Help with 5 Year Old - Bed time & school!

supermonkey

Hi all,

Our 5 year old is tired all the time after school. Makes it really hard to sort daily homework (espcially with other children to look after). Teacher has indicated that lack of homework is showing which is upsetting. Books were read perfectly at home though, but not so well at school. Wonder if the wrong impression has been given. We always get the "I can't remember what I did today" but that doesn't mean they aren't playing or being taught.

A few weeks ago bed times became problematic. Constant talking, claiming to feel ill, repeating the same questions (can I sleep downstairs, can you stay with me). Not really sure what to do! This is not helping with tiredness! Bit concerned whether there's any deficiency or intolerance that could be linked.

I know there's not really a question there, just hoping for some advice/ opinions! Thanks

chelle230

I wouldn't worry too much atm.
She's probably getting used to the school routine, etc.

My DS still doesn't really tell me about his day, but in foundation used to say he couldn't remember what he'd done, he's year 1 now.

Is she going to bed early enough?
My DS comes out of school very tired, they do a lot that is mentally tiring. He does get up at 6.30am most mornings, so he has to go to bed around 6.30pm to get enough sleep. I know this is quite early for a 6 year old (compared to his friends), but he needs it more than most.

How about doing homework as soon as she comes home, before getting more tired, then has the rest of the evening to chill out/play

skintchick

Why instantly leap to the assumption it would be an intolerance or deficiency?

I'd start by finding out if anything has changed at school (I'm assuming they started at 4), are they worried about something? Why is bedtime now an issue? Talk to your child (DD or DS?) and try and find out what is going on, talk to the teacher as well.

I'm sure there's a perfectly ordinary reason that doesn;t involve your child's diet, assuming you feed them well!

Martra_27

Hi as mother of three youngest being 15 now all i can say is school is exhausting keep it fun for them dont pressure them or yourself the years fly by teachers have targets children develop in their own time especially that young is she your eldest ?

meritaten

homework? at five years old? !!!!!! - my generation didnt get homework until we were eleven! but then, the school didnt faff about teaching totally unnecessary topics - we tended to concentrate on learning the basics. and funnily enough - the literacy and numeracy rates were far higher then in the sixties!

adamantine

i have a 5 year old in P1 and as soon as he leaves school while we are in the playground i ask him what he did in school that day and im told "i cant remember"! thats just kids though. he remembers playing lego but not what sounds he practiced or what shapes or numbers lol.

he isnt tired as such now but i cannot keep him going in food! this is the child who would pick and moan and tell me he didnt like whatever it is i cooked that night (even if it was his fav last week) so now cleaning his plate every single night and asking for 2nds!

he goes to bed between half 6 and half 7 every night and normally drops off pretty fast and ive to wake him up at 8 for school at 9 most mornings.

i would be inclined to go back to basics with the bedtime routine. no negotiating just into bed, good night and thats that. might have tears and tantrums for the first few nights but after that he/she should get the message and you might find things improve. tiredness really is the root of all evil when it comes to kids!

supermonkey

Thanks for your replies.

Yes, eldest child. Started school in september. Bedtime is now 7, up about 7.30. Bedtime was later before school started. Homework straight after school does work best, depending on other children's mood!

There is not instant assumption of intolerance or defiency. Just a case of thinking worst case I guess.

The bed time issue started 2 or 3 weeks back. It was kind of every other night. Then last week there was a run of 3 good nights, but now 3 bad ones in a row. We've done the whole straight to bed, but without locking the door it's difficult!

claire16c

supermonkey wrote: »

A few weeks ago bed times became problematic. Constant talking, claiming to feel ill, repeating the same questions (can I sleep downstairs, can you stay with me). Not really sure what to do! This is not helping with tiredness! Bit concerned whether there's any deficiency or intolerance that could be linked.

Im not sure why you would think about that - it just sounds like the exact stuff children come up with to delay going to bed! What do you do when she asks all these questions? It seems like you must be reasoning with her/giving her time, or she wouldnt have time to ask them if you see what I mean.

What time does she go to bed?

do you do the homework straight away or leave it til later?

I look after a little girl who is 5. When we get in from school, she has about 15-30 mins having a snack and watching tv or playing a game, and then we get straight on with homework which is usually reading 2 books and doing spellings or a bit of letter practise. If I leave it any later then shed be too tired.

Darlyd

DD1 was a nightmare to say the least for bed, the only home work i had from her was reading. DD2 however has home work nearly every day, It's really p@%$$ng me off, because she is only 5, and I feel they are being patronizing when we have missed something!!

I got DD2 into a routine pretty much striaght away when she was born, lifting her bed time hour to 6.30-7pm, half an hr dvd and then story, kiss and lights off and sleep, she is such a good girl, and loves her sleep. Am lucky there. As for when she comes out of school, sometimes she is in a bad mood, sometimes she is upset, sometimes she is in a hypo mood, depends on her day, she also says she got up to nothing in school.. 9/10 she is tired, and has a lay down with DH when he gets in from work sometimes fallen off to sleep..

Think about it 6 hours a day is a long day ... They will soon get used to it

Also make sure they have breakfast, even if it is a piece of toast or a breakfast bar eaten on way to school, bottle of plain water for the day and a good lunch box/school dinner..

And don't give in to them, they will soon get used to it, and into a good routine .

Sagz_2

supermonkey wrote: »

The bed time issue started 2 or 3 weeks back. It was kind of every other night. Then last week there was a run of 3 good nights, but now 3 bad ones in a row. We've done the whole straight to bed, but without locking the door it's difficult!

Around Halloween time? I wonder if your DS/D has had a fright?

bylromarha

So Reception year? Not year 1?

An AWFUL lot of playing at school. It's exhausting! They get shattered, but somehow still find the will to fight you over bedtime. DD manifests this in having a strop over bathtime (as she knows it's pre bedtime). We've turned this round in the last few weeks before it got too out of hand with an ongoing story she loves as the reward, and some extra in bed reading time before lights out. Try to get the positive positive positive in place before it decends into a negative cycle. But remain firm - bedtime is bedtime.

Also, I've always found homework after school is a bad idea. We leave it til the weekend to do. They wake up fresh and ready to go Saturday morning and it takes a much shorter time to complete than the slog it felt like after school.

And they never remember what they do at school - as a teacher it is a comment lots of parents report back to me their children say. Mine do it too.

TBH daily homework at age 5 is not necessary...a quick read of the reading book and maybe practice no more than 5 spellings in a game style (like lotto or bingo) each day is MORE than enough to be going on with. If school is giving daily homework to reception aged kids, then the school need to remember their job is to teach the child and fit most of that stuff into the school day. I give my year 1 class daily reading (same book all week) and spelling practice (same spellings all week) and a weekly bigger simple task based on either the literacy or numeracy they've learnt about the previous week.