Starting primary school pre statutory school age?

neverdespairgirl

savagevixen wrote: »

I can't understand why anyone would want to send their child into school a year before they needed to go.

I don't think any child is really ready at 4 for the enormity of school 9am-3.15pm, 5 days a week. The playground, and a class of 30 children your own age is pretty intense.

I wasn't traumatised, at just turned 4. I enjoyed it a lot.

balletshoes

OP it looks like your friend will have to find out from the school whether her 2 children can be in the same class, and her youngest can start earlier than LEA guidelines provide for.

I also went to school with sisters who were not twins but in the same year at school - one was a March birthday, one the following January (this was in Scotland). They had no issues at all, had their own individual strengths, and their own separate circles of friends.

However, one of my DD's best friends is just under one year older than her sister, and I don't think she'd be best pleased if she were in the same year and class as her little sister. Although they are very close, they are also competitive and little sis is already, at age 9, a lot taller than her older sibling.

savagevixen

Lol at you guys! I said my son was traumatised, (which he flipping was!) I did not say all children would be traumatised!! My girls coped better than my son, but I would never wish them into school a year early. If they end up in the same year, or they are twins, then obviously they will cope. But if there was a choice to put a younger sibling into a Reception class a year early, with their older sibling, then this does not seem right to me. My son did enjoy some aspects and was as ready as he would ever be, however he was not ready for the level of independence expected for the reality of the school day. DD4, who is a confident and happy child, had issues in reception because she never went to the toilet. We discovered that she was frightened to go alone and the school policy was not to let them go in pairs as there was a tendency to mess about! (This policy has now changed for the little ones).

My DD2 and DD3 are 13 months apart, they are currently in yr 5 and yr 6. They are not particularly competitive but the younger is much neater with her writing etc (older one more artistic!) I was so worried for the older one than her sister would get her pen license first, as she had tried so hard, but was not naturally neat and tidy. In the end they got them the same week, phew. My point is just that it is hard to deal with your own attempts to acheive at times and this could be much harder in a class with a sibling.

I can see that lots of people think that it's ridiculous my son found it hard at school at 4 and that my opinion is laughable, but I know lots of parents who worry about there little ones, particularly august babies. And from experience within the class (my daughter has just gone into yr 1) so I was in and out of reception a lot (with stay and play etc), the difference between the older members of the class and the younger ones is enormous and all the staff comment that on the whole it is very hard for the youngest, and they can struggle. Obviously not all struggle.

I am also aware that in other countries they have kindergarten etc, but this is not full time school. I would have liked mine to have a pre-school/reception year maybe 3-4 days a week! Just gentler... And most of the countries that officially school from 7, introduce reading at 7, so kindergarten is a different experience and their school systems do have fantastic outcomes. The children are not held back in anyway!

Zoesmummy, my sister is the same her boy is mid-august, and her older child is Spetember. He'll start as he turns 5 and the younger one, just after he turns 4, the following year! My friend has 2 daughters, 1 born 30th Aug, and the other 31st Aug! It was hard and tiring at first but they were both fine. Both schools my children have attended also have a policy whereby, if a child is finding it hard or over tiring they can attend on a more part time basis. My son changed back to 9-12 (from 9am-3.15pm) for a period of 3 months as he was so tired, but he settled back in fine.

I was not saying it is wrong to send children at 4 and that they would all be 'traumatised' haha. I said I couldn't understand why you would want to send your child a year early, especially as you would miss so much precious time with them. My kids are now in years 1-8 and all fine!! Thats not to say full time school at 4 wasn't hard for some of them. My son did go on to be diagnosed with High Functionning Autism, ADHD and Tourettes, which could be a reason why he found it so hard, and why we had such a difficult time. I still fell we push them too much too young!! It's easy to copy and paste bits of a post and make it seem like I have said all kids will be traumatised, but that is not what I meant! ;o)

I am also very glad you all had such positive experiences, I did not. And I would never underestimate the difficulties children have in the playground, it is well known that this is a place where the most social struggles occur, because the children are not 'closely' supervised and we all know what children can be like!!

savagevixen

Janepig wrote: »

Also, maybe my view is slightly skewed because of the people I encounter at work, but there are many many children who are far better off at school than at home for any longer than they need to be. Not all of us are earth mothers.

Jx

I think this is the key! We are all so different, I had no choice but to give up work and my ambitions (or at least put them on hold for severel years!!) as my sons disabillities have actually meant that between the ages of 4 and 12 he has had over 3 full years out of education. (He is back in now since Sept) This was not through choice. Naturally I am mixing with mothers with similar experiences. DD2 has been diagnosed with Aspergers and has huge anxiety issues around school and socialising and friendships. If I was in a working environment with other mums with kids at nursery/school from very young ages I am sure I would have a different opinion. Unfortunately I do not have this option!!;)
I was not naturally an earth mother!

Janepig

savagevixen wrote: »

Lol at you guys! I said my son was traumatised, (which he flipping was!) I did not say all children would be traumatised!! My girls coped better than my son, but I would never wish them into school a year early. If they end up in the same year, or they are twins, then obviously they will cope. But if there was a choice to put a younger sibling into a Reception class a year early, with their older sibling, then this does not seem right to me. My son did enjoy some aspects and was as ready as he would ever be, however he was not ready for the level of independence expected for the reality of the school day. DD4, who is a confident and happy child, had issues in reception because she never went to the toilet. We discovered that she was frightened to go alone and the school policy was not to let them go in pairs as there was a tendency to mess about! (This policy has now changed for the little ones).

Luckily, it's only now that DD is in year 4 that this policy has kicked in, so for younger ones it's no an issue.

I can see that lots of people think that it's ridiculous my son found it hard at school at 4 and that my opinion is laughable, but I know lots of parents who worry about there little ones, particularly august babies. And from experience within the class (my daughter has just gone into yr 1) so I was in and out of reception a lot (with stay and play etc), the difference between the older members of the class and the younger ones is enormous and all the staff comment that on the whole it is very hard for the youngest, and they can struggle. Obviously not all struggle.

I don't think it's ridiculous, it's your experience that you're speaking from and we all have different opinions anyway. I agree about the huge difference between the eldest and youngest in a year at this age, which is why DD/DS's school split the classes. DD is a late April baby but is near enough the oldest in her class. You notice the difference alot less when the spread is only April-August.

I am also aware that in other countries they have kindergarten etc, but this is not full time school. I would have liked mine to have a pre-school/reception year maybe 3-4 days a week! Just gentler... And most of the countries that officially school from 7, introduce reading at 7, so kindergarten is a different experience and their school systems do have fantastic outcomes. The children are not held back in anyway!

Again, I don't profess to be an expert, but I think given the high number of working mums in the likes of the Scandinavian countries, I would think a good number of children go to Kindergarten full time. And as I mentioned previously, in Wales we have the early years curriculum, which is essentially playing, or learning through play, and very much led by the child.

savagevixen wrote: »

I think this is the key! We are all so different, I had no choice but to give up work and my ambitions (or at least put them on hold for severel years!!) as my sons disabillities have actually meant that between the ages of 4 and 12 he has had over 3 full years out of education. (He is back in now since Sept) This was not through choice. Naturally I am mixing with mothers with similar experiences. DD2 has been diagnosed with Aspergers and has huge anxiety issues around school and socialising and friendships. If I was in a working environment with other mums with kids at nursery/school from very young ages I am sure I would have a different opinion. Unfortunately I do not have this option!!;)
I was not naturally an earth mother!

It's not so much my colleagues I was getting at, who have a variety of childcare options, grandparents, nursery, childminder, etc... but the parents I deal with through work (who, let's just say are less than adequate) . However, DD/DS's school were under a bit of pressure afew years ago from the LEA, to change their one intake per year, full time, the September after the child's 3rd birthday, and there was an absolute outcry from the parents. They did say that even if just one parent wanted it to change then they'd have to seriously consider it, however, nobody wanted it to change, so it didn't.

Jx

onlyroz

I think that if a child is traumatised by starting school at age four then the parents haven't done enough to adequately prepare them. Isn't it normal for kids to attend some sort of preschool from age three anyway? The reception is not so far removed from preschool, and I am sure the teachers are able to sensitively deal with the occasional toilet accident as well.

custardy

onlyroz wrote: »

I think that if a child is traumatised by starting school at age four then the parents haven't done enough to adequately prepare them. Isn't it normal for kids to attend some sort of preschool from age three anyway? The reception is not so far removed from preschool, and I am sure the teachers are able to sensitively deal with the occasional toilet accident as well.

yeah. kids like adults come in one size fits all