Please delete

flump345

Thank you for your replies.

Sagz_2

I can understand you being annoyed at not being told where your children were staying but do you have reason to suspect their Dad would not ensure they were safe?

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

flump345 wrote: »

Help!

Split up with my kids Dad three months ago, they have been staying with him every other weekend.

Tonight I find out they have stayed at her house over night. He is not in a relationship (When asked he said not yet...) with this woman but they spend time together every time he has the children. She has her own children, I have never met her and only heard of her since we split.

I am concerned for their safety, I do not know this person, I have no reason to think she has done any thing bad towards my children. At the same time she could be anyone, and could have any type of past.

We also made a verbal agreement that if the children were to stay any where other than his flat, he would give me the address. This has now been broken.

I text the children when they are there (They are two and one) to say I love them and say goodnight. He did not choose to tell me then. I only saw tonight on their arrival home an hour late. I noticed my sons travel cot in his car. I asked if they stayed with him at his house and his reply was yes. I asked again and he said they were invited to a sleepover at xxxxx house. The reason he didn't tell me was because it slipped my mind.

Can I go to a solicitor and get a letter/ order stopping over night contact because as far as I am concerned this is not about their safety. This person is new in his life and now theirs. Did they sleep in beds? Were they scared? Were they safe? Were they in a in a house where the medicine is locked away or the bleach out the way?

Can any one advise me?

Please

Sorry but you can't stop over night access because you dont know the lady. Their father is there and you clearly trust him (or you wouldnt let the kids stay in the first place) and his judgement. Unless you have definite proof there isn't really much you can do - Same as he can't stop who you have stay at your house

What you CAN do though is ask for the address of where the children are staying to calm your fears - but even then there's nothing stopping the lady staying at his house (I assume you know his address)

The lady already has kids - Why would you assume her house is unsafe?

You could try asking to meet her - but even then there is no law to say you HAVE the right to.

Is your ex not telling you he is with someone because he fears your reaction?

Sorry this isnt the answer you wanted

balletshoes

flump, take a moment and turn the tables. If you and your children were invited to stay over at one of your friends houses for one night, would you expect your ex to demand the address and would you think to phone him to tell him you weren't at home with the children overnight?

If you trust your ex to take care of his children when he has overnight access, do that, trust him.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

I'm sorry but you don't get to dictate who your childrens father introduces them to. It is assumed that whilst in his care they are safe. Neither can he object to the children seeing or meeting your boyfriend.

What do you mean when you say you text them to say goodnight. Surely they don't understand texts at 2 and 1.

I'd be more concerned about the lateness, did he say why he was an hour late returning them.

Carl31

Sounds like your upset that their dad might have a new lady more than anything

If your ex has parental responsibility, theres nowt you can do unless you have evidence theyre at risk

Person_one

How do you text a one and a two year old?

grey_lady

Sorry but I disagree with the above posters, there is no way I would let such small children spend the night in a strangers house, sounds like daddy can't be arsed to look after the children himself. Childrens wellbeing and safety comes above fathers or mothers rights in my book.

Tiddlywinks

You send texts to a 1 and 2 year old? I am really confused about this unless your children are heading towards MENSA material.

You need to take a breath and analyse exactly what has upset you... his introducing the kids to another woman, his keeping the kids out overnight at a strange house or whatever.

Do you have any reason to believe that your ex will not have your children's best interests at heart? I think you are over-reacting somewhat.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

grey_lady wrote: »

Sorry but I disagree with the above posters, there is no way I would let such small children spend the night in a strangers house, sounds like daddy can't be arsed to look after the children himself. Childrens wellbeing and safety comes above fathers or mothers rights in my book.

But in the eyes of the law the father has done nothing wrong and the OP can not stop access because of this (Which was her original question) she can be unhappy about it all she likes but unless she has proof the child are at risk then unfortunatley it will be viewed as potentially being jealous of the new relationship

As mentioned - OP could ask for the address to calm her fears BUT if the lady doesnt want OP knowing her address then the kids can always stop at the dads and the lady join them there are his house (OP edoesnt just say its because they are staying elsewhere - she also mentions its because she doesnt know the lady)

Emmzi

are you rpoviding HIM with a list of people and locations so he can potentially veto them?