Smoking partner

MartialArtMan

My partner smokes and tallies up about £80 worth a month. Obviously this is an expense that I could do without but she has no intention of giving up and attempts to reduce the amount she smokes is only short lived.

I have tried to get her to give up and me and the kids are always complaining about the cost, health, hygene, etc effects of it. I've tried getting her to smoke outside to deter her from smoking but she won't have it. I've offered here rewards for giving up as an incentive and my full support if she does.

Following my SOA on here people advised that I get her on roll ups to atleast save a bit of dough but she said she doesn't want a mouthful of tobacco.

What should I do?

Betty_Bucket

We both smoke rollups and yes it is very much cheaper. I use the filters in mine
as I cant stand the odd bit of tobacco in my mouth.
Filters are about 50p per box

helpme!_4

hi, as above rollups are alot cheaper and with the filters you get used to smoking them within a couple of weeks and as happened to me i would not smoke a cigarette if offered one as i got used to bacci. i have just stopped smoking and it is THE HARDEST thing i have ever done in my life. im 4 weeks in and it is getting alot easier. Your partner is lucky to have someone who will be suppportive as my partner did not understand how hard it is to stop. Tell her that the patches are fantastic and i couldnt have done it without them if she does decide to stop. If not dont give her a hard time, she has to make the decision to stop herself or wont be successful.

rosysparkle

You can't force her to stop, it has to be her decision. Until she really wants to stop she won't.

I have a friend who went to an Allen Carr clinic and stopped smoking with no difficulty at all- 20 a day to nothing - the cost of the clinic was more than covered by the amount of money she's saved in fags in just a few weeks.

One of my collegues has given up by using Nicorette gum and then weaning himself off the Nicorette gum onto normal gum.

She's very lucky that she has your support. Best of luck!

nickmack

MartialArtMan wrote:

My partner smokes and tallies up about £80 worth a month. Obviously this is an expense that I could do without but she has no intention of giving up and attempts to reduce the amount she smokes is only short lived.

This is a real problem. It's going to be virtually impossible to stop, if she doesn't want to. People who do desperately want to give up find it difficult enough.

I have tried to get her to give up and me and the kids are always complaining about the cost, health, hygene, etc effects of it. I've tried getting her to smoke outside to deter her from smoking but she won't have it.

Do you mean she won't go outside to smoke? What reason is she giving for this? I guess you've told her you are concerned about the smell in the house and particularly the health implications for the children.

Warriorsith

Get her hypnotised to stop it, or just tell her that it would be nice for here to be around when the kids have grown up so she can see her own grandchildren. I get our daughter to call it a dirty cigerette and that it makes mummy poorly, as she at times copies her mummy and pretends to have a cig in which she gets told off. You could also tell her that you'd treat her to having her teeth bleached if she needs them doing.

We all have vices but smoking has got to be the worse, I don't smoke it stinks, makes your clothes smell, makes your teeth and hands go a hint of yellow, makes you short on breath, makes your skin smell and worst of all its the tax amount on the cost of a packet and we all pay enough tax as it is. My vice is that I love sweets but I have really cut down, perhaps you should try and get her to limit how many she has a day and reduce the amount on a weekly basis then soon enough she should have stopped.

Good luck in helping her stop.

TNG

Allen carr book suggests that if you have a birthday or occasion coming up, give her the book and tell her that the only present you want from her is for her to read the book, if she then chooses to continue to smoke, it is down to her

Possibly a high risk strategy, but you get the gist

mjdh1957

I think you're on a losing streak here I'm afraid...

I've had a smoking partner, and tried everything. Patches, Alan Carr, cold turkey, the lot. Promises to 'only smoke outside' or 'not to smoke in the car' lasted less than a month.

Only remedy in the end was to split up.... Though smoking wasn't the only reason.

Tiggs_2

leave her.

bottom line is that smoking with children is a fast track to you supporting them through watching their mother die a horrible death. if thats not motivation enough then give up.

its all very well saying "it must be her choice" etc etc but thats nonsense - if i had a hobby that had a very high chance of negatively effecting my family they would be quite right to say STOP.

my wife smoked for years and in the end i said its cigs or me - she quit, she didnt want to, but she did.

squirreltufty

Give her Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking (the women's version) book and leave her alone wiith it for a couple of days (even better, read it yourself before you give it to her). Good luck.


PS see my sig:)

glenstan

My husband has copd and the stupid man still smokes . He goes outside in all weathers to use the dreaded weed. We have a new grandson and I have tried telling him that he must not care, or else he would stop, for his grandsons sake , but it dose not work. I have tried grabbing the fags and putting them in water, not speaking to him for weeks, and councelling. Thing is, I cannot do anything, he will not or cannot face up to the fact its bad for him. He is hooked lined and well and trully sinkered. I stopped smoking 29 years ago after smoking 35 a day for 5 years so I know how difficult it is.