Gift from "Friend" turned into a loan

Balmore2011

Hi everyone. I’m a newbie here so be nice!

Some years ago I made friends with a chap who was starting Uni. He was the friend of the younger brother of one of my good friends. Anyway throughout his Uni years I helped him with his work (proof-reading, formatting, reference-checking, that sort of thing). Most of the time he was short of cash so I would pay for him for the cinema, football, group meals out etc. During his final year I helped him organise a summer work placement overseas and arranged his flights etc. (though he paid for these himself). After his degree he did a postgraduate degree and I provided the same support. During this, he had opened a new bank account with a big overdraft facility (some £1200). He then offered to give me £1000, partly as a thank you for all the past help and partly as a repayment for everything. This was in autumn 2009.

Anyway, several months later he fell out with his bank who later demanded repayment of his overdraft. He then started to insist I pay back the £1000 he had given me. This was a surprise as understood it had been a gift and repayment, as mentioned earlier. In any event, in early 2010 I had been made redundant and was surviving on jobseekers allowance. We then had a big argument about things and have not spoken since, apart from by email. Since then he has said it is my responsibility to negotiate with the debt collectors who are now dealing with this. I did this once, and agreed to repay £25 a month which I have done for the past six months.

The big BUT about all of this is that this ‘friend’ has over £500 of my property in his possession: a laptop and a desktop of mine, an older desktop I leant him for his sister, two smartphones, a digital camera. In total this amounts to £500. Also I have made a list of things I have paid for on his behalf and this amounts to around £350. So in effect he owes me £850.

He is insisting that I deal with his debt collectors and that I clear this from his credit rating. He is refusing to return any of my property until then. He also said he will repay everything I spent on him then.

He is being quite nasty in his e-mails to me. Whilst on the one hand I still feel I should still help him, on the other hand I feel that he owed me this money, and if he has fallen out with his bank that is his problem to deal with and not mine. I certainly never asked him to take out this overdraft and never agreed to repay what I understood was a gift!

It has now come to the stage where the debt collectors are looking for updated financial information from him and a repayment plan for the next six months. I know this because he pushed the letter from the debt collectors through my door. Now I have drafted up an email to him saying effectively he has two choices: 1) return my property and we will talk further, failing which 2) I shall pay him the balance of what he claims I owe, after deducting the £850 mentioned above. I shall also tell him it is up to him to deal with his bank, not me.

I’d like to ask what everyone thinks, does anyone have any advice, what are my rights etc.? Can he take me to court? I don't think his attitude is fair at all: he must know he owes me. This whole situation is really stressing me; I suffer from major depression anyway but this is making my life worse on a daily basis.

All comments welcome.

K.:(

Cherryjack

hello, He is so in the wrong to do this and i would stop paying this debt for him... how dare he hold you to randsom for your possesions!! its blackmail.. you have all the email proof and he is not a friend to be doing this to you.. no friend would ever do this. Call the police station with regards to getting your items back and dont feel bad. So sorry you are going thru this xx and dont let him give your name to the debt collectors.. no ways!
He cant take you to court.. but you can him for keeping YOUR stuff! its harrasment putting those letters thru your door

mildredalien

I assume you aren't named on any of his debts, in which case they are not at all your responsibility! Don't be bullied into paying his debts off for him, he has absolutely no rights to insist that you pay for his debts.

TBH he sounds like a total creeper Hope you manage to sort this out!

mildredalien

P.s. why on earth do you feel like you should help him?!!

somethingcorporate

This is outrageous.

They are his debts - completely ignore him and any demand for him to pay your debts. I would talk to the police about holding your stuff for ransom.

You have been far too good a friend, let this be a lesson to you about lending money to friends - more often than not it ends up in misery.

Mojisola

How could you prove the items he has are really yours? You may have be prepared to let those go.

paulwellerfan

so his friend just gave him 1000 no questions asked.

if it were me i would give him the money once i had my stuff back, all of it.

Bublin1

This is bullying and harrassment and blackmail. He has turned hs problems into yours. He knows you have soft heart and has taken your kindness for a weakness. All those years he was using you hun. He wasn't your friend.

Here's what i would do.
1. Forget about your stuff, you will never get it back and can't prove it's yours. Just write it off.
2. Turn your back on him and stop all communication. None of this has anything to do with you. Do not write to him, do not speak to him, do not ague with him...nothing. Just file away anything he puts through your door in case you need evidence of harrassment.
3. File a report of blackmail/harrassment at the police station. This will be for future use if you need it. If he contacts you again, report again. After 2 instances of harrassment police have to contact him and give him an official warning.
4. Put it all down to experience.
5. Do not let one nasty character make you feel depressed. Carry on with your life knowing that you have a good heart and was just try to help him out. He is the loser.

Oh, he can take you to court if he wishes. No solicitor would rep him with all this crap he's spouting. Its just mind games. If he wants to pay court fees and rep himself the Judge will just laugh at him and say, 'next case'!!

McKneff

on the other hand I feel that he owed me this money,

This bit was within your post. He didnt owe you this money because there was never an agreement for him to pay you back for all the 'help' (your word)
you gave him.

So you see you are both as bad as one another and in exactly the same position.

Personally, I would just tell him to do one to be honest

lynnemcf

I think you need to take legal help on this ... can Citizens Advice help? Can he prove that he loaned you £1000 (ie did he transfer the money from his bank to your bank?) What do you mean by "Since then he has said it is my responsibility to negotiate with the debt collectors who are now dealing with this. I did this once, and agreed to repay £25 a month which I have done for the past six months." Who are you paying the £25 a month to?

Balmore2011

Hi everyone, thanks for your responses and support so far, much appreciated!

To answer various queries: well I felt obliged to help him as he had been a friend. I don't feel that way now, I feel used to be honest.:mad:

I can definitely prove that the stuff he has of mine is my property. I have receipts, I have lots of pictures of me using the stuff, I have notes of serial numbers and I had registered the stuff on Immobilise/MEND. I've effectively given up any chance of getting this stuff back anyway.

I'm going to send him an email later today and will post back the letter from his debt collectors which he kindly pushed through my door. Keep you posted!