Who attends a hen do?

Jewelleryfan

Hi everyone,

We met some friends yesterday for Sunday lunch and one couple has recently got married and he is our best man. His wife asked me what I'm thinking of doing and I said I hadn't really thought of it cause it's so far away. I wasn't invited to her hen do but she seemed to be inviting herself and wanting me to arrange things.
She than started talking about other guests that will be coming, in particular her friend who I have never met, so am I supposed to invite everyone from the guests or just my close friends?

My bridesmaid is going to plan something for us but she has never met anyone so she wouldn't know who it invite either. I'm totally confused at who should come and who doesn't. I didn't want a big fuss anyway with loads of people but I'll feel bad if people are left out etc.

She also dropped a bomb that her and her husband (our best man) are moving to Cyprus next year so I don't know how that will work now and then coming back for stag/hen do, helping to organise etc

It's starting to get a bit complicated once other people give you their thoughts

fawny

Hiya,

It's up to you who goes to your Hen do. I will be giving my bridesmaid a list of people with their email address so she can get in touch with them, she does not really know everyone else either. I'd say really it only the people you have invited to your wedding that come, so not your Bestman wife friend if you don't know her & won't be at your wedding. However if you just want a small do with close friends then it's up to you!

I will have quiet a few people coming to my hen do who won't be at the wedding as they can't afford to come to Rhodes but still want to be involved in the hen:D Just give you BM a list of people YOU want to invite.

Jewelleryfan

Thanks! Her friend will be coming to the wedding as she is the partner of my OH friend but it's just Ive never met her. I don't like feeling I should invite certain people or having to do it for someone else if that makes sense? I suppose it also depends of what we end up doing, where that is and how much it will cost. I've never really thought of my hen do as complicated and who to invite but we will see

elvis86

Firstly, I think you should take the best man's wife inviting herself and your OH's friend's wife as a bit of a compliment, as she obviously thinks it will be fun to celebrate your hen do with you. Traditionally everyone pays for themselves on a hen do (so it's not like she's invited herself/her friend to your wedding at a cost to you!), and nowadays they can get quite expensive, so I'd have to think a lot of someone to make the effort to go.

However, I do find it a bit strange that you've been with your OH long enough to get engaged, and yet you've never met his friend's wife but she wants to come on your hen do (assuming best man's wife isn't just assuming she would like to come)..?

At the end of the day though, it's up to you. But unless you actively dislike them, I can't see the harm in deciding what you're doing/letting your bridesmaids/friends arrange something, and extending an invitation to them. You might make 2 new friends.:)

trying_2_b_good

It's up to you and your relationship with them, but I wouldn't invite them! Just tell them that it's only a small do - she must understand if you weren't invited to hers! I certainly didn't invite my husband's Best man's girlfriend!

I had my close friends, my Mum & OH's Mum. 12 including me. In my experience, the more people you invite, the more you have to please, and the more it becomes a girly weekend away where people sneak off in their own friendship groups, and less a Hen Do where everyone's together focusing on the hen! BUT it's entirely up to you and what you fancy doing!

Jewelleryfan

elvis86 wrote: »

Firstly, I think you should take the best man's wife inviting herself and your OH's friend's wife as a bit of a compliment, as she obviously thinks it will be fun to celebrate your hen do with you. Traditionally everyone pays for themselves on a hen do (so it's not like she's invited herself/her friend to your wedding at a cost to you!), and nowadays they can get quite expensive, so I'd have to think a lot of someone to make the effort to go.
However, I do find it a bit strange that you've been with your OH long enough to get engaged, and yet you've never met his friend's wife but she wants to come on your hen do (assuming best man's wife isn't just assuming she would like to come)..?
At the end of the day though, it's up to you. But unless you actively dislike them, I can't see the harm in deciding what you're doing/letting your bridesmaids/friends arrange something, and extending an invitation to them. You might make 2 new friends.:)

This couple live abroad so I haven't met her but I've met my OH friend just not his girlfriend. I think the best mans wife might just have assumed I'm inviting most people rather than a quiet do but if in the mean time we meet and get on etc then I'm happy for anyone to come

eeeeeee

mixed chickens .... big ones fat ones curvy ones small ones ones pretty ones ... ones with ikea brown paper bag ( eye n mouth holes cut out) ... more seriously though usually a group of fun loving girls /women in all shapes and sizes looking too have a good giggle and a decent night out

sugarwalsh

eeeee, it took me a second, but he he he!

Megan

FutureCooper

Jewelleryfan - IMO you are worrying to early in the day for an August 2013 wedding. Friends change and you may not even have contact with these people once they move away or you may become the best of friends. My H2B has a larger circle of friends than myself but since we have moved in together and moved about 10 miles down the road more than half of these 'friends' haven't even text that alone replied to our invite to meet for a drink!! It is a hurtful though but we are going to seriously consider not inviting these people next year to our day.

We want to share our day with people we love and share happy times with us during our marriage. I would see how the friendship progresses and who knows you might become best of friends!! Good luck

sugarwalsh

I'm inclined to agree with Future cooper. It is a LOOOOOOOONG time until your wedding - I don't think you should be worrying yet. We are getting in March and still haven't sorted anything. That is mainly because we don't want anything! We have both been married before and feel it would be a bit of an unncessary expense to us and our friends, so I think if we just skirt around it when our friends mention it (They all want it...) then it will be too late!

MEgan

Jewelleryfan

I'm not overly worried I just wanted to see what people on here thought as I hadn't even thought about my hen do until it was talked about yesterday and she just started me thinking if there is a right way to do it etc. I know I have ages until I get married and friends might change by then but just wanted to get other people's ideas.