Son Not Attending

k66yla

Just had my sons lecturer on the phone asking why my son is'nt attending college. Apparently hes not turned up for 4 or 5 weeks. I assured him that I will be having words and that he will be there next week.
I've been paying his bus fare & lunch money to attend and hes been gone all day. This is the first call I've received from them and there has been no letter to draw my attention to his abscence.
Not sure how to tackle this. Do I read him the riot act, threaten him with being thrown out of the house or act like I'm not bothered and its his life he's wasting?
This is his 2nd year on his course and the lecturer says hes a good student. It seems a shame he wants to throw it all away
Unfortunately I can't 'police' him as I'm at work from 5am and when I've phoned to make sure he's out of bed and not late.......he's said 'i'm just leaving' or 'i'm at college'.

Person_one

Sit him down, ask him why?

Oldernotwiser

How old is he and what level of course?

kazwookie

Sit him down and ask him first for his side of things and then go from there.

ladylouise62

If you just read him the riot act he may well just dig his heels in. Just ask quietly why, and explain to him all of his options. It may well be the standard university issue of students so scared that they will fail, so they just give up. I know that I felt like that as I neared the end.. although understood what it was so kept at it.

k66yla

He came home and I just asked him where he'd been. Told me he went and played football with his friends after he finished college. Made me so cross with his lies. I told him his tutor had phoned, he denied that it was 4/5 weeks he's missed, said it was only 1 week. He gave me no reason why he did'nt turn up for his lessons. I've told him the tutor said it is ok for him to return on Monday without any problems so I think he's accepted that. Just hope he turns up.
Hopefully he will explain to me over the weekend why he has'nt gone. I did'nt read the riot act so will see what next week brings :-/

davemorton

Dont worry too much, he isnt the first, and wont be the last. Better for him to have his little 'blip' now, than at the end of the course. May be worth calling his tutor once a week for the next week or so to ensure he has got back on track.

bambinaUK

As he is no longer at school, he wont be treated like a school child and most colleges wont ring home the instant a student starts skipping lessons. However 4-5 weeks is quite a long time, where I work our database automatically issues a 'you will lose your place letter' after three weeks of non-attendance and a full weeks unexplained non-attendance of all lessons would alert a personal tutor. Different establishments work in different ways and if he is at a large college it is easy for them to slip through the net. I would be getting his tutors email address.

ladylouise62

Good luck - as davemorton said, it's probably just a blip.