stupid prat of a boyfriend

saintly_2

just havin a flippin rant

my an my boyf went to rugby game yesterday, he didnt have change so i paid him in (£14), we went for a meal, couldnt find a cash machine, i paid for his half on my debit card (only £18) and then drinks, this morning, £10 this morning. i have spent over £100 this weekend whilst he has spent hardly anything, i feel quite bad askin for it back as he pays for stuff when im broke,he gets paid weekly and me monthly, i thought i was gonna do well this month an have cash left over to throw at my debts, everythin has been paid so dont have to worry about that!!

i got into debt wen i met my boyf an for some reason i cant see myself gettin out of it whilst he is around, i love him to bits an he knows my situation with debt how can i knock some bloody sense into him.

He has £70 left in his account till thursday, all food an bills paid, instead of payin £50 towards to his loan he is savin it. he only pays his loan wen he can be bothered which i have explained is terrible.

how have other got through to their OH's about debt!!

Kevicho

saintly wrote:

just havin a flippin rant

my an my boyf went to rugby game yesterday, he didnt have change so i paid him in (£14), we went for a meal, couldnt find a cash machine, i paid for his half on my debit card (only £18) and then drinks, this morning, £10 this morning. i have spent over £100 this weekend whilst he has spent hardly anything, i feel quite bad askin for it back as he pays for stuff when im broke,he gets paid weekly and me monthly, i thought i was gonna do well this month an have cash left over to throw at my debts, everythin has been paid so dont have to worry about that!!

i got into debt wen i met my boyf an for some reason i cant see myself gettin out of it whilst he is around, i love him to bits an he knows my situation with debt how can i knock some bloody sense into him.

He has £70 left in his account till thursday, all food an bills paid, instead of payin £50 towards to his loan he is savin it. he only pays his loan wen he can be bothered which i have explained is terrible.

how have other got through to their OH's about debt!!

Not being funny or anything but you WILLINGLY paid for all this, and if he pays his fair share then there shouldnt be a problem.

Why dont you both sit down and work out a budget that is fair for you both, then this sort of situation wont be an issue

LookingAhead

Awww sorry hon that you feel f-angry right now.

Honey I think you just have to bite the bullet and say to him "When you get paid can you give me some cash back for the weekend because otherwise it's going to leave me in debt/more in debt" (delete as applicable).

Don't let him get away with it. Some people, they're not being nasty, but it's not top of their list of priorities to pay people back.

And, with blokes as well (sorry of this sounds sexist - I don't mean it to be) you just have to spell it out. They aren't generally good at picking up on hints or moods or stuff like that. They just need to be told. In a good way I mean. Firm but fair!

(Any blokes want to back me up on this??)

LookingAhead

Kevicho wrote:

Not being funny or anything but you WILLINGLY paid for all this, and if he pays his fair share then there shouldnt be a problem.

Why dont you both sit down and work out a budget that is fair for you both, then this sort of situation wont be an issue

Just to point out that the OP did say they couldn't find a cash machine and BF hadn't brought along enough change for admission so they had no choice really but for her to pay.

But I agree with the second bit of your advice.

Kevicho

Woman through the ages have always kept men under control either through sexuality or being the voice of sense lol so yes men do need to be told.

However cash machine or not, im sure they have been to rugby before so should have known there was no cash machine, or even got some money on the way, i think he skipped paying as she says he has no money left :S

Stop being a mug, get both of you organised lol

saintly_2

i know i willingly paid only on the assumption that i was gonna get the money back, i dont mind payin at all i believe in 50/50, but its not like that anymore, ive already asked him for petrol money as he dont drive that came up against a brick wall.



we do have a budget set out normally for each weekend, however this was our birthday meal so we upped it ( i had saved money from last month for the meal), maybe our budget isnt realistic, we can review it

sorry for my rant im just so angry!!

Kevicho

saintly wrote:

i know i willingly paid only on the assumption that i was gonna get the money back, i dont mind payin at all i believe in 50/50, but its not like that anymore, ive already asked him for petrol money as he dont drive that came up against a brick wall.



we do have a budget set out normally for each weekend, however this was our birthday meal so we upped it ( i had saved money from last month for the meal), maybe our budget isnt realistic, we can review it

sorry for my rant im just so angry!!

Dont apologise, its good to vent frustrations

TBH most men are really self centered and i think you are fair to ask for petrol contributions, if he wont pay, stop taxiing him lol

LookingAhead

saintly....if things are making you angry it's time to take action / make a stand before it undermines your relationship.

I think, if I were in your shoes I would probably not plan anything else with him for the moment, and when he brings up the idea of going somewhere then take that opportunity to say "That's a good idea but we can only do it if we split it 50/50 because I can't afford to pay for it all any more" or something along those lines.

In the meantime you could also tell him you are putting your finances under the microscope and you will be cutting back. You may have already told him this before but it reaffirms it and he can't say it comes out of the blue when you do tell him about the 50/50 thing later on.

Please don't let it fester away or gnaw away at how you feel about your BF. I hope you can work it out.

southernscouser

Let me take you out and you won't have to pay for a thing!

I'll even cook you breakfast! :cool:

LookingAhead

:rotfl:

Here we go again.......:rotfl:

GettingThingsDone

I totally agree with LookingAhead... and if you're not careful, you'll end up being his mother

Seriously though, ranting on here gets it out of your system, but it also allows him to get off scot-free. Best case, he really doesn't know what effect this is having on you; worst case, he's taking the pee. Sometimes it's better to avoid confrontations (especially about money) but other times its the only way forwards...

Good luck with it all either way