Tesco Discussion chat & grabbits eleven +

lookinforabargain

mandycr wrote: »

:eek: that obvious :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: they really are swines around here lol

btw i have seen people tryin to move house on a bus soooo funny black bags suit cases tv,s and family of 10 all at once once saw a guy with double matress tryin to get on bus driver told him to do one lol really shouldnt be putting my area down now should i lol:o

It was the alkies and the tennents super that gave it away I'd go as far to say you're in Glasgow?? :rotfl::rotfl:

HappyChappy84

Andy received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the least, rude. It was a shocking, rude, aggressive, violent and bad-tempered bird.

Andy tried hard to change the birds attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example... but nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude, and bit him harder.

One day Andy saw his mother coming up his driveway, and he knew there was NO WAY she could be allowed to hear this parrot’s appalling language. In a moment of desperation, Andy shut the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream - then suddenly, there was quiet. Not a sound. Andys mother didn’t stay long, and the moment she left Andy rushed to his freezer thinking the worst. Andy quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot, shivering, and a bit frosted, calmly stepped out onto Andys extended arm and said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavour at once to correct my bad behaviour. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness for my previous extremely bad manners”.

Andy was astonished at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change in its outlook when the parrot continued, “May I ask, what did the chicken do wrong?”

HappyChappy84

lookinforabargain wrote: »

It was the alkies and the tennents super that gave it away I'd go as far to say you're in Glasgow?? :rotfl::rotfl:

I'm going there tomorrow.

frequent

Asked kids if they had their 5 a day, they said no.

1. aero mint
2. dairy milk
3. Lindells
4. mars fun size
5 maltesers fun size

job done

HappyChappy84

nikkilala wrote: »

Happy, have you been telling naughty jokes? ,no boobies, bums, mens bits or bad language in your jokes please:pAnd now I know what you'll do, you'll find a way to post a naughty one with none of those in:rotfl:

I think I've found one that gets around your rules.

A girl goes to the doctor's office for a checkup.
As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest.
"How did you get that mark on your chest?", asks the doctor.
"Oh my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his sweatshirt, even when we make love", she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest.
"How did you get that mark on your chest?", asks the doctor.
"Oh my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his sweatshirt, even when we make love", she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest.
"Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.
She replies, "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, why do you ask?"

lookinforabargain

HappyChappy84 wrote: »

I'm going there tomorrow.

Lucky you, I Glasgow. Haven't been for ages
My OH is from Glasgow. It's a great city

HappyChappy84

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to seek his help in reviving her husband's libido.

"What about trying Viagra? Asks the doctor. "Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin."

"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Give him an Irish Soluble Viagra. Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."

It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! 'Twas horrid. Just terrible doctor!."

"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor?"

"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped his self straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulgin' fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flyin', ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the table-top! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute !!!!in' nightmare!"

"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?"

"Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed! 'Twas the best sex I've had in 50 years of marriage! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll niver be able to show me face in Starbucks again."

nictrinwyn

Not done too badly tonight...found 2 halloween dresses for 4p each, one 2-3 years and the other 3-4..that will do for the next few years and my LO is only 1....lol.

Picked up about 4 bags of halloween sweets for 1p each..sadly no dairy milk left on the shelf.

2 footballs - £1 each
pack of pens Stabilo 20 pack - £1 - couldn't believe the price, only checked them as someone had mentioned the OOD SEL of the 10 pack, the right SEL of 4.38 was there for 10 pack and they would not scan. Sadly only one pack of these pens on rail, with an OOS label. Well chuffed, as I actually paid about £9 for these one year as my 11 year old really wanted them.

Shelf empty of selection boxes and no signs of galaxy ones, but asked a young worker and he kindly went off to look, came back with a box of stocking ones - so got 6 for £6

Found 2 of the ambi pur japan plug in things, SEL of £1.27
Orange flash wipes - didn't have chance to scan, so decided to buy one and go back for more if cheap - forgot to check and these were 25p, oh well got 1.

Haven't yet found any plenty. Got a few modern milks too, always enjoy a freebie or two, could only get 3 strawberry - I think these are quite nice and picked up 6 of the coffee ones...don't like coffee myself..those are for my mum and the MIL - 3 each.
Quite pleased with my shop today, hope some of this may help someone else.

HappyChappy84

During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: "John, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
John said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite." "What about you Heinz, how would you say it?"
Heinz said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table." "And you, little Pete, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners? "
I would say: "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."
The teacher fainted.

artha

karlie88 wrote: »

Evening all!

Apologies if posted already but I came across this bargain tonight:

Cadbury Fair Trade Dairy Milk Chocolate Bar 120G






WAS £1.39 NOW 34p!!!!

SEL label said 34p!

BARCODE: 5034660521792

I'll take it then that you haven't read todays and yerstedays posts;). Never mind there are those that might have missed it:)