What does family mean to you?

hollylangman37

balletshoes wrote: »

My family are my blood relatives and my sisters' husbands. They are the ones above anyone else I can go to when I need help, support and advice, and they know they can rely on me for the same thing. I would be lost without them.
I don't think of my OH's blood relatives as my family - they are his family . He is nowhere near as close to his family as I am to mine, and doesn't go to them or rely on them for anything at all.

Is that what you meant OP?

Along those lines, yes. I was just interested to see what everyone thought as we all come from different backgrounds and have different perspectives on who are our family, what the family is there for?

onlyroz

Gillyx wrote: »

Pretty much this. Just because people are family it doesn't mean they should get a free pass.

I agree with this. You should love and respect a person because you value them and their input - not JUST because they're your mum/sister/uncle/cousin etc. Respect and love must be earned in my book. So if mum/sister/uncle/cousin moans that you never visit or phone them, perhaps they should consider how many times they've phoned or visited you recently.

I have a good relationship with my parents - probably better than most - and I hope my kids have as good a relationship with me as they grow into adults. But I don't think the love of your children is an automatic right.

Elle7

I've been thinking about this today, oddly enough.

I don't know what family means to me. I am highly jealous of those who have one, and have that love and the feeling of always belonging. I don't ever feel that I belong anywhere, or that anyone would care should something happen to me. I am in turmoil at this time of year...I hate being alone, but everyone goes back to their families, and mine never wanted me.

So I guess for me family is something I never had, probably never will, and for that reason have always wanted. It might be idealistic, but even having some family that have issues must be preferable to having nothing at all. I have to do all my learning, and all my growing, myself - there is no one to catch me if I fall. So that's my definition...someone who'll catch you if you fall.

pmarsh1986

The ones that are there for me and vice versa. I don't count most of my aunts and uncles, cousins etc as my family but relatives. My mum, dad, brothers, SILs, nieces and nephew and just as importantly my friends are my main family.

findingmyway_2

My family are both my immediate family, grandparents and friends.

I absolutely love my parents and my two sister and although we are on three different continents and do not get to see/speak to each other as much, I know that they are just a phone call away and would drop anything for me. I would do the same for them. Not out of obligation but because I love them so deeply.

I would do this for my friends as well, and actually have. However, I have been left feeling that my friends are often less reliable as your family. I try and choose my friends carefully, unfortunately I still often find myself disappointed.

Being so far away from my family has actually made me realise just how important they are to me and I will be moving back to the UK so I can be closer to them.

Hermia

Family are a nightmare! My dad emigrated to the UK partly to get away from his family. After he died they got in contact and now I realise why he ran away! They are vile people and I did not give them my new contact details when I moved. My mum's family make me very happy that I don't have any siblings. They are close, but in a very unhealthy way and spend all their time making each other unhappy. At one point my dad banned her from seeing them because she was in tears every day.

I think family is what you make it.

pinkclouds

hollylangman37 wrote: »

I was having a chat with some friends the other day and found it interesting how we all defined what family meant to us differently.

So what does it mean to you?

I use the term "family" in two main ways. The first one is: *immediate family*, which these days is me, hubby and our kids. The second one is: *extended family*, which is every blood relation (e.g. sibling, cousin) or equivalent thereof (i.e. it is irrelevant whether the person's parents had them naturally or by adoption), immediate relative by marriage (e.g. aunt's husband but not aunt's husband's "blood relations") and very close but unrelated people (e.g. my kids' godfather).

I suppose people can tell which meaning I am trying to convey by the context around the word "family" when I am talking about it. Thinking about it, I guess the key words are typically: "our" (immediate), "my" (my side), "your" (his side) and "the" (extended).

balletshoes

Elle7 wrote: »

I've been thinking about this today, oddly enough.

I don't know what family means to me. I am highly jealous of those who have one, and have that love and the feeling of always belonging. I don't ever feel that I belong anywhere, or that anyone would care should something happen to me. I am in turmoil at this time of year...I hate being alone, but everyone goes back to their families, and mine never wanted me.

So I guess for me family is something I never had, probably never will, and for that reason have always wanted. It might be idealistic, but even having some family that have issues must be preferable to having nothing at all. I have to do all my learning, and all my growing, myself - there is no one to catch me if I fall. So that's my definition...someone who'll catch you if you fall.

Aw Elle thats so sad - do you have good friends around you?

POPPYOSCAR

Elle7 wrote: »

I've been thinking about this today, oddly enough.

I don't know what family means to me. I am highly jealous of those who have one, and have that love and the feeling of always belonging. I don't ever feel that I belong anywhere, or that anyone would care should something happen to me. I am in turmoil at this time of year...I hate being alone, but everyone goes back to their families, and mine never wanted me.

So I guess for me family is something I never had, probably never will, and for that reason have always wanted. It might be idealistic, but even having some family that have issues must be preferable to having nothing at all. I have to do all my learning, and all my growing, myself - there is no one to catch me if I fall. So that's my definition...someone who'll catch you if you fall.

Not always.

Some are better of without family around them. Some have had to cut themselves off from family in order to lead a peaceful life.

Bufger

Family to me:

A busy house, an amazing christmas, playing in parks, adults acting like children, children acting like adults, play fights, real fights, laughter like you've never heard, heartbreak like you'd never imagine, support, unconditional love.

There really is nothing like it to me. I'm the kind of person that would love a big house in the country full of kids and extended family. And in the evening a nice cold quiet beer near an open fire.

I dont want much really! better get saving..