Biting the bullet - GULP

tink28

bugslet wrote: »

There have been a few threads in the past about having to tell the husband about debt and I can't remember one where after the initial shock, it wasn't something that couldn't be sorted out. Better to let him know where you both stand sooner than later.

Do you think it might help if you prepare a budget and cut up cards beforehand so at least he knows that you are trying.

Good luck.

Oh... I haven't had the cards for over a year now! The debt has just spiralled due to non payment, mega interest etc etc - Its just a big massive mountain I can't seem to get over at the moment

tink28

RickfromHerts wrote: »

Hi Tink

First of all, well done for taking the first steps to telling your husband; it's so important that you get to that crossroad sooner rather than later, he either supports you or he doesn't - unfortunately it's as simple as that. Either way you will no longer be hiding things, jumping when the phone rings or covering your tracks and I'm sure you'll feel a release of some of the stress you currently burden. Don't waste years of your life feeling like this, it's already been too long!

From my own experience, it's the only solution to your troubles. I was in a similar situation, not as much debt, however I was hiding it away etc…Sometimes people surprise you, my wife certainly did and couldn't have been more supportive once the initial shock went away. 3 years down the line and we are now in a much stronger financial position, mainly down to working together to tackle the issue and then working out moving forward how best to manage our finances.

Wish you all the best, remember you do have a future and tomorrow can be better than today!

Yeh to be honest I'm kind of at the stage now where I think he can either help or we split and I deal with it alone... will be cleared a hell of a lot quicker if I go it alone trust me hahaha!!

serious_saver

Tell him! It is always better to talk.

I had some good friends who ended up divorced because he wouldn't tell her about his debts. They were a lovely couple and both good people but she only found out when a bailiff turned up on the doorstep. It could have easily been sorted if he had been honest when the debt first became a problem.

You will probably have to accept that he will end up questioning you about you finances constantly there may even be points when he seems suspicious about any payments or new purchases. However nothing is insurmountable if you are honest with each other.

jellymid

Hope it went ok, Tink.

Yum

good luck! Im sure you can work it out

Honesty really is the best policy. And its not worth your health. Dont suffer in silence.

dell33

wishing you all the best, hope all went well.

tink28

OK so its done - DH now knows.... his reaction totally suprised me!! He didnt even raise his voice... was upset that I hadn't told him and that I felt like I couldn't talk to him about such a massive issue....

But we're working on the budget, just waiting to see what happens after the bank appt tomorrow regarding the mortgage then I will have a better idea of how much money I will have etc.

:j