Funeral Debt Nightmare HELP NEEDED PLEASE !

AppleDap

Hi
My partners mother died a couple of months ago and he is
being chased for the funeral debt even though he didn't arrange
the funeral.
His mother died without any money or provision to pay for
Her funeral. We were and still are not in a financial position to
Pay.
When his mother died, his brother who lives in Scotland
agreed to arrange and pay the funeral as he is financially well
off. This was done by him calling the funeral director and arranging
over the phone and also when he stayed with us, the funeral director came to the house to see him to make final arrangements before
the funeral. No contract was signed, just a gentlemans handshake.

Around 2 weeks after the funeral, a bill came through the door addressed
To my partner. We contacted his brother and the funeral director
To say that it's his brothers bill
Since then his brother has refused to pay and the funeral director
Is threatening court action even though he didn't arrange it.

We're at out wits end and don't know where to turn.
Sorry if I've posted this in the wrong section, but I
Would appreciate some helpful advise.
Many thanks

BlushingRose

Why is your brother -in-law refusing to pay? That seems a it harsh. At the very least he should agreeing to go 50/50 surely?

MrsTinks

Ultimately the agreement was between your brother in law and the funeral director - it will be up to the funeral director to prove your OH owes a debt, which as you have not signed anything I doubt he will be able to do.
I would send a recorded letter to the funeral director explaining that you're sorry to hear he's having problems collecting the payment agreed with your husbands brother. Unfortunately the agreement was between him and the funeral director and you would never given your financial situation have agreed to the funeral at the costs laid out but would have had to settle for a paupers funeral had he not contacted them to make the arrangements and agreed to pay. There were no assets in your MILs estate to settle any debts either so unfortunately you will have to respectfully request he contacts the person with whom his agreement was who is x living at xyz.
As no agreement has ever existed between yourselves and the funeral director you would appreciate if all future correspondance is kept between the creditor and debtor and no further contact is made to yourselves.

RAS

if there is no written contract signed by your partner, then he can defend any court action.

The funeral director's problem is probably that he would have to pursue your brother in law in the Scottish courts and again he has no written contract.

cottonhead

Sorry for your loss, not a nice thing to be fighting about.
Could you not offer to split the bill between all sibblings ? Seems unfair of one person to foot all the costs but if the other brother agreed to pay and you really cant afford it then its only fair he should stick to his word. Just because the agreement took place in your house doenst mean its your responsibility. I guess thats just where the directors knew how to contact you. Who actually instructed the funeral director in what provisions to make ? If it was just your brother in law then its his responsibility. Was your partner present when the decisions were made ? If he had some input it could be seen that he was jointly making the arrangements. Are you sure that no paperwork was signed at all ?
I would calmly ask the brother why he is changing his mind and refusing to pay and explain that its unfair to burden just 1 sibling and could you share 50 / 50.
Hope it works out.

iolanthe07

settle for a paupers funeral

Good advice, Mrs Tine, but for heaven's sake, the term 'paupers funeral' has not been in official use since the century before last!

Basic funerals are arranged and paid for by the local authority for people who die with absolutely no assets.

BlushingRose

I've just found this, I don;t know if it's of any use?

"You may be able to apply for a Social Fund Funeral Payment to help with funeral costs and we have information on who may be eligible and how to make a claim. Payment can only be authorised by the Department of Work and Pensions who can be contacted at https://www.dwp.gov.uk or 020 7712 2171."

MrsTinks

iolanthe07 wrote: »

settle for a paupers funeral

Good advice, Mrs Tine, but for heaven's sake, the term 'paupers funeral' has not been in official use since the century before last!

Basic funerals are arranged and paid for by the local authority for people who die with absolutely no assets.

I'M OLD :rotfl: You'll just have to put up with me! :P