Tesco Discussion chat & grabbits eleven +

HappyChappy84

celebrate wrote: »

HAPPYCHAPPY!!!!:eek::eek::eek:

Was it too much?

I did have a picture to go with that joke but I thought better of it.

HappyChappy84

McDonald's love story...

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonald's one cold winter evening.

They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night.

Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking:

"Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"

The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal.

The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray.

There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink.

The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife.

Then he carefully counted out the french fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites.

Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were saying. - "They were used to sharing everything."

Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing. She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of the drink.

A young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal.

The lady explained that no, they were used to sharing.

As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again.

After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything.

What is it that you are waiting for?"

She answered,





















"THE TEETH"

HappyChappy84

Sheep

A poor farmer has three sheep and one old ram. As the three sheep are not conceiving the farmer calls in the vet. Well, you have three options says the vet, a new ram or artificial insemination. "Sounds too costly," said the farmer, "but you said three options!"

"Yes," said the vet, "do it yourself."

The farmer was aghast. "How will I know if it works?"

"Well," said the vet, "if they roll around in the mud the morning after you have made love to them then they are not pregnant, however if they roll around in the hay, they are pregnant."

So, the next day the farmer takes the three sheep in his land rover and does the business. Next morning he calls to his wife, "What are the sheep doing love?"

"They are rolling in the mud, Jack."

So with a heavy heart he takes the three sheep in his land rover and once again does the business. Next morning, "What are the sheep doing love?"

Suspiciously she says, "They are rolling in the mud jack."

By now he's exhausted and puts the sheep in to the land rover and does the business. Next morning, "What are the sheep doing love?"

"Well this is very strange," she answers. "Two of them are in the back of the land rover and the other one is pipping the horn.

NKLK

Gross lol! :rotfl: (the mcds one)

HappyChappy84

Mrs. Smith had always suspected her son, Mike, was having an intimate relationship with his roommate, Jennifer.
One night, Mike invites his mother over for dinner. All thru the night, Mrs. Smith watched Mike and Jennifer interact, and was pretty sure there was more than met the eye. Mike saw his mother watching them and assured her that they were just roommates.
A few nights later, Jennifer went to Mike with a problem.
"Ever since your mother was here for dinner, I have been unable to find the gravy ladle. Do you think she took it?"
Mike replied, "I doubt it, but I'll e-mail her and ask her anyway."
Mike sat down at the computer and composed the following e-mail:

Dearest Mother,
I'm not saying you did take the gravy ladle, and I'm not saying you did not take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains, since you were here for dinner, we have been unable to find the ladle.
Love always,
Mike

Two days later, Mike received the following reply from his mother:

Dearest Michael,
I'm not saying you do sleep with Jennifer, and I'm not saying you do not sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains, had Jennifer been sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the ladle by now.
Love,
Mother

Moral of the story: Don't lie to your mother!

Dwaine_Pipes

Energiser LED headtorch

got a dtd on ood sel for this today 1/2 price £5.00 scanned £10

I can't post links yet but if you put the following into google it should return as the first hit!

tesco R.2086845

got the last two!
might be worth looking out for?

Ilovemykids

enough HC I too need to go to bed.....and all this laughter is making my cough worse! :eek: :rotfl:................mind you worth it!

Ilovemykids

night night!

tazmac25

Details of the tool bag and tools

http://direct.tesco.com/q/R.209-2305.aspx

Were at £1.25 but now scan back again at £15 but still a bargain
Come in a squarish white box

Hope this helps xxx

HappyChappy84

Ilovemykids wrote: »

enough HC I too need to go to bed.....and all this laughter is making my cough worse! :eek: :rotfl:................mind you worth it!

Yeah, not going to over do it. I'll do a few a day.

Night night.