Update on my dd - not good!

teabag29

So following my previous thread about dd getting attacked at school. Yesterday she came home and behaved terribly. She said she spent the day in the teachers office and was given work to do she didnt understand which she had to finish off for homework, instead she ripped it up and insisted she wouldnt even try. This morning she was much worse, picking on the other siblings and myself. By school time i knew i could not let her walk to school alone and so had to wake my husband up to take her whilst i took the younger ones (he'd not long got in to bed from a nigt shift).

Dd was saying shes not going to school and that she wanted to kill herself as thats the only way it will all stop for her (meaning the bullying and her learning probs and not being abkle to understand the work or get on with other kids her age). As hubby was about to put his shoes on, dd ran out the front door staright into the road (luckily there were no cars) and hubby chased after her with no shoes on. He caught up with her but before doing so he fell over and thinks he may have broken his thumb (we are off to a n e soon). He bought her back home and she had a bit of a breakdown saying how much she hates school and she cant cope anymore etc,

I rang school who informed me that she was fine yesterday. I explained that she puts on a front to them as that is her protective barrier against it all and if she were to break down to them she would be like an open wound. I also explained she is suffering from paranoia now and seems to think everyone is against her especially the teachers.

They agreed to keep a close eye on her and she agreed to go in today while i do all i can to get her the help she needs asap. I have spent all day either on the phone or out and about. Psychology service want her to have an emergency mental health asessment due to her talking about suicide, they are also organising for the head of the psycology service to do another ep report and push for a statement asap, and he is ready to take on the school. They have advised me to make a complaint through the board of governors about the school and also with the police regarding her latest attack (i have done this and they are coming to take a statement off dd). The doctor wont give me an appt until monday so if i feel dd is suicidal i have to take her to AnE for an emergency mental health asessment. I have also rang the local special needs school who say they cant even consider enrolling her until she is fully statemented however they may be able to have her for 2 days per week on a link until she gets a statement.

I'm absolutely drained. I'm gonna keep her off school tomorrow and monday and see whats what, psychologist is coming on Tuesday aswell. What a day....its my birthday too. Going to pick her up now and hopefully she will be feeling better than earlier

LadyMorticia

Oh hun. My heart goes out to both of you. You seem to always have a fight on your hands with getting the help your DD needs. I really don't have any advice for you so all I can offer is an ear and some hugs. :grouphug:

mummyroysof3

oh gosh,i hope hubby gets his thumb sorted out and your daughter finally gets the help she needs..take care of yourself too x

kazzah60

hi Teabag
I can understand 100% just how you are feeling and how your daughter is behaving.
My youngest son has a physical disability which he has overcome quite well, and when he transferred to secondary school he started to get bullied because he was quite academic and not at all sporty as some of the other boys were.

His behaviour changed drastically -he was argumentative, defensive, caused problems at home, his asthma flared up and he was hospitalised with it - all in all he was a very unhappy boy

we could not get any satisfaction from the school - they were deeply dis interested and eventually for fear of him taking his own life we changed his school
thankfully it was an academic school and the emphasis was on studying rather than sports which suited our son down to the ground.

I hope you get this sorted- I just wanted to say to you, that I understand how badly being attacked and bullied can affect your child and how hard it is to deal with the consequences

Best of luck
Karen

chivers1977

Oh I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through so much but hopefully now "they" will sit up and listen and realise that this girl is struggling for whatever reason and give her the help that she needs to learn in an environment that she feels safe in

saving_pennies

I just read your post and couldn't leave without replying. I feel so sad for the situation your daughter is in. I really hope that the school and police take the situation seriously and your daughter gets the support she deserves. I hope you get support too, it can't be easy hearing your daughter talk of suicide.

With warm wishes,

MRSTITTLEMOUSE

Can't offer any help but just wanted to wish you and your family luck.
I well remember how hard it was being that age,hope your daughter gets the help she needs and you can keep strong in the meantime.
Its not easy being a mum sometimes,take care.

teabag29

Well police came and turns out school were right, they arent going to be doing much! They didnt even see dd or take a statement. Apparently they have an arrangement with the school whereby they let school deal with incidents that happens in the school and only get involved if/when school think it serious enough. Added to the fact there were no witnesses theres not much they could do anyway. They did however promise to have a word with the lad!

sharjay99

I can fully sympathise, my son is 12 and has severe learning delays, ADHD, behavioural problems, no sense of fear or danger or others emotions and to top it off verbal dyspraxia which just elevates the behaviour due to frustration.
He had to be moved classes in school due to the teacher realising he was being bullied however he was banned from getting the minibus to school as they said he was lashing out at other children, he normally needs some reason to lash out no matter how small (he smashed a window with his fist due to being tired the other day) and other children know how to provoke him. Not saying hes any sort of angel but he doesnt have a voice to let someone know his feelings or if he needs time out from others therefore coming across as just a bully.

Hes threatened to stab himself before when being told off and ive constantly been called to the school for what is 'bad behaviour', unfortunatly its easy for someone to say something/pinch/flick/be generally provokative and for him to take it out of proportion and drag them off a chair by their hair and the teacher will only see him and punish him until you get in a catch 22 where they believe they must really be the bad one and they become the bully.

Hope things get better for your daughter and hope you get a special needs placement, my son loves going to school no matter what and I have nothing but praise for the school and staff. If only every child could have an education with 3 teachers/assistants to about 10 children helping them reach their full potential... whatever level that may be

morledge142

i would get the child out of school if it is causing them so much distress, i can never understand why parents don;t and leave them to become more and more emotionallly upsset/abused as a friend of mine has done the same.

i took my child out nearly 2 years ago, i am not saying it is easy and it certainly stopped us getting help, but i cuold not imagine him being sent in day and day and continuing to be so upset.

at least he is happy at home and really social interaction can take place to enough of an extent that it matters but does not cause more emotional distress.

i am learning day by day how to deal with him, how to adapt education to his needs etc but most improtantly he is happy.

we have seen a paed 2 adn have waited to see an ed pscy but not happened, apparently in our area they are only linked to schools so has never happend. paed admits there is something but no lable.

to be honest we inteneded to send him back to school once help had been arranged - how nieve we were as nearly 2 years down we still have not seen any specialists.

but then again a friend of mine whose son is similar has had problems but they kept him in school and he has not had any quicker treatment/appointments with specialists either. school do not like to admit there are problems and refer kids.

take each day a day at a time - what would make your child hapier today - if they don;t want to go to school - don;t send them, then the next and the next.......

all the best. your childs health and well being is the most important.

pinkdragon

My son (15) suffers with OCD and was having problems with school too. So I took him out of school and we home educate - result is a very happy, well-adjusted boy who doesn't get bullied any longer and is a joy to be around.

I know home ed isn't for everybody but it may be something to think about?