So worried about DD and school, reassurance?

pulliptears

This could be long, for which I apologise.....

In September last year DD (14) had an accident, it was a one in a million thing where she was carrying something at school for a teacher (which she really shouldn't have been carrying but thats for a thread in its own right) when she tore the nerves in her neck resulting in total paralysis of her left arm. It took almost 12 months of physio and trips back and forth to hospital to get her back to normality and we were assured that the chances of it every happening again were minimal.

Over the summer she joined the ATC and had a great time (taking care not to hurt her arm obviously!). She managed to fall down a rabbit hole on a night exercise and, on extracting herself from said rabbit hole whacked her knee on a post. Much ribbing ensued, both from her Sgt and us (nicknamed her Alice!) but as the swelling went down quickly we weren't concerned. Fast forward a week or two and the knee is massively swollen, she is sent for an x-ray and its fractured (Oh the guilt!). As it was by then 3 weeks old they didn't plaster, just gave her crutches. She had an MRI to rule out ligament damage and managed to hand back her crutches after 3 weeks.

She's now been off crutches for 2 weeks and the knee still swells with any walking she does. Of course I took her straight back to our GP who agreed it was full of fluid and advised rest. He said should it not sort itself with rest in 2 weeks its going to need draining. That appointment is now a week away.

The School sent her home on Tuesday last week and she returned to school today. She made it to lunch time before student services called me and asked me to come and collect her as it was huge again. They tell me that they simply can't have her in school with the knee as it is.

I'm waiting for her head of year to call me now to try and arrange some work for her again as I can't see her back in school again this week but I'm very very worried now. She lost so much time last year with the arm injury and now this? I had a battle with the School last year over getting work for her and I can see it happening again now.

Has anyone else experienced kids absent for long periods and what did you do/what help did you get? She is working on some online maths but I'm so scared she will fall too far behind now to catch up (although credit to her she did make up all she missed last year and remained in top set for all subjects).

dizziblonde

At the moment - it's two weeks before the Christmas holidays, tinselitis will be striking with a vengeance and she's likely to be missing not very much in the way of actual work being done (especially the final week when the entire timetable seems to go to pot anyway). Then you'll be into the holidays which is potentially another good couple of weeks to recuperate it anyway... all she's likely to be missing are end of term assessments as well, so in a way, she's picked a good time of year to do it really ;-) !

If you can get work from the school - great, if not - try things like BBC revisewise for her appropriate keystage for things for her to do (most of the links I know of are KS2 based unfortunately), but particularly if she's a bright kid, she'll be fine - honest!

Edited to add cos I've just thought of it - is it worth contacting the school to see if she can go in on a restricted timetable as you're concerned about her absence levels? So possibly half-days or targetting her weaker subjects to keep her up to speed (would require parental taxi duties unfortunately I guess) if her leg's not up to full days?

pulliptears

dizziblonde wrote: »

At the moment - it's two weeks before the Christmas holidays, tinselitis will be striking with a vengeance and she's likely to be missing not very much in the way of actual work being done (especially the final week when the entire timetable seems to go to pot anyway). Then you'll be into the holidays which is potentially another good couple of weeks to recuperate it anyway... all she's likely to be missing are end of term assessments as well, so in a way, she's picked a good time of year to do it really ;-) !

If you can get work from the school - great, if not - try things like BBC revisewise for her appropriate keystage for things for her to do (most of the links I know of are KS2 based unfortunately), but particularly if she's a bright kid, she'll be fine - honest!

Edited to add cos I've just thought of it - is it worth contacting the school to see if she can go in on a restricted timetable as you're concerned about her absence levels? So possibly half-days or targetting her weaker subjects to keep her up to speed (would require parental taxi duties unfortunately I guess) if her leg's not up to full days?

That is actually very reassuring, I hadn't considered how close Christmas was actually. I'm still waiting for a call from School about all this but to be honest with the previous track record I'll be amazed if I get one.
Restricted timetables are a good idea, she did that for a while after her arm injury and it seemed to work out ok. The only issue I can see is that she's only been in for a half day today before her knee swelled. I don't mind being a taxi for a while as long as she isn't missing out on her education. Something to mention when I speak to the school though so thank you!

Oldernotwiser

Can you or your partner educate her at home?

pulliptears

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Can you or your partner educate her at home?

I could try, but my main skills lie in Art and English, my Maths is awful unfortunately. Its OH who is the mathematical whizz and he works in Coventry so doesn't get in until 7.30 - 8pm of an evening. Its worth considering though and I've had a chat about where DD is currently at in which subjects so I can try and go through a few things with her.

Just seems a never ending cycle of blooming injury with her lol

minimacka

My son was off school from last September until this September he is in year 10 now so it started in year 9, the thing that worried us the most was how strange he got around people his own age, it was as if he didnt know how to talk to them anymore and felt very out of it. Being a boy he didnt bring many friends home and spoke to his friends over the internet and on his games. I would say to you to invite as many friends round to see her as possible to keep up with the gossip at school and also so that she still feels apart of it all. As for school his grades were not affected really, at the end of year 9 when they were all sitting mock exams to see what set they were going to be in they just put him in the set he was before he was ill. He did do some homework but sometimes he just felt so ill that he didnt want to do it and i didnt make him to be honest. His school had been fantastic, if he didnt feel like he could sit though a whole lesson they had a room he could go to with teachers in for help, he had a pass and all the teacher knew he could leave the lesson at any time. He had a early lunch pass too so that he and a friend could go in first which made a difference to him. I went and spoke to his form tutor who emailed all his teachers for homework, maybe you could arrange to do this. I wish i hadnt worried as much about school work and his grades, i had so much to worry about his illness and school i felt like i could cry all the time but please try not to worry about school, whats the worst that could happen she will have to re-take some exams which to be honest my son is doing anyway. It seems as though your daughter is bright anyway to keep in the sets that she was in last year and to of caught up with her work from last year.

*Robin*

OP, Can't you borrow a wheel chair from the Red Cross?

Your daughter isn't ill as such; simply must keep her weight off that leg.

Surely these days the school should be able to accommodate a pupil who needs to use a wheel chair?

pulliptears

*Robin* wrote: »

OP, Can't you borrow a wheel chair from the Red Cross?

Your daughter isn't ill as such; simply must keep her weight off that leg.

Surely these days the school should be able to accommodate a pupil who needs to use a wheel chair?

To be honest thats something we hadn't thought of. When she handed back the crutches the hospital consultant said she could return to normal activity, I did question this because as I mentioned DD is an Air Cadet so normal for her is drill and crawling around long grass on exercise. Consultant said that was fine - obviously it wasn't.

Our own GP advised her to take up something more ladylike in the interim much to DD's amusement, but he did say primarily to rest it for now. We didn't think that the simple action of walking around at school would have the effect it has so obviously I need to speak to him again before I see him next week. We did arrange a lift pass for her so todays swelling is just from moving from class to class.

Part of the issue seems to stem from the previous injury - she was banned from P.E and exercise for so long returning to full fitness has been hard for her. We did ask her P.E teacher to show her some exercises to help strengthen the muscles she has neglected over the last 12 months, this was met with a "I don't really know any" from a disinterested P.E Teacher :eek:

pulliptears

minimacka wrote: »

My son was off school from last September until this September he is in year 10 now so it started in year 9, the thing that worried us the most was how strange he got around people his own age, it was as if he didnt know how to talk to them anymore and felt very out of it. Being a boy he didnt bring many friends home and spoke to his friends over the internet and on his games. I would say to you to invite as many friends round to see her as possible to keep up with the gossip at school and also so that she still feels apart of it all. As for school his grades were not affected really, at the end of year 9 when they were all sitting mock exams to see what set they were going to be in they just put him in the set he was before he was ill. He did do some homework but sometimes he just felt so ill that he didnt want to do it and i didnt make him to be honest. His school had been fantastic, if he didnt feel like he could sit though a whole lesson they had a room he could go to with teachers in for help, he had a pass and all the teacher knew he could leave the lesson at any time. He had a early lunch pass too so that he and a friend could go in first which made a difference to him. I went and spoke to his form tutor who emailed all his teachers for homework, maybe you could arrange to do this. I wish i hadnt worried as much about school work and his grades, i had so much to worry about his illness and school i felt like i could cry all the time but please try not to worry about school, whats the worst that could happen she will have to re-take some exams which to be honest my son is doing anyway. It seems as though your daughter is bright anyway to keep in the sets that she was in last year and to of caught up with her work from last year.

Thanks for that hun, another reassurance. I feel like getting work and assistance from the school is akin to pulling teeth though, despite being promised a call it still hasn't come

Hopefully this will all solve itself before the start of next term but its so frustrating to feel like I have no support from them at all. She is a bright kid and we will do what we can at home, I just feel guilty that she's not there.

I hope your boy is ok now x

Mojisola

If the school is fully set up for wheelchair use - try that.

If not, contact the out of school tuition service - they should provide a home tutor if she can't get to school. Aim for a tutor who specialises in the subjects you're weak in and then you can do other work with her.

minimacka

Can you make a appointment with "pupil support" as it is called at my sons school, she arranged all the passes he needed and emailed all the teachers in the relevant subjects with updates with my son's progress, he went into school when he could even if it was just for 1 hour. He was tube fed for nearly 3 months and at first they told me he couldnt go to school and i went mad with them and told them that he could attach his food himself and that they were discriminating against him and they changed there mind. I think they thought it was a lot worse than it actually was. He carried a backpack with his pump and food and just attached it to his feeding tube through his nose at lunchtime. After that they couldnt do enough for him. I would certainly push this further so that she could maybe go into school in a wheelchair like Robin said, they cannot discriminate against any pupil nowadays. Keep pushing with the school because if you dont then no one will, keep your chin up and remember you are doing this because you are a good parent not one who doesnt give a dam .
Oh yes and about home tuition they have to provide 5 hours a week home tutoring so you could look into that.