go through that again, although this is the first time i have had any real trouble introducing a new cat. Could be a doddle, you never know. The cats will decide who the boss is and it won't be you. lol

blossomhill_2

Sending you best wishes for you and your mum

I took on an elderly female from a lady who went onto a hospice -( she was a one-person cat too and the cat showed that she missed her) and introduced her to the other females - at first I kept her in one room, litter tray food and all, then I started feeding together, top cats eat first so at first the elderly incomer just stuck a paw in and grabbed a bit from the younger one - now she has taken over as top cat after a few fights

I found it best to keep them locked in different rooms at night so whatever social position juggling went on by day they still had their own space at night

I have introduced other cats over the years successfully so I think you will find a way once you see how their interaction goes, with so many years experience you will soon read them

Best of luck with your adventures

Tiddlywinks

Thanks everyone for your ideas - they are really helpful.

Mum had a biopsy today - it's her brain and she's got a scary scar now - we now have to wait and see what type tumour it is... although the consultant has said it looks bad.

My mum's girl is still at her bungalow as my neighbour let me know he had some noisy work to do at the back end of this week so we thought the move and the noise would just make things too traumatic for her. I've been going in for a bit in the morning on my way to the hospital and my OH has been going in on an evening for a bit. We will move her tomorrow evening.

Unfortunately, I don't think Feliway is a go-er as we tried it earlier in the year when mum's girl had a cancer op - we were hoping it would calm her down when she was kept in for recovery. It made no difference at all.

I will keep them in different rooms at first - as I mentioned, they have met many times before and it wasn't exactly love at first sight and press for a meeting between them..... Oh, I am sooo looking forward to this!