17 year old and housing

julie03

a couple of years ago my sisters then 15 year old son had a girlfriend that he was sneaking out at all hours to see. it caused alot of arguments within the family because he was failing at school and he ended up going to live with the girlfriends family against my sisters wishes.

fast foward 2 years and predictably the whole thing has gone pear shaped and they have split up.
the girlfriends mother forged my sisters signiture and managed to get a private fostering arrangment.

He is a very independant lad and has decided the best way forward is to stay in a hostel (connextions put him in touch with them) and wait it out till he can get his own place, but the place he is living in at the moment has constant theft and you cant even have food there as it will get stolen.

my sister has asked him to come home but she has 6 others at home and has said they will make do till he is 18, and then can go on housing list.

is there any sort of assisted housing for teenagers or do they have to wait it out in hostels and then go onto adult hostels at 18.
does anyone know what happens, this is in the Peterbough area

Caroline_a

julie03 wrote: »

a couple of years ago my sisters then 15 year old son had a girlfriend that he was sneaking out at all hours to see. it caused alot of arguments within the family because he was failing at school and he ended up going to live with the girlfriends family against my sisters wishes.

fast foward 2 years and predictably the whole thing has gone pear shaped and they have split up.
the girlfriends mother forged my sisters signiture and managed to get a private fostering arrangment.

He is a very independant lad and has decided the best way forward is to stay in a hostel (connextions put him in touch with them) and wait it out till he can get his own place, but the place he is living in at the moment has constant theft and you cant even have food there as it will get stolen.

my sister has asked him to come home but she has 6 others at home and has said they will make do till he is 18, and then can go on housing list.

is there any sort of assisted housing for teenagers or do they have to wait it out in hostels and then go onto adult hostels at 18.
does anyone know what happens, this is in the Peterbough area

My first thought was that surely this should be reported!! Is your nephew working/in school/in college? I would say that going on the housing list isn't going to be a quick solution for him, most LAs have long waiting lists! Probably his best bet is to get a job and save up - he shouldn't keep much money around him if it's getting stolen, leave it in the bank!

Where is his father in all this?

julie03

his father is married to my sister and also feels that he should come home, he is at college and has a part time saturday job.

the girlfriends mother is holding his personal belongs ie: laptop ps3 and the more expensive shoes and trainers she is also holding his bus pass which gets him to college, her argument is it was bought with fostering money so should stay with her. the police have been told and it is being dealt with. My sister is trying get his things back first and will then be talking to the fostering team as she had no idea about it, it was all very messy at the time and the woman used to gloat at how she had stolen her son and was now getting all the money for him

Kay_Peel

Let's look at it from his point of view:

I can't imagine that any young man would want to return to a house with 6 young children, under the eyes of his parents, after 2 years of relative freedom. There's nothing to say that the problems that led to his leaving when he was 15 would be resolved or improved: they could be worse. He recognises that his return will cause upheaval and overcrowding and he may not want to be a burden, even though the offer is for temporary accommodation until he reaches 18.

He may feel that he's not really wanted. Did his parents put up a fight to keep him at home when he was 15 or were they relieved to see him move out? I couldn't let a child go to another family, myself - I strongly believe that teenagers need more parenting, more communication, more demonstrations of love and far, far more attention than young children - but that must have been hard with 6 others. Big families can be wonderfully enriching but they have a downside.

Unless his parents tell him and show him that they truly want him at home - and aren't just 'putting up with it' - then I can't see him giving up his freedom and his own space, even at the risk of petty theft. Centrepoint might be able to give him some advice.

Caroline73_2

If he hadn't been at the girlfriends for 2 years what would he have done? Would he still be living in the family home?

julie03

my sister and her husband put up a huge fight and begged him not to go, they were trying to parent and the other lady just let him do what he wanted including sleeping with her then 14 year old daughter , telling my sister to move with the times.
he saw freedom and at 15 he took it.

if he had stayed he would be sharing with his brother but since those two years have passed the two eldest have moved into the box rooms and the four girls that were in 1 room have moved 2 each into the bigger rooms and have all recently been decorated so he would have to move into a girly room

this woman turned him against his family and he used to cut my sister dead in the street if he saw her, and even after all that happened he knows how much his family loves him

mrshaz

if he wants to stay in a hostel that is his choice, he is old enough now to make his own decisions. or at least feel that he is. he might not feel part of the family anymore , hes no lnger in the place he has called home fr the last 2 years. rather than move back 'home' just to move out agaimn hes decided to do it alone.

they just need to be there to support him in what he wants to do, the last thing they want is to force him home, they might well lose him for good but dont make him feel like hes abandoned thats the scariest thing in the world asd a teen.

i was kicked out from home at 16 (my mum and stepdad wanted their own little family just them and my sister) i was in college, i moved into a shared house with 5 men, i was terrified as a 16 year old girl that my mum left me there. i did however get on with it i left college and got a job in mcds to be able to move into my own 1 room bedsit.

gizmo111

What basis was this woman fostering him - kinship? Private fostering doesn't usually come with money attached to it.
If it was kinship then he would have been accommodated under s20 of Children Act and would be classed as a CareLeaver. If not then the Southwark RUling on homeless 16/17 yr olds will apply - some infor here http://www.leavingcare.org/admin/uploads/87fe6ee0fa282a244ec64e4fab764aca.pdf

Savvy_Sue

I don't know about Peterborough, but there are some youth housing options, although I'd have expected Connexions to know about any local options. There's Foyers, but you could also google for youth housing in Peterborough.

*Robin*

The YMCA in Cambridge offers very cheap, good, supported accommodation to teens/young adults who need extra help on the way to independence.

Don't know if all YMCAs are the same these days, but Cambridge is not too far from Peterborough.
HTH.

Flyboy152

julie03 wrote: »

a couple of years ago my sisters then 15 year old son had a girlfriend that he was sneaking out at all hours to see. it caused alot of arguments within the family because he was failing at school and he ended up going to live with the girlfriends family against my sisters wishes.

fast foward 2 years and predictably the whole thing has gone pear shaped and they have split up.
the girlfriends mother forged my sisters signiture and managed to get a private fostering arrangment.

He is a very independant lad and has decided the best way forward is to stay in a hostel (connextions put him in touch with them) and wait it out till he can get his own place, but the place he is living in at the moment has constant theft and you cant even have food there as it will get stolen.

my sister has asked him to come home but she has 6 others at home and has said they will make do till he is 18, and then can go on housing list.

is there any sort of assisted housing for teenagers or do they have to wait it out in hostels and then go onto adult hostels at 18.
does anyone know what happens, this is in the Peterbough area

That sounds bit odd. From what I understand, these are not approved without some involvement from social care.