Invited to wife's nephew's baby 1st year birthday 200 miles away

financequest

Dear fellow MSE colleagues. The wife's sister has asked us to attend her grandson's 1st birthday party in a couple of weeks time. The baby's parents live nearly 200 miles away from us, and have a fairly small place so no space for guests Travelling there and back in one day (400 miles) is not really an option. So fuel costs, hotel room, meals etc would be a major expense for us. Would I be unreasonable to send a card and small gift with thanks for invite, and apologies regarding non-attendance?. I was not sure what was normally expected under these circumstances.

jamespir

of course it would

fatblackandwhite

I would absolutely send a gift and card (if you would buy the child a gift anyway) and your apologies. Of course if would be nice if you could be there, but as you say - the cost isn't really justifiable. TBH - the child won't remember if you were there anyway! My sister didnt come to my son's first birthday, nor did my closest aunt and they live in Liverpool and Cheshire (We live in Manchester!). I dont have any hard feelings and I am sure my son (now nearly two) couldnt care less!

rosalie-lavender

Yes I think it would be perfectly acceptable. It would be better to wait and go when he is a bit older and will remember the visit.

Sambucus_Nigra

My bro's family live 167 miles from us and we go down in the morning, it takes 3 hours [with a short break] we share the driving and we come home that night.

It takes one tank of fuel. I love seeing the little/[not so little any more] ones [now 8 and 5]. I've not missed a birthday or a Christmas visit since they were born.

It depends on whether you really want to go or not, but it's definitely doable in one day.

victory

It would be an exhausting day but it would be just that one day out of all the others that you could rest and relax in, as for the finances you can only make the judgement whether it is feesable or not but if it is then you will enjoy it and not have the pleasure of attending the little ones 1st birthday, all those lovely memories but if you can't then it is absolutely perfect to send a gift and a card and a sorry cannot make it, that is fine:D

podperson

Of course it's not unreasonable - it's a long way to go for one day and let's face it the child isn't going to have much clue of what is going on at that age anyway. Could have the complete wrong end of the stick here but the fact that it's the grandma who's asked you not the parents would imply to me that the parents have realised it would be a trek for you and didn't expect you would be able to make it. Am sure they will appreciate a card and gift sent.

financequest

Many thanks for all replies. We have decided to go with the gift and card and apology plan.