COMPLAINT letter - please can you guys check it please..

TheGame7

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rosysparkle

The only thing I can't see from your letter is what you want PCWorld to do to compensate you.

I always find that when writing a complaint letter, I get better results if I make it clear what I expect from them, be it an apology, a refund of £x or a replacement item.

dmg24

Your letter is far too long to be taken seriously. I would be much more succinct, and just stick to the facts.

A good complaint letter should have short paragraphs and preferably be no more than page, anymore and people lose interest.

TheGame7

..........

tomstickland

I've had a quick scan through. My thoughts are that you need to shorten it and remove all the colloqialisms ("you see" etc).
Don't say that you are "furious", wind in the emotional element. It needs to read like a clear and direct letter from someone who wants some action.

Maybe summarise the whole experience on one paragraph and then go through the details after that. You want the reader to quickly get the picture or else they'll not read it properly.

You need to spend a few days working on it. Do a bit each evening and then read it again from scratch the next evening.