Tesco Discussion chat & grabbits eleven +

mymerrywidow

NKLK wrote: »

which is daft really because over night childcare is far easier than day time!

yes but you have to pay for 12 hours. and from 10pm its "preminum rate" i am not paying someone to sleep!!!

Dizzy_Ditzy

Beki88 wrote: »

Just been to see my dr and he refused to look at me.
I have pain all under my left shoulder blade bit on my neck and its made us both so jumpy, on the way home approaching a big roundabout a truck looked like it wasnt slowing down fast enough and both our stomachs did back flips

Sorry for such a long post.

got to A&E or Minor Injuries Unit. MIU is likely to have less waiting time but you need to get seen. Today. This is especially important for any insurance claims

mona_lisa

Can somebody tell me where the scanners are in s*lverburn. Been all round store and can't find them. Instore now TIA

andreavinne

tazmac25 wrote: »

That's my neck of the woods
Huddersfield rd Oldham - 1 scanner near kids clothes
Fails worth - no scanners
Middleton - scanners in home, clothing and custard aisle
Chadderton - no scanners
Gorton - scanners in sweeties aisle
Cheetham hill - scanner in cereal but very well hidden

Happy hunting andreavinne xxxx

Thank u so much. Hoping to find some scarfes,didnt get any over here

Feelinskint

Ok Sorry I got no glitches to contribute but hopefully I can help with a joke........

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.

The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;

a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and

a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
I had no control over the drooling.
Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

Ilovemykids

Christmasshopper wrote: »

I went shopping without my glasses and accidentally bought the 4p shoes in a size 6 instead of a size 5. Do you think I should take them back and swap them? :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I'm a size 6!!! :rotfl:

mandz27

Mona Lisa - There's none in there ,

xx

mogchops

No Ts for me today :eek:

Will have to make up for it tomorrow!!!

Strange thing just noticed though - last night I was browsing on Matalan website, not logged in, just looking at some things. Just now, was on ebay, and the advert at the top of the page was for Matalan - and it was all 3 of the things I had looked at :eek::eek:

How did it know??!!!!!

DODO_2

Can someone please answer my beginner question - how do you subscribe to a particular thread and why should you do this?

(hope this makes sense?!)

Beki88

queen_of_cheap wrote: »

got to A&E or Minor Injuries Unit. MIU is likely to have less waiting time but you need to get seen. Today. This is especially important for any insurance claims

I just rang our local walk in center and they said to come in but it says on the website they wont deal with it. I just cant be hanging about got 2 kids to consider one with aspergers so trying to figure out what would be best thing to do.