Shame of being in debt + Peer pressure to socialise??

CANZON

Oh, and if you do go for any of the places on Hope Street or Hanover Street, I'd recommend pre-drinks in The Philharmonic Pub. The men's toilets are made entirely of marble. ;-) (other than that, it's a standard pub, but the back room is very large and nice to chill out in)

dark^knight

You sound like a sensible 25 year old.

FreshPrincess

Ta CANZON, we won't be eating in Liverpool on that dreaded Saturday, it will be Derby, but I did want some recommendations of places to go with OH (who lives there). I will take your word for it! And yes I also heard about those marble bathrooms in the Philharmonic pub only a week ago from someone else, looks like a cracking pub from the outside.

And thankyou very much, Dark^Knight, very lovely of you to say so! May take a picture of that and show it to the OH! Having been watching Desperate Scousewives together, I think he may start to appreciate me more, shall we say!! Yes I'm in a temporary pickle but jebus imagine having a girlfriend like one of those creatures. If you've not seen it, you only need Google it, a picture says a thousand words.

CANZON

FreshPrincess wrote: »

Ta CANZON, we won't be eating in Liverpool on that dreaded Saturday, it will be Derby, but I did want some recommendations of places to go with OH (who lives there). I will take your word for it! And yes I also heard about those marble bathrooms in the Philharmonic pub only a week ago from someone else, looks like a cracking pub from the outside.

And thankyou very much, Dark^Knight, very lovely of you to say so! May take a picture of that and show it to the OH! Having been watching Desperate Scousewives together, I think he may start to appreciate me more, shall we say!! Yes I'm in a temporary pickle but jebus imagine having a girlfriend like one of those creatures. If you've not seen it, you only need Google it, a picture says a thousand words.

Ahh, no worries - but for Liverpool deffo keep an eye on HOST and Bistro Jacques for offers while they try to keep their crowds that came previously for the theatre.

For Derby, there's a little place at the back of the covered market next to QUAD that's really nice and cheap, kind of arabic food.

I think I know the Japanese place you mentioned - has karaoke upstairs and was very pricey. I had to go on a business event I was at that ended up going there afterwards - was stunned when I saw the bill. Not surprised you want to duck out of that, don't blame you one jot!

hope it all goes well

chrisvaldez

Slightly unrelated but congrats on taking action when you're only in £2k worth of debt. With your head screwed on I can't see you letting it spiral any further, and it's heartening to hear people taking action now rather than later!

cottonhead

Its horrible when you are in debt and trying to avoid people knowing and trying to avoid situations that make it worse. Its good that you stop to think - you obviously want to pay the debt off.
Anyway I apologise in advance if I sound harsh but I am just being honest and no intention to upset you. However I dont think it was a good option to get the others to change the venue. There are more of them, plus they are your OH friends not yours so I dont think its up to you to get them to change the venue they decided on. Anyway the have and thats a sign they must be a good bunch. Its harsh but true - the lack of money is your problem not theirs. I would also question - do you have £60 to spare ? Having it but not wanting to spend it is different from not actually having it or getting into more trouble if you do spend it. If you have it and its not going to mean leaving bills unpaid I would go along ( still be careful what drinks etc you buy and get a lift not a cab etc) and treat it as a special xmas meal for you and your OH - especially if its important to him. If £60 is too muxh then could you pay half and your OH help by paying the other £30? The long and short of it is I think its something for you and your OH to sort out without involving the others.
If it comes to it and its more hassle than its worth then you could have said you had a prior engagement with your family but guess thats not an option now they venue changed etc.
Best of luck and well done for being so switched on. I wish I was at your age and I wouldnt be struggling so much now!

FreshPrincess

cottonhead wrote: »

Its horrible when you are in debt and trying to avoid people knowing and trying to avoid situations that make it worse. Its good that you stop to think - you obviously want to pay the debt off.
Anyway I apologise in advance if I sound harsh but I am just being honest and no intention to upset you. However I dont think it was a good option to get the others to change the venue. There are more of them, plus they are your OH friends not yours so I dont think its up to you to get them to change the venue they decided on. Anyway the have and thats a sign they must be a good bunch. Its harsh but true - the lack of money is your problem not theirs. I would also question - do you have £60 to spare ? Having it but not wanting to spend it is different from not actually having it or getting into more trouble if you do spend it. If you have it and its not going to mean leaving bills unpaid I would go along ( still be careful what drinks etc you buy and get a lift not a cab etc) and treat it as a special xmas meal for you and your OH - especially if its important to him. If £60 is too muxh then could you pay half and your OH help by paying the other £30? The long and short of it is I think its something for you and your OH to sort out without involving the others.
If it comes to it and its more hassle than its worth then you could have said you had a prior engagement with your family but guess thats not an option now they venue changed etc.
Best of luck and well done for being so switched on. I wish I was at your age and I wouldnt be struggling so much now!

I didn't ask that they changed the venue; I told my OH (while crying profusely) to tell them I wasn't going anymore. To which the friend apparantly said on the phone I shouldn't be so silly and they'll just change the venue. Whether there was genuinely no issue, or whether it was said through his teeth - I will never know.

To ask whether I have £60 or not is neither here nor there - anyone with an available balance on their credit card or overdraft technically does have £60 to spend. It seems these days saying "I'm skint" is not enough - you always get people saying "I'll lend you the £20" so you'll go out drinking but they don't understand that I don't want to have to pay it back. Having £60 available doesn't mean it should be spent, as I will be paying that £60 back, with interest. I don't have a job atm so I have no disposable income. Your point would be more applicable had I been in the black, but in this forum we are not. Every penny I spend I have to justify. I already have a McDonald's and eBay 2nd hand clothing habit, and I choose to indulge those low-cost urges instead of big splurges like nights out, to keep myself from further depression.

I don't want my OH to help pay it because I view it as "our money", even though it's not mine. What I mean is = if he helps me out with this one, the chance that I am getting that extra Xmas present is slim. Or if I say "shall we go to xxxxxxx for the day" in January, he's likely to say no, to recoup his losses. I have always been a "quantity" rather than "quality" girl when it comes to socialising. For example I'd rather have 10 x £5 Beer & Burgers in a pub than 1 x £50 fine dining. Always.

Thanks however for your input! It's nice to be getting replies as I am a newbie.

LondonGirl252

FreshPrincess wrote: »

To ask whether I have £60 or not is neither here nor there - anyone with an available balance on their credit card or overdraft technically does have £60 to spend. It seems these days saying "I'm skint" is not enough - you always get people saying "I'll lend you the £20" so you'll go out drinking but they don't understand that I don't want to have to pay it back. Having £60 available doesn't mean it should be spent, as I will be paying that £60 back, with interest. I don't have a job atm so I have no disposable income. Your point would be more applicable had I been in the black, but in this forum we are not. Every penny I spend I have to justify.

I've been having these exact discussions this week, its so hard to keep up with socialising and debt-busting. Ive 3 nights out to go on with £50 in the next 2 weeks and I can happily do that by leaving, early not drinking etc but its the pressure to drink and join in... so I totally feel your pain. My boss also offered to lend me money but I find it hard to explain I dont want to have to pay it back without admiting im in debt..

GAH! Sorry didnt mean to hijack just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel, well done for being so good before the problem gets worse

katsu

I read cottonhead's post as not saying do you have £60 available on a cc but do you have the cash so you could do the night out if you chose to spend less like not drink alcohol or just have a drink? I agree with you on the CC borrowing and assume everyone else post LBM thinks the same... you don't have it if you are looking at taking it from a cc that you can't clear at the end of the month in that situation as it isn't your money it is the promise of debt.

FreshPrincess

I still don't completely understand the concept you two are trying to expain! Lol. Any "cash" I have - bank account and hard pennies, has to go towards my credit cards. I was really hoping to pay my monthly balance off one card completely to avoid paying interest this month, and it's touch and go, just got statement and balance is £1100 ish, and I will have til end of Dec to pay it but it requires me to sell lots on eBay, spend fooook all and also hope I get money for Xmas (doubtful) and borrow (hopefully) some from OH. APR is 24.9% which is high. It's a cashback account so I have been getting vouchers but I don't wish to pay interest (£35) on this one as it's the first time I've had to; it's been an expensive Autumn. I'm already paying interest of 19% on my Tesco card of £1200 which is about £20 a month. I am looking to move out soon but with no cash in the bank to fall back on I have no chance.

Out of interest do you know if I pay 90% of my CC balance off, will they charge me interest on the remaining 10% ... or on the full balance, because I didn't pay it off "in full"? It doesn't make it clear on the statement, and I'm unsure whether all cards have the same policy or whether they're different. This card is a PayPal Mastercard powered by Santander. I know on my bank O/D it charges interest on the full overdrawn amount, even if you're only £5 over your interest free portion.