Very fussy 4 yr old won't eat much!

rosie383

I do keep trying her with things, but it can be hard! I agree with the 17-19 times to try things tho.
She will try things sometimes, but sometimes it takes a lot of bribery (things like an extra bedtime story for example). I will put only 1 of a new thing on her plate. This week it was a green bean- just the one, and I wanted her to eat half of it at least. She did eventually put it in her mouth, and tried to chew it, but she ended up spitting it into the bin (TBH even DD1 and I didn't like them very much, they didn't taste very nice!!). I couldn't argue with that, and because she tried it, I was happy enough. I did have baby corn on her plate too, so she wasn't veg-less at that meal!
That is a good idea Katkin..... I should put a veg that she does like on the plate, and add a wee bit of what I want her to try.

Fruball

Katkin wrote: »

Is she at full time school yet? Can i recommend that if she is or when she goes (& if its still an issue then),and you can afford it, make her have school meals. She may well eat better with her peers than with you. It would be interesting to see what she would do if she goes to someone elses house for a meal. It used to shock me what my children would eat if other people had cooked and put it in front of them.

You do sound quite worried. Please go see the GP or HV for some advice or just to put your mind at rest.

Totally agree with the school dinners thing... My two do eat more since they started having them

I think most of us have been thru stages like that with our kids

DD1 is fussy, DD2 isn't in the slightest bit fussy but neither will eat 'wet food' :rotfl: ie in a sauce so casseroles and hiding things isn't possible.

They both get a varied diet but not as much as I would like.

I would make as little of it as you can... I made the mistake of saying to DD1... "Look, your sister eats everything and you won't even try it"... This has made her worse because she now considers herself as 'the one who doesn't like stuff' whereas her sister now will try absolutely anything and everything and is a stone heavier than her TWIN sister :eek:

From what you have written, it sounds to me like she is getting what she needs. Re smoothies - when mine were little, if they were too tired at teatime to eat (it happens :cool: ) then I made them smoothies and added soaked almonds for extra protein - makes the smoothie lovely and creamy and they didn't have a clue You could try that.

Don't stop putting things on her plate that she doesn't like, just put less of it so it doesn't seem like such a mammoth task to eat it. I stopped giving DD1 things she didn't like to avoid a fuss but with hindsight I think that was a mistake.

Kids love to dip things so you could make up a puree of whatever, and let her dip her favourite things into it. My two have always eaten houmous since they were babies - If I were to introduce that now, no doubt DD1 would turn her nose up :rotfl:

Also, let her pick at your food if she sees something she wants to try - I always ask DDs if they want to try my dinner (i often have something different as I love casseroles etc. Even Miss Fussyknickers will try a bit of carrot or chicken from my casserole now!

I was a nanny for many years and never had a fussy eater until DD1... and I do think I contributed to by the way I handled it altho she is MUCH better than she used to be since I chilled out a bit.

rosie383

Frugal wrote: »

Totally agree with the school dinners thing... My two do eat more since they started having them

I think most of us have been thru stages like that with our kids

DD1 is fussy, DD2 isn't in the slightest bit fussy but neither will eat 'wet food' :rotfl: ie in a sauce so casseroles and hiding things isn't possible.

They both get a varied diet but not as much as I would like.

I would make as little of it as you can... I made the mistake of saying to DD1... "Look, your sister eats everything and you won't even try it"... This has made her worse because she now considers herself as 'the one who doesn't like stuff' whereas her sister now will try absolutely anything and everything and is a stone heavier than her TWIN sister :eek:

From what you have written, it sounds to me like she is getting what she needs. Re smoothies - when mine were little, if they were too tired at teatime to eat (it happens :cool: ) then I made them smoothies and added soaked almonds for extra protein - makes the smoothie lovely and creamy and they didn't have a clue You could try that.

Don't stop putting things on her plate that she doesn't like, just put less of it so it doesn't seem like such a mammoth task to eat it. I stopped giving DD1 things she didn't like to avoid a fuss but with hindsight I think that was a mistake.

Kids love to dip things so you could make up a puree of whatever, and let her dip her favourite things into it. My two have always eaten houmous since they were babies - If I were to introduce that now, no doubt DD1 would turn her nose up :rotfl:

Also, let her pick at your food if she sees something she wants to try - I always ask DDs if they want to try my dinner (i often have something different as I love casseroles etc. Even Miss Fussyknickers will try a bit of carrot or chicken from my casserole now!

I was a nanny for many years and never had a fussy eater until DD1... and I do think I contributed to by the way I handled it altho she is MUCH better than she used to be since I chilled out a bit.

We don't get free school meals, and much too expensive compared to a pack lunch.
I always offer her what I am eating, but usually she will only try it if it is something she likes the look of. I won't give up tho. She point blank refused to eat baked beans, and, as they are healthy and filling, and something that almost every kid will eat, I used to occasionally get her to eat 1 from my plate. Then she managed to have 1 tsp of beans, and at the weekend, she ate 3 tsp of beans! I could tell from her face that she though they were ok tasting, so I will keep giving her wee bits of them, until she gets into her head that it is a tasty food that she likes!

Fruball

We have to pay for school meals but the girls are really starting to enjoy choosing things from the menu now and eating more variety... but I know what you mean, it does work out more expensive, esp as I usually cook for them in the evening too! Altho sometimes I do give them sandwiches or soup, boiled dippy egg etc.

I am sure your DD will change her eating habits over time

valk_scot

rosie383 wrote: »

We don't get free school meals, and much too expensive compared to a pack lunch.
I always offer her what I am eating, but usually she will only try it if it is something she likes the look of. I won't give up tho. She point blank refused to eat baked beans, and, as they are healthy and filling, and something that almost every kid will eat, I used to occasionally get her to eat 1 from my plate. Then she managed to have 1 tsp of beans, and at the weekend, she ate 3 tsp of beans! I could tell from her face that she though they were ok tasting, so I will keep giving her wee bits of them, until she gets into her head that it is a tasty food that she likes!

My DD doesn't like baked beans. TBH it never entered my head to try to persuade her otherwise...after all, there's things I'm not fond of either and I'd get a bit !!!!ed off if my OH kept on trying to feed me bits of them off his plate every time he ate them. DD eats a good range of other foods so I gave her extra of something else to replace the beans.

My DS on the other hand would have eaten baked beans poured over pasta for every meal. He would only eat three kinds of veg, no soups or stews, didn't like unidentifiable sloppy meals and was pernickity about fruit. He looked good and healthy though so I just mentally ticked the boxes as to overall quality of input and left him alone. Then around puberty his taste buds seemed to undergo a major transformation and now he will try anything with no prompting whatsoever and likes most foods. I don't think it's beneficial to harrass kids at mealtimes actually and to watch and comment on what they're eating at every meal. It would make anyone uncomfortable and bolshy tbh, and meals are meant to be pleasant social occassions. By all means keep an eye on what she's eating and produce new things, but don't force her or nag her.

Cat501

It does sound like she will eat a really good range of food compared to a lot of children that age, just not in very big portions? My DS is nearly 14 and still won't eat veg (except carrots in soup or a cottage pie, or tinned toms in a sauce), only tried baked beans a couple of months ago (and now loves them *sigh*). DDs on the other hand have always loved their veg. DD1 had a very small appetite as a small child and it worried me hugely, by the time I got to DS I was a lot more chilled about things.

Actually, being honest, by that time I was too exhausted to fuss!

Oh that thing of liking something one day and hating it the next - just the memory of that makes me tense up in frustration!:mad:

Does she like cheese, or yoghurt?

At 4 she's obviously too young to be helping chop food etc, but does she like to pick out things with a spoon and put them on a plate herself, maybe making patterns or something? I know it's a faff but it might help, and she may eat some of the things that her friends' parents have got her to eat that way.

Mostly though, try not to worry (easier said than done I know!), it sounds like she really is eating a lot better than many kids that age, and as long as she's healthy and the HV thinks she's ok then I'm sure she is. You sound like a GREAT mum x

cheeswright

have you considered having one meal a week as a whole family "try something new" night
include your husband as his refusal to not eat anything without a sauce is setting a very poor example

make EVERYBODY step outside their comfort zone..

even if its just a small portion starter - and you can even have a rating system for everyone to join in and see if it scores high enough to go on the family menu
also people can suggest ways it might be improved if eated again - eg - would be better in sauce, with something else, inside the dog !

especially if every one gets to suggest a new thing in turn
so it becomes a game - and a challeng to think of new things
our house started to fill up with unexpected children for tea after a while on this and interesting squabbles about who got to eat the tentacles !!!
so we had to swap it for "mystery pie night" which is a whole other story....

rosie383

valk_scot wrote: »

My DD doesn't like baked beans. TBH it never entered my head to try to persuade her otherwise...after all, there's things I'm not fond of either and I'd get a bit !!!!ed off if my OH kept on trying to feed me bits of them off his plate every time he ate them. DD eats a good range of other foods so I gave her extra of something else to replace the beans.

My DS on the other hand would have eaten baked beans poured over pasta for every meal. He would only eat three kinds of veg, no soups or stews, didn't like unidentifiable sloppy meals and was pernickity about fruit. He looked good and healthy though so I just mentally ticked the boxes as to overall quality of input and left him alone. Then around puberty his taste buds seemed to undergo a major transformation and now he will try anything with no prompting whatsoever and likes most foods. I don't think it's beneficial to harrass kids at mealtimes actually and to watch and comment on what they're eating at every meal. It would make anyone uncomfortable and bolshy tbh, and meals are meant to be pleasant social occassions. By all means keep an eye on what she's eating and produce new things, but don't force her or nag her.

I am not forcing her or nagging her, I am just trying to encourage her! If I just let her refuse every single food that she 'didn't want', then she would eat hardly anything. If I know she really doesn't like something, then I leave it. If it is one of those' like it one day- won't eat it a week later', then I will get her to try it again. I would never force them to eat something that they really dislike. I wouldn't do so myself, I just know that at the mo, she is pushing the limits, to see how far she can go.

rosie383

Going to have to sign off now for a while, as she had a tantrum over wanting to eat the wee cake that she made at school, before she had her dinner. I warned her that she wouldn't get to do her dressing-up games on the PC if she didn't stop screaming, but she just screamed for half an hour!!
She has calmed down now, but it is just easier for me to put it away completely, rather than her keep fighting with me to get on it!!! I will not give in!

XYZ1000

Ah Rosie I feel your pain! My Ds is 14 and still a pain to cook for as he is fussy. It is frustrating. It can be hard enough to get one meal on the table of an evening let alone doing two differant ones!!
It tends to get harder as they have their own money and can just stop by the shop and get chips ect.

I don't have any magic plan to fix am afraid. Can say that a reward system worked well a few years back. He wanted the lastest craze of healies, so I agreed on the condition he tried 10 new foods. Of course he did as he wanted to get the healies!

I am not suggesting to that extreme but maybe earning stickers on a star chart, then when she has so many extra trip to the park or swimming or whatever you would do anyhow! You can get a way with it at 4 yrs.!
Just trying to turn it into a positive experience where she gets lots of attention when she does well eating but not getting into it if she doesn't. Little ones often just want your atention and dont care how they go about getting it from you. Finger food chopped up at snack times is a good way to try new foods eg rasins or chopped raw carrot, pieces of cheese ect. That way you havn't had to go through the ordeal of cooking it.
You sound I like you are doing a great job. Paddys at 4 yrs are hard to handle yes but much more easier than when they are 9 or 10!
hth