How to fund having children?

Kira000

angelil wrote: »

Kira000: I think by the time I have saved that I will be too old to have children

Don't get me wrong - I am well aware that we are fortunate in France with the benefits we receive here, and I can see that it can't be that different to London. I was hoping that some London posters would pop up

Yes... London is an expensive place! I know the worry about age as well. I would have preffered to start trying for a family 2 years ago, but i just couldnt do so until i had saved enough- i hit 35, and that was an age i didnt want to pass without starting to try, and luckily the savings were just enough by then. It was a struggle saving- lots of things i would have liked, got sacrificed, as the goal was worth it. On his part, my husband worked like mad to get a pay increase to help out, and paid a bit more of the bills to help me save more, as well as increasing his savings too.

To return, i am looking at 4 days a week, as its the most financially worth while- 4 days childcare to pay, but with the UK tax rates, losing a day drops me a tax band, so i work one full day less, but actually only lose the pay for about 1/3-1/2 day given the tax reduction, and with the day less commuting, some of that is recovered from less commuting costs. Worth working out what the optimal working days might be for you? I don't know the french tax system to know if it might be similar differences.

If you used to be a nanny, could you maybe combine being a SAHM with offering childcare yourself, then you will be being paid to SAH?

JC9297

Just wondering what ties you to Paris (other than your current jobs)? If you want to stay in France could you relocate to a cheaper part of the country? If you are from the UK could you consider moving back (to a cheaper area than London)?

Gillyx

Totally agree, with if you waited you'd never have them. When I fell pregnant it was a complete surprise and I'd just quit my job to move miles away to be with my partner.

We're managing but not great, we have one part time wage coming in and a student loan at the moment, it's been really difficult but in a few weeks I'll be able to receive maternity allowance due to my N.I contributions in the past year. Even then we won't have excess money. Luckily because I'm not working I have time to shop around for everything we buy, so can make the best savings there. We're also living in a 1 bed, 1 bathroom, and a combined living area/kitchen flat.

That said, I wouldn't change anything for the world now, I can't wait to meet my little boy and we're both the happiest we've ever been.

Would your Husband be able to get work in another European city? Somewhere where potentially the cost of living isn't just as high?

RAS

angelil wrote: »

Has anyone here taken out a loan to pay for the extra costs of a bigger place for a short time while one parent is staying home to provide the childcare? (Just something that's occurred to me tonight.) Or would that just be silly?

I was just going to post the opposite. If i understand the situation, you get 6 months funded maternity leave and get help with nursery from 2 years?

So what you need to fund is the 18 months in between and the extra room?

You need to go on MSE overdrive and save enough in the next few years to fund a bigger place for a few years and to cover the 18 months when you need additional childcare.

Is that doable?

clairec79

When we were looking at buying a house we set our budget to that where we could survive on one wage, as we knew we wanted them to have a parent around whilst they were younger.

When we had our eldest we managed to work it so we both worked parttime, he worked from 5am to 11.30-12.00 - can't remember exactly (6 days a week so fulltime) and I started 30 minutes after he finished (handed baby over outside my work) and did 30 hours a week -

would it be possible for you both to work parttime? and negate the need for childcare

claire16c

clairec79 wrote: »

When we were looking at buying a house we set our budget to that where we could survive on one wage, as we knew we wanted them to have a parent around whilst they were younger.

Thats what i would like to do (in an idea world). The problem is that 2 bed houses where we live start around 200k so its pretty much impossible, and if we have children we'd probably want/need 3 beds. So Im going to have to go back to work if we hopefully have children. Luckily my mum wants to look after them for a part of the week so we can save on childcare. Its really difficult with the insane property prices. Also my DHs job basically depends on us living in an affluent area so theres no moving away from it either!

I think the thing about working part time each is a good suggestion. The problem of that is finding jobs that will actually let you do that.

Spendless

RAS wrote: »

I was just going to post the opposite. If i understand the situation, you get 6 months funded maternity leave and get help with nursery from 2 years?

So what you need to fund is the 18 months in between and the extra room?

You need to go on MSE overdrive and save enough in the next few years to fund a bigger place for a few years and to cover the 18 months when you need additional childcare.

Is that doable?

^^^^. This. That's what I was going to say. You need to save the equivalent of what you'll earn in those 18 months when the equivalent of your wages will go on childcare. You are only 25 so it should be acheivable within a few years.

We manged cos we both lived alone in our own places so were not used to a double income lifestyle.

angelil

Wow, thank you all so much for your replies. I am incredibly appreciative xx

Kira000 wrote: »

If you used to be a nanny, could you maybe combine being a SAHM with offering childcare yourself, then you will be being paid to SAH?

Great idea! This I could definitely consider as I'm sure other mums in the area would be in a similar situation. I did enjoy the nannying/PT nursery assistant job but only quit because the working conditions were not great where I was before.

JC9297 wrote: »

Just wondering what ties you to Paris (other than your current jobs)? If you want to stay in France could you relocate to a cheaper part of the country? If you are from the UK could you consider moving back (to a cheaper area than London)?

Paris = current jobs. If we moved I could potentially keep the same job (but not likely) but he couldn't.
I am from the UK (he isn't) but we wouldn't consider moving back, no.
It is true though that jobs are more evenly spread out in Britain whereas in France they are *very* concentrated around Paris.
Equally, it sounds funny, but in France transferable skills don't count for very much/anything. They are very dependent here on you having the right piece of paper/the right experience and so a change of sector is not as possible as it would be in the UK.

Gillyx wrote: »

Would your Husband be able to get work in another European city? Somewhere where potentially the cost of living isn't just as high?

We are potentially considering moving to another country (Luxembourg) but that would be more for the change of scenery I don't know enough about the different costs of living there yet as it is just an idea we are toying with at this stage rather than something we are seriously looking into. But yes, he might be able to, and I would be able to as well I'm sure. But our jobs are very city-based so moving somewhere more rural where prices are lower is definitely more difficult.

RAS wrote: »

I was just going to post the opposite. If i understand the situation, you get 6 months funded maternity leave and get help with nursery from 2 years?

So what you need to fund is the 18 months in between and the extra room?

Yes.

You need to go on MSE overdrive and save enough in the next few years to fund a bigger place for a few years and to cover the 18 months when you need additional childcare.

Is that doable?

As I said above, lamentably probably not. I already save about €250 a month and really could not save any more. Even at that rate any children we had would probably be teenagers by the time we managed to save anything substantial

clairec79 wrote: »

would it be possible for you both to work parttime? and negate the need for childcare

Both, probably not due to the cut in salary. But then again if you're not paying for childcare...
As it is I am already part-time; I want more hours where I am but work is not in a position to give them to me. So I am already looking elsewhere for a full-time post, which from what you suggest may actually backfire

claire16c: I am glad (in a funny sort of way!) to see someone else in the same boat!! Glad it's not just us.

I suppose I should also mention I am keen to start a family before I am 30 as I have PCOS and we also have a case of early menopause in the family (my cousin was in her 20s as well when she had this).

Kira000

angelil wrote: »

Great idea! This I could definitely consider as I'm sure other mums in the area would be in a similar situation. I did enjoy the nannying/PT nursery assistant job but only quit because the working conditions were not great where I was before.

Well, that sounds like a good plan to explore then! I know a few ladies from pregnancy forums here who have gone down that route in the UK, who werent even in childcare before, and found it a great way to be able to be with their kinds, so with your previous experience, and liking the work, sounds like a winner! If you dont know the info already, then best place to start might be what the rules are for registering yourself and your home for childcare?

Good luck!!

milliebear00001

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

We decided to move from London to a cheaper Northern city as we couldn't afford what we wanted down South (a 3 bed house and for me to be a SAHM). We moved away from family and friends too.

Just keep remembering "where there's a will there's a way!"

We moved to a much cheaper town, in the North of England too. I had my first child in London and would have had to go back to work, just to earn the tiny extra amount we needed to survive (after childcare costs).

We moved and I stayed at home while we rented (having sold our house). Our housing costs here are half what we paid in London.

When my OH became ill, I retrained (as a teacher) which allows me to work anywhere (my previous field doesn't exist outside London!) My OH now stays at home with our kids.

We managed to buy on just my salary last year - but only because we made a huge profit on our previous house-sale. That was lucky, and if we hadn't had that money for a deposit, we would still be renting (and probably would be for the forseeable.

Is there no possibility that you could move to another area completely? Is retraining an option for either of you?