any help greatfully received

ilovegreatdanes

not behind with any payments yet but realised last week that i cant carry on with the repayments.when i did a soa with the cccs i have only got £69 a month to throw at £21600 of debt so it will only take me around 26 years to pay off.oh doesnt know and cant pluck up courage to tell him as i have been there before and am still paying £4000 of debts from 1997.i am on incapacity due to depression and before i contacted cccs i was tempted to end it all as i could see no future as i have been so stupid.i have a permanant tension headache and am so miserable, but have to act normally for oh and son.
can anyone advise if i wanted to go down the iva route, would they take the house (£25000equity approx) cos oh cant afford to buy it.26years is a very long time to live with on a basic income and sometimes you need credit as the big purchases take ages to save for and there are always unexpected expenses.would it affect my husband getting credit on his own if i am on this plan for 26 years.i feel like i have ruined all our lives.cant sell anything and have nothing to show for all the debt.only took a £5000 mint loan out in oct 2006 and m/s more card for £2300 in oct 06.perhaps would be better for all if i did end it all.i am so ashamed and feelso worthless.oh has same email address as me so i dread emails and try to get to post before him.my life is a total nightmare.sorry post is so long. thanks for reading.

LookingAhead

Hello ilovegreatdanes.

First of all, I personally would like you to stop thinking about ending it all.

This never has been and never will be, the way to sort problems out.

People will be along soon to advise on what I call the more "technical" stuff like IVAs etc - I am afraid I do not know anything about them.

But I do know that your family will not want you to be hurting like this and of course they would be devastated if you harmed yourself, or worse.

I know it is scary to tell people about being in debt. But there will be a way out of this. But you have to tell your family, no good ever came of keeping secrets.

Maybe there will be some shock and even maybe anger initially. But it will not last. Your family love you. And humans have a way of adjusting and coping.

Please tell us all more and allow us to help you.

This is a great place to come and to be, for support and ideas and to rant & rave about debt and how it makes you feel. There are lots of people in similar or worse scenarios - please do not feel you are alone.

You are not the first and certainly will not be the last person to rack up debts.

MASSIVE hug. Please start to look forward and not back. You can sort this out.

spud30

Hi ILGD !!!!!

Firstly, I just wanted to say, I love your name....I love em too.

You've made the first step by posting here....the experts will be along shortly to help you out. Ending it all isnt the answer.

Big hugs hun

Kevicho

LA is obviously reading my mind as thats what i was thinking lol

Seriously you cant go to jail for debt, they cant take what you don't have, there are ways to get these people to communicate via mail as opposed to phone call, which a lot of people find easier to cope with.

Id like to say welcome to the boards, and praise your courage to opening up to a bunch of strange people, not easy, but i bet it feels a little better now that you have gotten this out there.

Also you are now part of a very supportive group of people who will give you ideas, inspiration and support when you need it.

Welcome

spud30

Kevicho wrote:

Id like to say welcome to the boards, and praise your courage to opening up to a bunch of strange people, not easy, but i bet it feels a little better now that you have gotten this out there.

Also you are now part of a very supportive group of people who will give you ideas, inspiration and support when you need it.

Welcome

Who are you calling strange :rotfl:

Kevicho

Oops pressed post before i passed on a couple of points

Take things one at a time, post here an Statement of affairs so we can maximise your budget, help you find ways to cut expenses, and give you ideas to maintain sanity while going through this.

Secondly, try to focus on it as a number, yes that is a long time, bit more importantly you are healthy, even with your emotional issues, you can still have a life and maybe even move beyond money being an issue and consider it just a concept, and look beyond it.

Also just read as much of the boards as you can, at your own pace, where people find fun ways to do things on the cheap, or learn new skills/knowledge and basically make life better for themselves and each other

Kevicho

spud30 wrote:

Who are you calling strange :rotfl:

Damn the thanks button has disappeared lol

I was going to put strangers, but i thought that was more accurate

We are a strange breed on DFW, but thats why we are the best board on here :P

PICUSHSKI

Hi,
I was in a very desperate situation like yourself 2 years ago. I would like to stress that if you did intend on finishing it all then your debts would become your partners. This is what I was told. I then snapped out of it and went bankrupt. I am now debt free and happy about no more money worries as well as not always arguing with my wife for just about anything due to the stress. I also have got used to saving to buy things rather than borrowing (obviously I now have no choice). Just remember this, when you are this far down you can only go up. Regards, Jason.

LookingAhead

It does help to keep things in context.

I worry about my overdraft....then I learned the other day that the Government has only just paid back the country's loans taken out in WW2!! :eek:

Kev's right about looking at it as just a number.

There is more to our time here on earth than money (although it's hard to always think like that when you are scratching around for enough money for a pint of milk at times or when you have to say "no" again when you are asked to go out).

But when things start to get sorted -which they will - then you can hopefully look past this big nasty blot (called debt) on the landscape.

Getting debt free isn't a bed of roses....but it shouldn't take over your life.

Keep posting.

LookingAhead

I'm bumping to see if anyone can help the OP with IVA question or offer any other advice......

blu1974

Hi ilovegreatdanes i know how you feel me and my family are in debt also probly alot more than you so i know where your comeing from but debt is just a number and you will beat it as i will also just do what these people ask on here and they will give you some good advice good luck and keep ya chin up