Just a whinge really...too much to do & not enough time

brians_daughter

Ah, i am whinging. sorry, i dont do it often and feel bad when i do.

I am super orgainsed, down to the minute. You could ask me (for example) what i will be doing at 5.34 on Sunday and i bet i could tell you but i just do not have enough hours in my day nor days in the week. I am currently sat in back to back traffic writting this, so its not even as if i am 'wasting time' lol

I am (sadly from my POV) a single parent to 4 children, i work usually 45-50 hours a week, i am also in my last year (full time) studying for a degree (with a further year of post grad to look forward to) and simply do not have time to turn around.

I guess i am asking if anyone has any tips/hints to make me more efficient?

I batch cook 1/2 day a week so we have meals all ready in the freezer ready to go for the next 7 days (couldnt do ready meals if i wanted to as some of my children have allergies so always need to cook from scratch)

The kids are on school/nursery dinners then i dont have to worry about packed lunches.

The kids are all in a routine.

I am in a routine. Every spare minute is spent studyng (last night it ws 3am before i went to bed due to uni work and i was up at 6, but i dont need much slep so thats a blessing)

My god send of a mother does all our washing and ironing as 'she likes ironing' , has just retired and is 'bored' !!!!!! is all that about lol!?:rotfl::rotfl:

I always spend at least an hour in the morning just 'being' with my children and the same in the evening. Then they all get a 10-15 min bedtime story/chat 1-2-1 with me.

I work 12 hour nights so i can combine study into my working hours

I always have provided for my own so to speak and feel a sense of pride in that. I am lucky enough to have a fabulous ex hubby who is a great friend and has the children when he can (sometimes sees them everyday sometimes not for 10 days at a time. I hasten to add this is due to his job and the amount of travelling sometimes involved, not his lack of parental responsibility)


The only ways i can see are

1. Stop studying - dont want to do as my last deadline is 4th April
2. Less time with the kids - deffo not
3. Work less hours - impossible i have a mortgage to pay! I
4. Hide in a cave for the rest of my life and chill out - wonderful idea, but totally impractical.


So, moan over and to end on a positive note can anyone give me any tips or hints that may assist me in finding an extra 2 days in a week :):)

liney

If things don't change they'll stay the same...obviously.

SO Affairs to reduce your outgoings in order to work less is my only suggestion.

make_me_wise

:beer:

Oh my god, I am in awe of you. When you finally get home tonight give yourself a huge pat on the back for all you have achieved. Your children sound as if they have a superb mum who meets their every need and is setting them an exceptionally good example of how to be hard working and able.

I do worry that in your efforts to provide for everyone else you do so at your own expense, alot of the time. You may not need much sleep but I doubt anyone could keep up this relentless routine without it having an adverse effect on their health at some point. Try to at least plan something into each day which enables you to spoil yourself and relax. Even if it is only for a short time.

It is very rare for me to be so impressed by someone but you are worthy of a :T

balletshoes

OP - you are amazing and I take my hat off to you. From what you've posted here, you sound like you are managing everything you need to manage, and the end is almost in sight.

When you have finished studying, and have passed with flying colours, we will all celebrate with you :beer:!

Plans_all_plans

Do uni know about your situation? I understand if you don't want everyone knowing your business, but student services/your personal tutor can be very supportive if you go to them. Just things like if you ever need an extension on your deadlines etc then they can help.

Also, money wise, they have a fund called the access to learning fund at universities and so if you are having money issues and are having to work 45-50 hours a week to provide - to the detriment of your studies - it may be worth applying for it so you can cut down your time spent at work.

In terms of your overall efficency, it sounds like there's not much else you can do! Do the kids help out as much as they can with things like cleaning etc?

brians_daughter

Thanks for all your words of encouragment It wont let me multi quote so here goes....

Linley - thanks, i post SOAs on a regular basis. the only possible thing i could cut back on is out satelitte TV and to be honest the kids are so good and get so much out if it i would feel mean in getting rid of it (we do get it half price through sky friend sand family tho!) I will (23rd March) be debt free - thats no student loans, no cc's, no loans, no nothing minus my mortgage.

Make me wise... illness isnt an option, i have a ship to captain lol. The thing thats driving me on is i am so close to the finish line i can almost taste it. My diss is well under way now 7500 of 10000 words completed so its got to get easier (i hope)

balletshoes - thanks for your encouragement - i need it of late

plans_all_plans - i cannot access the ALF as i do not claim tax credits (although we are more than entitled) i was told unless we were in receipt of full entitlements i would not be successful. No offence to anyone who claims TC but i wasnt brought up that way. I was raised with a strong ethic of you provide for your own by whatever legal means you can, couple this with the already negative notions often impossed upon single parents I am determined to do all i can to be self sufficient, TBH i would be not much worse off money wise if i worked 16 hours and claimed tc but that would just be too easy lol. My eldest helps out too much as it is TBH, my younger chuldren are 4,3 (almost) and 9 months so not much they can do as of yet apart from tidy toys etc.

Thanks all, i am home at least now and my eldest son had a cuppa and a hobnob waiting for me, bless his coton ones

Plans_all_plans

Who told you that about the tax credits and ALF? You don't need to claim tax credits to get the Access to Learning Fund. I got money through it and I was just a full time student, with a part time wage and didn't claim any benefits whatsoever. The ALF is a pot of money the uni have for students, it's not a state benefit. I think you would be doing yourself a disservice if you don't at least apply.

Luciferswench

If you are entitled to claim tax credits then you should.

brians_daughter

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

Who told you that about the tax credits and ALF? You don't need to claim tax credits to get the Access to Learning Fund. I got money through it and I was just a full time student, with a part time wage and didn't claim any benefits whatsoever. The ALF is a pot of money the uni have for students, it's not a state benefit. I think you would be doing yourself a disservice if you don't at least apply.

Sorry PAP, i dont think i made myself very clear. Student services told me in order to be successful with an application i must be in receipt of all monies i was entitled to such as student loans, grants etc, council tax discounts, child benefit, tax credits etc. See the guidelines for my specific university below. Their stance (and maybe rightly so) is that I need to work so much i am not in reciept of 'full entitlement' from other scources (hence the wording 'entitled to' rather than 'in reciept of') if i chose to take up such entitlement i would not need the ALF... can kinda see where they are coming from

If eligible you must have taken out a student loan before receiving help from the Access to Learning Fund. In the case of students applying for loans you must have applied for and received your full assessed entitlement.

Tax Credits and Benefits – Please provide details of any Tax Credits you or your partner are entitled to including a full breakdown of how they have been calculated.

mrshappy

Hi OP,
I would just like to add to what others have said-you are doing a fantastic job managing children, work and uni, well done you.
I see your point about not wanting to claim TC's, but instead of struggling try thinking along the lines of claiming TC's as a temporary support. Like yourself, I was a single parent-working and studying and TC's really helped me at a time I needed support. Also, like yourself, I worked and paid into the system which I needed something back from, and am now earning enough so I no longer claim TC's. Even though claiming benefits went against all I had been brought up to believe in, I would not have been able to achieve what I have without this support and it was invaluable to me for that time.
I hope that makes sense, good luck with your studies

do_it_today!

brians_daughter wrote: »

Ah, i am whinging. sorry, i dont do it often and feel bad when i do.

I am super orgainsed, down to the minute. You could ask me (for example) what i will be doing at 5.34 on Sunday and i bet i could tell you but i just do not have enough hours in my day nor days in the week. I am currently sat in back to back traffic writting this, so its not even as if i am 'wasting time' lol

I am (sadly from my POV) a single parent to 4 children, i work usually 45-50 hours a week, i am also in my last year (full time) studying for a degree (with a further year of post grad to look forward to) and simply do not have time to turn around.

I guess i am asking if anyone has any tips/hints to make me more efficient?

I batch cook 1/2 day a week so we have meals all ready in the freezer ready to go for the next 7 days (couldnt do ready meals if i wanted to as some of my children have allergies so always need to cook from scratch)

The kids are on school/nursery dinners then i dont have to worry about packed lunches.

The kids are all in a routine.

I am in a routine. Every spare minute is spent studyng (last night it ws 3am before i went to bed due to uni work and i was up at 6, but i dont need much slep so thats a blessing)

My god send of a mother does all our washing and ironing as 'she likes ironing' , has just retired and is 'bored' !!!!!! is all that about lol!?:rotfl::rotfl:

I always spend at least an hour in the morning just 'being' with my children and the same in the evening. Then they all get a 10-15 min bedtime story/chat 1-2-1 with me.

I work 12 hour nights so i can combine study into my working hours

I always have provided for my own so to speak and feel a sense of pride in that. I am lucky enough to have a fabulous ex hubby who is a great friend and has the children when he can (sometimes sees them everyday sometimes not for 10 days at a time. I hasten to add this is due to his job and the amount of travelling sometimes involved, not his lack of parental responsibility)


The only ways i can see are

1. Stop studying - dont want to do as my last deadline is 4th April
2. Less time with the kids - deffo not
3. Work less hours - impossible i have a mortgage to pay! I
4. Hide in a cave for the rest of my life and chill out - wonderful idea, but totally impractical.


So, moan over and to end on a positive note can anyone give me any tips or hints that may assist me in finding an extra 2 days in a week :):)

Hello :hello: I dont know how you do it but you are doing really well and you are nearly there! good luck