Tesco Discussion chat & grabbits eleven PLUS

lottiewxm

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

fshhhhhhhh

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff



What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug!

some children's jokes for us all...

zippydooda

Bootsalebargains wrote: »

Just managed to finally catch up.
For what it's worth I like the jokes. I've been reading them out to oh and had us both in stitches.

Thanks for the updates on the liverpool match, my bets come up, only had £5 on it but at 14/1 means I'll get £70 back.

£75 back:T

lovecrafting

lol@ a tommy tank

maybee a ham shank ohh im going to be quiet now before i get in trouble

mummy1983

queen_of_cheap wrote: »

only, by himself

OMG :eek::eek::eek: You and your Ex you say ???????????

Gemini_Jes

mymerrywidow wrote: »

it was me, i reported happychappys joke.

but i have never threatened or bullied happychappy. i told him that most of hiss jokes are racist/offensive and if i found them to be offensive i would report them to the admin team. mse has rules thgat need to be followed. they areloads jokes on here that dont upset anyone. happychappy can you similar jokes.

I respect and admire you for admitting it was you who reported HC....:T

locarr

mummy1983 wrote: »

Have never heard of a shufty??? Anyone want to enlighten me? Or maybe im too innocent:rotfl:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shufty

no. 3 on the list..

he was aquainting himself with Mrs palm and her 4 daughters!!:D

mymerrywidow

3Dogs wrote: »

:eek:

Where's MyMerryWidow tonight??

i am never online this time of night, so why are you missing me?

lovecrafting

loving the sentence that bgoes with it to explain the word.




A person who has a "shufty" is known as a "shufter".
Dude had a quick shufty in the bushes while drooling over G's a55.

katierose1_2

lottiewxm wrote: »

he was having a Tommy Tank, or choking the chicken...

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Where are you from Lottie?

As when i moved i used the phrase tommy tank and no one knew what i meant!!! :rotfl:

michter

A man and a woman got into a car accident. Their cars got
totally demolished but luckily both of them were all right.

After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says,"wow!

Look at the cars they're totaled! But luckily we both didn't even
get a scratch! This is a sign that we should become friends
and not try to pin the blame on each other.

Man," I totally agree with you."

The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says," that
bottle survived the crash just like us, I think its a sign from
heaven. We should open it and celebrate our new found friendship with it.."

She then hands the bottle to the man. He nods his head and because of the nerve-wrecking accident he chugs about a third of the bottle.. He hands it back to the woman, who immediately puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

Man,"aren't u having any?"

The woman replies," no I think ill just wait for the police