Who attends a hen do?

minerva_windsong

The short answer is 'whoever you want'. This can be your mum, sister(s), gran, auntie(s), cousins, school/uni friends, work colleagues... basically anyone you like! Equally though there's no set rule saying you must invite certain people - I know there was a thread on here not that long ago on whether mums should go on the hen do for example - although I personally think what you're doing for the hen plays a big part in this. But then a good bridesmaid will hopefully be someone who you're close to and who knows you well and will organise something that you like, including the scale of the event and how many people come.

If you're good friends with the best man's wife then I'd invite her to the hen, but probably not the friend if you've never met her. Then again August 2013 is a fair way off so maybe you'll have got to know her better by then, or alternatively the other friend might not be in your life any more, or they may even choose not to come if you're having the hen do in the UK and they live abroad due to the expense of flights etc. I'd wait until about this time next year and then start thinking about those kinds of things, but ultimately it's up to you who you invite.

sugarwalsh

I agree with above, invite whomever you want. I, personally, think the smaller ones with just one group of friends are the best. One friend invited lots of friends - a group of old ones and a group of new ones and it was just a disaster. You could have a couple - something with family/close friends and then one with those who aren't as close?

Megan

wanchai_2

Invite whoever you want, it's your hen do!! And make this clear to the BM. If I had £1 for every time I've heard a nightmare story of the BM inviting people the bride didn't want, forgetting to invite someone important, booking a lavish hotel break when the bride wants a quiet party etc etc... just talk to your BM(s) and it will be fine!

Dekazer

I would have thought that the invitation list might be affected by the price, venue location and style of hen you want. I've been on hens that were, basically, a good night out on the town. It's affordable and numbers aren't limited, so you can invite the world and their mother.

Mine, however, was more limited on numbers and more expensive, and I wanted something a bit more select, so I emailed a list to my best friend and she organised it from there.

I didn't invite my mother to mine, but me and Mum and my grandmother are going to be staying together on the night before the wedding, so we'll have a wee gentle dinner out then

BLUis

I am having the same kind of problem. I work in an office full of women (about 30). I get on with them all, but I dont want them all at my hen do, just the ones I am really close to and know they will be a laugh. How do I invite some and not others without offending anyone?? I know that most of the ones I wont invite, wont come anyway, but I dont want to offend them by NOT inviting them!

Tis very difficult!

wanchai_2

Just tell them that your BM organised it without telling you any details and the place you're going to is too small to accommodate them all.

lisajane8482

BLUis wrote: »

I am having the same kind of problem. I work in an office full of women (about 30). I get on with them all, but I dont want them all at my hen do, just the ones I am really close to and know they will be a laugh. How do I invite some and not others without offending anyone?? I know that most of the ones I wont invite, wont come anyway, but I dont want to offend them by NOT inviting them!

Tis very difficult!

There's only 2 women in the office where I work so I'm sort of at the other end of the scale. I can't really invite 40 men to my hen do, although I think some of them wouuld be in their element if I did :rotfl:. I'll be having a hen do and a pre wedding celebration with the guys from work

I haven't even started thinking about my hen do yet, my MOH asked me what I wanted but I am so unsure what I want to do with the girlies. However the men are already thinking of paint balling and a night out, I'm not completely convinced that paint balling is such a good idea just before my wedding sicne I bruise easily but there is over a year and a half to go so plans will no doubt change.

purple.sarah

Any woman invited to the wedding can be invited to the hen do (it could be rude to invite people who are not invited to the wedding as they would be spending money and might get their hopes up.) However you can also keep it close friends only. You certainly don't have to invite someone who didn't invite you to hers and her friend who you've never met! If she makes a fuss just say politely, "I'm sure you understand from your own hen do the guest list has to be limited" and change the subject.